Nothing on the Side
by bmango
Summary: Bella has resigned herself to her life and the rule of "nothing on the side" imposed by her boss. Can any man accept her for who she is and not what she does? Entry for the Lyrical Melodrama Story Contest. AH, OOC, BxJ
1. Chapter 1

**Lyrical Melodrama Story Contest**

**Name of story: Nothing on the Side**

**Pen name: bmango**

**Song story is inspired by: "Roxanne"**

**Artist: The Police**

**Category: Newbie**

**Main Pairing: Jasper/Bella**

**POV: Bella and Jasper**

**To read the rest of the entries, go to the Lyrical Melodrama Story Contest C2 on the website/forum.**

**If you want to see the rules for this contest, go to the website.**

**If you have any questions about the contest, contact them either via PM or their email:**

**competitions(at)thewriterscoffeeshop(dot)com**

**or go to **

**www(dot)thewriterscoofeeshop(dot)com**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. I do, however, own the books and a 4-disc anthology (Message in a Box) of The Police's greatest works.**

***************************************

Walk the streets for money  
You don't care if it's wrong or if it's right  
~"Roxanne", The Police

***************************************

I shudder slightly as his moans increase. "Ooh, baby, you feel so good in my mouth...," I try to purr, but I'm certain I sound a little pre-recorded.

I have to stifle my laughter at that thought as I suck his cock back in my mouth. Laughing would definitely not make him happy. I swirl my tongue around the head of his dick and use my hand to caress his balls. I can feel him start to twitch and hum lightly, happy at this sure sign that this will soon be over. He's becoming very vocal and in the tiny space of his car my ears are starting to ring. His hands suddenly tense in my hair and he yells his release. _Damn, I hate when they pull my hair._ I swallow quickly and smile up at him, tucking his softening cock back in his pants. My smile fades as I hear the drumming of the rain on the roof. _Rose, told me to grab a fucking umbrella, but did I? Noooo._ Sometimes, I wish I was a little more practical.

I settle back in the passenger seat and look over to the slightly overweight, middle-aged suit as he's still panting with his head back against the headrest. A small smile hints at my lips because I know I'm good at what I do. _It's why I make the big bucks._ I almost chuckle again.

Suddenly, his head whips in my direction and his face is almost angry. _Shit. I know what this means. Time to get wet._

"What the fuck are you still doing in my car?!"

"Nothing," I try to smile sweetly at him. "Just catching my breath from sucking your amazing cock." Just a few more minutes in the car and maybe I won't be totally drenched.

"Get the fuck out, you whore," he spits at me. He reaches across and opens my door just to emphasize his point.

I scramble out of the car into the dark and rain, grabbing my bag on the way and slam the door behind me. He peels away from the curb and almost runs into oncoming traffic. _Jackass._ I would like to say this was an uncommon occurrence, but this is the way it is more often than not. My customers are happy in their release, but then remember that this is illegal, or think of their woman at home, and get pissed at me. Like _I_ forced them to pull up to the curb and beckon me into their cars. Like I _want_ to suck their cocks. This is why I always get paid up front, rule number one. This guy actually gave me more time than most after we were done. Usually, it's tuck 'em in and out the door I go. Life is what it is.

I stand on the curb and look around for a second, getting my bearings. The rain is pounding on the pavement and quickly soaking through my barely there clothes. _Oh, the things I do to make a buck._ Well, that's not completely honest. The 'things I do to keep James happy and off my back' is more realistic.

I notice an all night pizza joint at the corner. Perhaps they have a public restroom I can clean up in and step out of the rain for a minute. The place is packed for a late Thursday night, and I head to the women's room to dry off a bit and see how bad I look. Glancing in the mirror, I frown. My short blond hair is a mess and plastered to my head, my makeup is streaked on my face and my clothes are likely ruined. _Fuck, I think I have to call it a night or at least, change my clothes. No one will pick me up looking like this. Should've grabbed that damn umbrella._ I dry myself as much as possible with the paper towels, fix my makeup and straighten my tight low-cut red blouse and short black skirt. _Now I just look like a drowned hooker. Great._

I head back to the counter and order a slice of white, a scrumptious pizza with garlic and ricotta. After eating, it seems the rain has lightened up and I head back outside for the long walk to my apartment. As I'm pausing for traffic on the corner, a total dad-mobile pulls up in front of me. I smirk. _Maybe the night's not shot after all..._ I lean over to the window as it lowers and a gorgeous specimen of man leans my direction, his wavy blond hair falling slightly into his eyes. _Fuck. Me._ He smiles crookedly at me and flashes his dimples. I put on my best smile and lean a little further over pushing my breasts up towards him. He glances down briefly before staring back at my face. His cool grey eyes seem to see right through me. My brain is screaming at me to run, but I stay rooted to the ground, my hands on his car door, staring into his penetrating eyes.

"Hey there, darlin'," he almost whispers. His gravelly voice creeps into my bones and I feel its weight settling permanently within me. "You look like you could use a ride, especially in this weather. Can I give you a lift some place?" He looks at me hopefully and with such honesty. I hesitate. He's not a customer, so what harm could this be? I get in cars with strange men every night. Why does this seem so different? _Walk away. Walk away now._ My inner voice is becoming insistent. I typically trust my instincts without hesitation, and they've definitely saved my skin many times. I'm still wavering in indecision as his cool gaze stays focused on me.

I'm certain that I'm not in control of my body as I nod, unable to speak in this moment. I ignore my brain's reasoning, my instincts that have never steered me wrong, as he pushes open the door. I climb in, turn to him slightly, and take a deep steadying breath...and wow, does he smell good. Like fresh rain and good earth. I don't think I've ever noticed a man's scent, usually just their horrendous cologne or bad breath. I shake myself slightly to clear my head and realize he's looking at me expectantly.

"Uh... Where can I take you?" My mind goes immediately to all the places I'd like to take him...this car would work for starters.

"Just heading home," I reply, quietly. "At the next block make a right, then a left on 5th and my place is only a couple blocks." Actually, Rose's place, but really, who's counting?

I shiver slightly and he turns up the heat. I put my hands up to the vent, curling my fingers into the heat and sighing as the warmth seeps into my skin. As he drives, he keeps stealing glances in my direction. He looks nervous and his grip on the steering wheel is turning his knuckles white. It's like he's finally realized he has a hooker in his family car. Although I am admiring the corded muscles of his forearms, I finally can't take it anymore.

"What?!?" I practically yell.

He jumps, startled from my outburst and I briefly feel guilty about that, but the tension is really starting to freak me out. "Um...well... I just wanted to ask your name?"

I stare at him incredulously. "My name??" He nods his head once. I pause for a second, considering. Only one other has ever asked for my name. "I'm Roxanne. And who might you be, my savior from the rain?" I wink at him to try to ease the tension.

His dimples make another appearance along with the lopsided grin. _Gah! It's enough to make a girl consider a different profession. Who am I kidding??_ I actually feel my panties get a little damp and I can't remember the last time that has happened. _Hmmm...something to think about at a later time. Alone._

"I'm Jasper, and it's my pleasure to rescue such a beautiful damsel in distress."

I look up at him and notice we are almost to Rose's apartment. "Anywhere along here is fine."

I wave my hand in the general direction of the curb and he pulls into an empty space. It's raining harder and I hear the rain on the roof over the sounds of the car. I smile at him and thank him, maneuvering my bag to climb out of the car. I feel him grab my wrist and a sudden shock radiates through my body from where he's touching my skin. I turn, startled, and about to practice my self defense moves on his face.

"I...uh...just wanted to say it was nice to meet you, ma'am, and I hope I can see you again." He looks both apologetic and expectant at the same time, releasing my wrist as he speaks.

"I don't think that's such a good idea." I see his face fall and I hastily add, "But if I see you, I see you."

I grab my things before he can take any greater hold on me. I hear him calling my name but I hustle up the steps of the building in front of me and I don't turn around. Luckily, the lock on the front door is broken so I let myself into the entryway. I watch with my hand flat on the textured glass of the door as he pulls away after a couple of minutes. Sighing with relief, I walk down the steps and head up the block to my building. I am confident he won't find me. _Why does that thought cause such pain?_

I finally enter my apartment building and head up to the second floor. My apartment may not have cathedral ceilings, a doorman, or really any amenities, but it is home. I recently moved from my small room in a larger apartment to this studio so that I could have a little more independence. James likes this arrangement because I could take clients home with me, although I never have or would. But, that's the only reason that he accepted and that he allows me this freedom. James actually isn't a harsh pimp; he lets us have some spending cash to do with as we want, more than most other hookers. Most of us live in places owned by our pimps and have our clothes and food provided as well. With James, he knows and we know we couldn't actually escape with the amount he allows us, but it makes us feel better. At least, we tell ourselves that. And, according to James, keeping his ladies happy is good business.

I jiggle the lock and turn the key just so and the door finally opens. Slamming the door shut, I start stripping my wet clothes from my body, tossing them on the floor. I head into the tiny bathroom and my small single shower, hoping that no one has used all the hot water. Thankfully, the steam starts to build and I bask in the warmth. I carefully remove my wig and set it on the mannequin head, unpinning my long brown hair and brushing through it quickly. I've always envied Rose's blond hair, because as much as I want to deny it, men really do prefer blonds. This wig often doubles the customers I would get in a typical night. I sigh softly and quickly brush the wig as well, hoping the rain didn't damage it too much.

I hop in the shower and scrub all the men from tonight off of me, trying to put Jasper far out of my mind. I swear, a hot shower should be listed as a cure for everything. When the water starts to cool, I hop out and wrap my favorite plush robe around me. Heading to the kitchen, I make myself some Irish breakfast tea. These are the moments I almost feel like a 'normal' person. I glance at the time and realize it's still early, only about 12:30. I need to check in with James but he will be pleased I made good cash tonight even with the rain.

I find my cell phone in my purse and see I have a missed call from Rose. I decide to call James first and as I'm listening to the ring on the other end, my mind starts wandering to the blond man with the ocean gray eyes. I'm pulled from my imagination by a gruff, "Yeah? Whatcha want?" on the other end.

"Hey, lovely, it's B. I've got three-fifty tonight and got soaked in the rain." _And I met the man of my dreams._ James would not be happy if he knew I was home so early, hopefully he'll tell me to call it a night.

"B, sweetness! Been expectin' ya. Soaking wet, eh? Just for me?" I can hear his leer through the phone and try not to gag. Yeah, James took care of his girls but certain things were expected. He mostly focused his attention on the newer girls and now that I had moved, and I was less accessible, things had definitely improved. He is very possessive of us. He has said he will never let me go, and I believe him. James is dangerous, absolutely lethal.

"I'm always wet for you, sugar. I'll drop off the cash tomorrow night on my way out. Does that work?" The one thing dependable about James, money will always distract him from sex.

"Yeah, that should work. Most of the girls aren't doing well tonight, so it's probably best if you head home, anyway." _Thank God, permission to be home. _Like anyone would be out in this. Well, I would if he insisted. An angry James is not someone to argue with. "I may have a job for you, too. Call you tomorrow with the details."

_Great._ "I can't wait to hear your voice again, James, and I'll see you in my dreams." _God, I hate flirting with this pig of a man. But, that's the way it is._

I hear him chuckle as he ends the call. A happy James means presents and good times. I wonder briefly who needs an escort this time. I clean up well, don't do drugs and actually know which fork is for the salad, so if a gentleman needs an escort, it's typically Rose or I who gets the job. What can I say? I can be what any man wants, any time. All men want the same thing whether they have a personal driver for their Rolls or don't even own a car. And my talent is making them happy, even if just for a moment.

I try Rose next but my call goes to her voice mail. I let her know that I'm home and to call or stop by when she's free. Rose and I met on the streets, both homeless with nowhere to go. We tried hooking on our own but were caught by James in his territory. We didn't know there were rules and James said he would be "nice" and "take care of us." At first, it was great. James gave us clothes and food and a place to sleep. He expected us to walk the streets, but we were already doing that without the benefits of showers and a warm bed, so this was better. James started visiting my room after a couple of weeks, but he was gentler and kinder than any client I had. Rose and I concluded early on, the nicer we were, the nicer he was and that's how it's been for the last couple of years. Not where I pictured myself three years ago but I'm healthy and alive, so I feel I can't complain much. If I met anyone from my previous life, they probably wouldn't even recognize me anymore. _And that's probably for the best._

I grab my tea, add some milk, and head to the couch for a little TV and relaxation. Of course, at this time of night, there's nothing but infomercials and bad movies, so I turn it off. I pick up my latest find from the library and settle in to read for a bit. Jane Austen always lets me escape to a world of family and happiness. The troubles of her characters always seem so light and trivial compared to my world. When I read these books I pretend that my life's troubles are equally trivial.

My cell phone signals I have a text and I smile knowing it's Rose.

**whazzup, h00r ~R**  
**  
at home, stop by? -b**

**sure. on 2nd, be there in 5. ~R**

Rose must be doing well. The customers on 2nd typically pay better than where I was tonight. Rose and I used to work the same street but we soon found it was better to work separately. Neither of us could watch the other catch a john. It wasn't jealousy, just a need to protect the one we care about.

Soon, I hear knocking at my door and I let Rose into my apartment. She wraps me in her arms and kisses my cheek loudly. _Wonder what she's on?_

"Bella! What are you doing home? Have you talked to Boss Man? Did you clear this with him? Did you get caught in the rain? I was inside so it didn't stop me, but it's still raining so I got a little wet on the way over. I told you to pack an umbrella, but I'm assuming you didn't because you look like a drowned rat. I was hoping..."

I can't take anymore and clap my hand onto Rosalie's mouth. Her pupils are dilated and she's almost vibrating in place. I'm not sure she actually took a breath during that whole rambling speech. "Rose. Calm the fuck down. What did you take?"

She knows I'm not judgmental. I try not to take drugs, but I understand the appeal. It's really just another way for James or other men to control us, but Rose never sees it that way. "It was just a couple of little pills. Nothing to get your thong in a twist about." She waves her hand at me dismissively.

I shake my head but know there's nothing I can do about it. She takes the free drugs and forgets about life for a while. Might not be the worst idea she's had, really.

We head into the living room and she sits down on the couch next to me. "So, how was your night, Bella-bear?"

"Fine. Boring. Until it started to rain and a nice guy offered me a ride." If only I could see him again. _Don't think that way. You know why it could never be._

"Judging from that smile, I would say he's hot?" Rose is nothing if not perceptive, even incapacitated as she was, but I think a blind man could tell I was a bit smitten.

"Yeah, you could say that. Fuck-hot. And a gentleman. Who knew those even existed any more?" I notice Rosie looking at me intently. "But I didn't give him my real name and I had him drop me off 2 blocks from here. So, really, he won't be able to find me. No worries."

Although Rose's eyes are glassy and don't seem to be focusing on my face, I can still see the concern there. "Well, it's probably for the best. Boss man would freak if you saw a non-paying guy. Remember rule number two, nothing on the side."

_Nothing on the side._ I know she's right and that's the reason I took so many precautions tonight. James' rule covered both jobs and men, and it's the only one I don't have a problem following. Especially after last time. All men are the same. Any guy I would have on the side would only want to get off and leave. Just like everyone else. _Maybe he's different._ Great, first my pessimistic inner voice wants me to run away from him and now it wants me to give him a chance. Schizophrenic much?

I'm about to spill all the details to Rose but her eyes are half-closed and she looks like she's about to fall over. I lead her to the bedroom and help her change into a t-shirt and boxers. She mumbles something about continuing this conversation in the morning and I sleepily agree. We crawl into my bed and she's asleep almost instantaneously, snoring softly. I lie on my back, watching the lights from passing cars dance across my ceiling. I see Jasper's storm cloud eyes before me, staring deeply into mine. He reaches out and strokes my cheek. I can almost feel his fingers gently caressing me and I close my eyes content that he won't find me. Even as I frown that I may never see his perfect face again, I'm determined that I can't and won't put him in danger.

I toss and turn all night dreaming of Jasper. Impossible dreams of him wanting me, loving me, holding me, protecting me. I wake to sunlight streaming across the bed and Rose curled against my chest. I nudge her gently and she moans as she rolls over. We have to get up and call James for that job he had for us tonight. It would be nice to not walk the streets tonight.

"Rosalie, wake up." I nudge her again and she swipes at my head with her open palm. I duck her easily, flip her onto her back and straddle her waist. I bend over to her face and whisper quietly, "Rosie, it's almost 10. We need to call James. He said he might have a job for us tonight." I remember something about a job and more often than not, Rose and I came as a team, so it's a safe assumption.

At this Rose bucks me off of her and bolts from the bed. "Damn, when did I get to your place, B? That was some good shit last night."

"I think you got here around 12." I call after her as she wanders into the bathroom. "You were here about five minutes before you crashed."

"Like I said, good shit." Her voice is muffled in the bathroom. _Damnit._

"Shit, Rose, are you using my toothbrush again? You know I hate that shit." I rush to the bathroom in time to see her spit in the sink and rinse her mouth. "How do I know where that mouth has been?" I burst out laughing as she licks my toothbrush from end to end, rolling her tongue around the brush. "Dude, that's gross!"

She laughs and hands me the toothbrush, which I promptly throw in the trash. I open a drawer, stick my tongue out at her and take a new toothbrush from my stash. I figure, you can never have too many. We both clean up and change into jeans and t-shirts. No sense getting dolled up now; we'll have to change for tonight anyway.

I notice that it's edging on 11 and decide it's safe to give James a jingle. Rose starts getting out cereal and bowls as I wait patiently for Boss Man to pick up. After he grunts at me in greeting, I cheerily return "Good morning, sunshine! You have a job for us today?"

"Not 'us' this time, B. Just you. Asked for you by name, or whatever." I'm confused as I don't give out my real name, but if he's a repeat customer, James would know who he wanted. "There's a function or some shit he wants to take you to. He'll meet you at McCarty's around 8." McCarty's is the Irish bar down the road and where we often meet our clients. "His name is Felix and he wants you in red." _ Oh, shit. Felix._ This just keeps getting better and better.

"Alright, James, I'll be there. But I'm not doing any of that freaky shit. Did you hear what he asked Jess to do? No way, no how." I can't help but put a little venom in my voice. I know I may be crossing the line, but I'm sure I won't do most of the things Felix may ask of me. That guy was a total sexual deviant, which is saying a lot coming from a hooker.

"Bitch, you will do exactly what you are told and paid to do. You don't get to judge what's freaky shit. You get me?" I have to move the phone away from my head he's so loud. I can almost picture the veins popping out of his forehead.

Apparently, I pushed a little too hard. "Honey, I will do everything to make Felix's night unforgettable and have him begging for more," I cooed. "Freaky shit actually turns me on, and from what I hear, Jess is a prude." I hope I'm saying the right things to calm him down. This could turn very bad, very quickly.

"Damn straight, you will. If he's begging for more, make sure he pays you first." _Asshole. Seriously, that's what he's worried about._

"I never forget the rules, J. No worries." He ends the call and I slouch against the kitchen cupboard. Rose is eating her cereal slowly, gazing into the bowl with scrunched eyebrows.

"Rose? What is it?" I cover her hand in mine and give it a small squeeze.

"Felix, eh? Want me to stand by?" She glances up at me and I see the worry in her eyes.

"Nah, I'll be fine. We've taken how many self defense courses? Anyway, Felix wouldn't dare hurt me; he's too scared of James." Even I don't feel that confident in my words, but I have to believe James will take care of me. After all, without James, where would I be?

"You're probably right," Rose sighs. "But I'm sticking nearby just in case. Text me with the address when you know where you're going."

"Okay, promise. Now help me pick out the dress to wear. James said red."

After Rose helps me choose my dress, heels, accessories and hair style, she walks home to get ready for tonight. Before she leaves, she makes me renew my promise to text her with the address. Although I don't think Felix will try anything, it eases my worries knowing she'll be close by. Done with my essential tasks for the day, I run a bath to relax and let images of Jasper flood my brain.

As the hot water is loosening all my pained muscles, I imagine Jasper's long fingers massaging my shoulders while he kisses my neck. My own hands are tugging on my nipples and I feel a jolt of heat through my groin. I tentatively reach to touch my throbbing clit in wonder. _I can't even recall the last time I was turned on, let alone wanting to cum._ That thought saddens me for a moment, but I'm quickly distracted by picturing Jasper's face between my legs. I begin lightly stroking my swollen clit and swirl another finger around my opening. I can feel the tightening in my stomach and a flush across my skin. I picture Jasper guiding his thick cock to my hot entrance and slowly thrusting into me. I feel my release pulse through me and I groan aloud, yelling Jasper's name. I lean back against the edge of the tub, riding out the orgasm and wishing this could be real or possible. It's not safe to have him in my life, and I must be content that we can only be together in my fantasies.

The water is rapidly cooling so I pull the plug and grab a fluffy towel. I still have several hours before I need to get ready for Felix, so I catch up on laundry and continue with my book for the afternoon. As I'm basking in this lazy Saturday, I sigh deeply. I miss lazy Saturdays. It's a remnant of my previous life that I try desperately to hold onto. Most often I'm recovering from a late Friday and planning for Saturday night with barely enough time to sleep.

After a couple more cups of tea and several chapters of the book, I have to get ready for Felix. I carefully pin my hair into an extravagant updo, deciding to go with brunette tonight. I perform that miracle that is me applying makeup to myself, pull on my dress, necklace and grab my small clutch purse. Rose chose some daring heels for me, but they really do make the outfit, so I tie the straps around my ankles and pray that I don't fall. On my way out the door, I take one more glance in the mirror and I'm happy with the result. Tonight, I don't feel like a whore. I can pretend I'm a girl going on a date. _Just with payment at the end._ Sometimes, I wish that nasty voice would keep to itself.

McCarty's bar is only a two block walk and I arrive a little before eight. My favorite bartender, Emmett, is wiping down some glasses when I enter and he sends me a quick smile. He knows what I do but tries hard to ignore it. He won't speak to me tonight because he knows I'm waiting for a client. I order a seven & seven and sip it slowly, waiting for Felix to arrive. I feel large hands encircle my waist and I jump slightly before I can stop myself. I turn on the stool and place my knees on either side of Felix's thighs.

Batting my eyelashes, I lean in and purr against his ear. "Hello, Felix. You look like something I could eat."

"My God, Beth. I was hoping you would be a good girl. You even wore red. I've got something you can snack on whenever you want." He licks my neck behind my ear and I suppress a shudder of revulsion.

"I'm the best girl." I feel my voice shaking and try to sound stronger. "You won't be disappointed. In fact, you'll be begging for more."

His hands are kneading my ass as I talk and I feel a bit of bile rise in my throat. I quickly down the rest of my whiskey to rid my mouth of the acidic taste and try to push Felix back so I can stand up. Instead, he lifts me off the chair and crushes me to him. I can feel his hard arousal through his trousers as he sets me on my feet. He turns me so I can walk in front of him, and he follows closely behind me to the door, pressing himself into me at every opportunity. As we exit the bar, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear.

"The last girl learned the hard way not to say 'no' to me. I hope you won't need that lesson as well. On second thought, maybe I do."

His grip tightens on my arm as he slowly traces my neck with the back of his hand. I feel my throat constrict and my heart clench. _And Rosie won't be there to help me._ _Why didn't I listen to her again?_

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**A/N: So, what do you think??? I feel it's been done a million times, but I heard the song on the radio on my way to work and was inspired. I will work in a couple more Police songs into the story as I feel they are appropriate, but "Roxanne" is the main theme. The city is completely fictional, so don't get hung up on the roads or places I mention. Thanks so much to my betas from Project Beta for keeping my punctuation in line and helping with the flow.**


	2. Every Little Thing She Does

**Lyrical Melodrama Story Contest**

**Name of story: Nothing on the Side**

**Pen name: bmango**

**Song story is inspired by: "Roxanne"**

**Artist: The Police**

**Category: Newbie**

**Main Pairing: Jasper/Bella**

**POV: Bella and Jasper**

**To read the rest of the entries, go to the Lyrical Melodrama Story Contest C2 on the website/forum.**

**If you want to see the rules for this contest, go to the website.**

**If you have any questions about the contest, contact them either via PM or their email:**

**competitions(at)thewriterscoffeeshop(dot)com**

**or go to **

**www(dot)thewriterscoffeeshop(dot)com**

**Disclaimer: S Meyer owns Twilight. I have a yellow raincoat but no galoshes.**

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Every little thing she does is magic  
Everything she do just turns me on  
~"Every Little Thing She Does" The Police

***************************************

JPOV

_Could my day be any fucking worse?_ I had a 24-hour shift in the ER, which is normally a good thing. I love my job: working against time to save a person's life is one of the best highs. This shift has been full of stomach aches and small lacerations requiring a couple of stitches. The most exciting case was a homeless man who needed a place to sleep, so he faked abdominal pain. Nothing an intern couldn't handle and nothing at all to get my blood pumping for the whole night. On top of that, I found Tanya, the nurse I had been dating semi-regularly, in an on-call room in a compromising position with a doctor that wasn't me. At this point, I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. _What else could fucking go wrong tonight?  
_  
I just need to get out of this hospital for the next couple days and relax. After changing out of my scrubs, I trudge down the stairs and out into the night. _Fuck, it's raining. Why don't I ever get used to the constant rain?_ I was born and raised in the dry heat of Texas and the perpetual wet of this town still somehow surprises me. I pick up the pace and jog over to my car. Fucking dad-mobile. I need a serious upgrade but it's just not a priority right now. I think my dad may actually drive a better car, and he's a desk jockey.

I climb in the car and start it quickly. I need to get the heat pumping in this place. It's not exactly cold, but my rain soaked shirt is making me shiver. I decide to drive through downtown and look for Mama Hale's, a pizza place recommended to me by one of the residents. Supposedly, it's the best place to grab a slice on the east side, and good pizza is exactly what I need right now.

After a few wrong turns, I am fairly certain that I'm in the right neighborhood. Peering past the slapping windshield wipers, I spot the back-lit sign of the restaurant ahead. I'm about to turn off the car but then my breath catches in my throat as a woman passes me wearing a barely-there top and a short skirt accenting her legs that go on for miles. She doesn't have an umbrella but walks down the street with purpose in the driving rain, her short blond hair bouncing around her shoulders. I pull forward and slow down as she approaches the corner. I do realize it may look inappropriate, picking up a girl from the corner, but I still stop along the curb. My momma would kick my ass if I let any woman walk outside in this downpour, especially at night and alone.

I lower the passenger side window and she bends down to look through the opening, giving me an unplanned view of her amazing tits. I'm momentarily speechless, but quickly regain my composure, although I can barely get my voice past my lips. Her face is pale below her bleached blond bangs and her eyes...God, her eyes. I could drown in the chocolate brown of her eyes and wouldn't want to be saved.

I offer her a ride to wherever she needs to go and, although hesitant, she accepts eventually. She climbs into my car and quickly gives me directions to her home, which I'm pleasantly surprised is near my place. I notice the cold again and I'm quickly overwhelmed by her scent as I turn up the heat. Actually, the combined stench of cigarette smoke and cheap cologne rolls off her skin, but underneath is the faint scent of freesia. I'm struck by the sudden need to ask her a million questions and get to know her, but she doesn't seem the talkative type. Her knee bounces while she fiddles with the hem of her skirt and she keeps her eyes focused on the road ahead. I glance at her at every opportunity, trying to memorize her wide dark eyes, her luscious lips.

Apparently she doesn't like being admired as she suddenly yells at me, "What?"

"Um...well... I just wanted to ask your name?" _Dammit, I can't even ask her a simple question without sounding like an idiot. What is wrong with me tonight?_

She stares at me for a couple seconds; clearly this was an unexpected answer to her question.

"My name??"

I nod but she still doesn't answer. As I'm about to tell her to just forget it, she seems to pull herself together.

"I'm Roxanne. And who might you be, my savior from the rain?" She winks at me and I'm speechless again. I opt for my panty-dropping smile, or so I've been told, and try to be smooth. _Yeah, right._

"I'm Jasper, and it's my pleasure to rescue such a beautiful damsel in distress." _What the fuck? Am I Sir Lancelot? Good going, Jazz. Way to work the lady._

Her reaction is anything but panty-dropping. She glances up as if she's just noticing we're near her destination. She waves at the curb distractedly.

"Anywhere along here is fine."

I pull over along the curb and notice that it's actually raining harder, if that's even possible. She turns to me and smiles sweetly.

"Thank you, Jasper. You really did rescue me." She grabs her bag and opens the door. Suddenly, I get the feeling if she leaves the car, I won't ever see her again. My heart clenches at the thought. She can't leave. I reach out to keep her and grab onto her wrist. As soon as my fingers make contact, I feel a tingle that radiates through my body. She turns back toward me, startled and defensive.

"I...uh...just wanted to say it was nice to meet you, ma'am, and I hope I can see you again." I don't mean to hurt or upset her and I release her wrist quickly. I immediately miss the contact as the buzz fades. She glances back up at me and I see deep sadness in her chocolate eyes.

"I don't think that's such a good idea. But if I see you, I see you."

She gathers her bag and quickly exits the car without looking back. I lower the window and call after her as she jogs up the steps into the rundown apartment building. She never acknowledges me as she quickly ducks through the door and slams it forcefully. I feel a weight settle on my heart and I wonder if I'll ever see her again. At least I know where she lives and I can find her if I want to. I don't know what it is about Roxanne, but she's different from any girl I've ever met. I want, no, I need to see her again. _Great stalker tendencies there, boy._

I need a plan.

Immediately, I think of Emmett, my best friend since high school. He always has a strategy for wooing the ladies. As I pull away from the curb slowly, leaving Roxanne behind with a piece of my heart, I dial Emmett and leave him a message.

"Hey man. I hate to call you this late but you're always up anyway. I need to talk. Call me whenever you get this."

Emmett's a bartender at a local dive, and is most likely working tonight. The bar closes in a couple hours and, after the night I've had, I know I'll be awake for a while anyway.

My phone chirps my message alert and I quickly flip it open.

**At bar til close, but it's slow. Come by to chat. ~Em**

**Be there in 5. ~J**

I drive straight to McCarty's, only a few blocks away, and I'm soon settling myself at the bar in front of a grinning Emmett. He's flirting with a young red head who is blatantly staring at his huge chest barely contained in his black uniform t-shirt. He reaches to grab a clean glass from the sink, drying it quickly and saunters over to me.

"So," he begins. "What's so important, bro? What happened?" He automatically pours my drink of choice, Aberlour single malt, neat.

"Jesus, I don't even know where to start. My shift was long and boring and I caught Tanya fucking one of the other attendings." I hear a small gasp and look up to see Emmett feigning shock, eyes wide, and his fingers held over his open mouth.

"Naw! You don't say? That slut was actually cheating on you? And she told you she wouldn't do that anymore. The shock and horror."

The sarcasm is a little thick, but I see his point. I lean over the bar to smack him playfully on the shoulder, but he ducks quickly out of my way.

"Yeah, you told me that this would happen and I guess, I have no one to blame but myself." I hang my head in my hands, elbows on the bar. I really thought she would be different. She said she would be different.

"Are you kidding me?" He sidles back up to me and leans over. "Seriously, dude. This isn't your fault at all. This is all on her and the douche she was fucking."

"Which was me until tonight, Em. I should've seen this coming."

"You're just too nice of a guy. All the bitches take advantage of you and it shouldn't be like that. You didn't see it coming because you didn't think anybody would do that to you. We need to find you a nice girl."

"Actually, that brings me back to why I needed to talk to you." I start fidgeting with the napkin under my drink. I want Emmett's advice, I'm not sure I want to subject myself to the probable teasing. I decide that I just need to get this off my chest.

"On my drive from work, I decided to stop by Mama Hale's for some pizza..."

"They have the best pizza slices on this side of town!" Emmett interrupts me gleefully. "What kind did you get? Their Greek pizza is amazing." He tilts his head back, takes a deep breath and closes his eyes in remembrance. _ Must be __**really**__ good pizza._

"Uh...I never made it into the actual building. There was this girl...er, woman, walking down the street with the most amazing legs...," I trail off, continuing to shred the napkin. I look up and I notice Emmett is practically vibrating in front of me.

"A woman with legs, huh? Legs are good start. That's where you're going to stop? You can't leave me hanging like this. Tell me you at least got her number!" I shake my head slightly. "Seriously, what am I going to do with you?!" He throws up his hands in exasperation.

"No, I didn't get her number. But I gave her a ride back to her place. It was raining and she didn't have an umbrella or jacket," I add, frowning slightly. "Actually, she wasn't particularly dressed for the weather. Very short skirt and thin blouse."

"Dude! Did you pick up a hooker?" His eyes are wide in amazement. My frown deepens. _Is she a hooker?_

"Uh...I don't think so. Just a girl."

"Well, that area is kinda known for a lot of girls that walk the streets, if you know what I mean. And you said she was scantily dressed." He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

I'm beginning to put the pieces together, but I still don't want to believe it. _I picked up a hooker on a street corner? How stupid can I be?_

"She did seem nervous about something. Told me her name is Roxanne, but that it was better if we didn't see each other again."

"Roxanne? Seriously?" I'm obviously not following his logic so he continues. "I bet every one of 'em says her name is Roxanne. You know, like the song."

I groan as I realize this all makes sense and Emmett pats me on the shoulder in commiseration. Why did I think a normal, nice girl would be on the street, in the rain, wearing next to nothing, at that time of night, and in that neighborhood? My luck has gone to complete shit tonight. I take a large swallow of whiskey and grimace as it burns down my throat.

"I actually know a female escort. Technically, she's a hooker, but high class, ya know. She comes in here to wait for her clients to pick her up. Always looks like a million bucks. She's really sweet, too. Don't know her name, but she told me to just call her B." Emmett has a wistful expression on his face, and I wonder how he could be so friendly to a call-girl. I mean, seriously, what type of person sells her body?

"But how could any smart girl shove her self-respect out the door like that? For money? For drugs? I could never understand it." I shake my head in shock at how this has turned around.

"Dude, you could have a bit more empathy. I'm sure she doesn't want this life. It's just making the best of a really fucked-up situation. She's had some serious lemons thrown her way. Mostly she just seems sad and lonely."

"I don't know, Em. It seems to me, if she really wanted to change her life, she would." I have little patience for people who expect help without first helping themselves.

At this Emmett, slams his fist on the bar and glares at me. I'm taken aback by the ferocity in his face and voice.

"Why are you being so disrespectful to her? You don't know anything about her life or her struggles," he growls in my face. "Everything has been handed to you. Yeah, you haven't had the perfect life, but you've never had to fight for it. Never had to wonder if you would eat anything today or tomorrow. I've never been that desperate, but I've met a lot who have. The decisions you make while hungry aren't usually the smartest, but you could probably learn a thing or two from them."

"I _have _met them Emmett. They visit me often in the ER for three things only." I tick them off on my fingers as I glare back at him. "They get the shit kicked out of 'em by their pimp or 'date.' They are strung out from any number of drugs and either have O.D.'ed or are seriously on their way. Or, lastly, and my most favorite, they are pregnant or have an STD. A perk of their so-called lifestyle. So, tell me, out of that life, what is there to empathize with? These ladies know what their lives are and they choose not to change. I have no respect for that. Perhaps Roxanne was right and it isn't a good idea for me to know her."

Emmett shakes his head at me and he walks toward the other end of the bar. Even as I finish my tirade, I think of those wide brown eyes and my reasoning falters. My excuses seem weak. Maybe my prejudices are wrong. She seemed so real, more so than any woman I had met before.

"Em, don't walk away." He pauses and turns towards me. "I'm sorry I'm taking this out on you. I've just had a really long and terrible day and needed to get some of this out of my system. I just know what I see and experience every day and it pisses me off that I didn't see it with Roxanne." _That, once again, a woman has tricked me._

"Maybe you didn't see it, J, 'cause it wasn't there."

I sigh and down the rest of my whiskey. Emmett looks at me with a knowing grin on his face and I know I've been forgiven for my outburst.

"I just need to wrap my head around this, Em. I'm not entirely sure why I care. I obviously did not have the same effect on her."

"There's no explaining it sometimes, bro. It just happens that way."

"Is that some wise bartender crap? Does that shit actually get you laid or something?" I laugh a little and feel the tension between us finally dissipate.

"Yeah, it usually does. Must be because you're a dude." He laughs with me and turns to fill an order for another patron.

I consider ordering another whiskey, but I don't want to push my luck for driving my sorry ass home. I decide against the drink and I wave to Emmett on my out.

"Let's meet at the gym at 10:00 tomorrow, bro!" He yells after me. I give him a thumbs up to show I'm in and step into the cool night air. The rain has stopped, so when I start my car, I lower the window to feel the wind. The breeze in my hair feels like fingers gently caressing my scalp. I imagine how Roxanne's tiny fingers would curl into my hair as we kissed for the first time, her full lips pressed against mine. And with that, I'm instantly hard. _Jesus, the _wind_ is making me hard. I need a shower._

I arrive home in no time and immediately start the shower once I'm inside my apartment. I strip quickly and duck under the warming water. I remember the rain cascading around Roxanne as I approached her in my car; the water streaming down her face while she waited to cross the street. I picture her lips, her kisses, and how her tongue would feel licking and sucking my cock. I take my now rock hard cock in my hand and gently stroke it, gasping at how sensitive it is. I imagine Roxanne on her knees before me, lips taut, gazing up at me through her long wet lashes. Remembering her dark eyes and picturing them hooded with lust causes my hand to speed up. I can feel the pressure building quickly and this may be a record time for me. In my mind, Roxanne licks around the head of my cock and moans as she engulfs me again. I toss my head back and groan through my release.

Suddenly, reality comes crashing around me as I recall my conversation with Emmett. She's a hooker. A goddamn whore. This is the same situation as Tanya, only worse. How can I have a lasting relationship with a woman like that? Answer, I can't. No one can, unless they pay her regularly. With that cheery thought, I finish washing myself quickly, climb out of the shower and roughly towel myself dry. In my room, I throw on a pair of boxers and crawl into bed, immediately falling into a dreamless sleep.

I wake suddenly to sunlight streaming in my window and roll over, groaning, to look at the clock. It reads 9:45. I start to roll back over but bolt upright, remembering my plan to meet Emmett at 10:00.

"Shit, shit, shit." I swear continuously as I stumble around my room, pulling on shorts and a t-shirt before rushing into the bathroom to finish getting ready. I call Em on my way out the door at 9:52. I hate being late, but if I know Em, and I really do, he'll be even later. And he'll be smirking as he saunters in. The call goes to his voicemail so I just hang up. I will be to the gym soon and it won't make any difference.

I pull up to the building just as Emmett is climbing down from his monstrosity of an SUV. How they allow those gas-guzzling trucks to still be on the road, I'll never know. He says it's safer for him, which I'm sure is true, I just don't know about the rest of the people on the road.

We grunt our greetings to each other on the way through the doors. Obviously, neither one of us has had time for coffee yet. We take a right into the weight room and start our normal routine, during which I try to keep up with Emmett while he makes fun of me. Not that I'm a weakling, but the guy is fucking ripped. He could probably bench small cars. Easily. Me? Well, I'll stick to the weights, thank you. I don't need to be huge, but I like being toned and being able to hold my own against a strung out lunatic that needs stitches and is fighting with the ER nurses.

About 30 minutes into our workout and I start feeling human again. I know Emmett will never say anything, but I feel I need to clear the air. I'm spotting him and as he's grunting with an inordinate weight on his shoulders, I take deep breath and decide to dive right in.

"Em, I'm sorry for getting so worked up last night. I needed sleep and to think about things a bit. That woman just threw me for a loop and even after realizing that...she may be a..." I pause. _I can't even __**say**__ 'prostitute' now?_

"Hooker. Whore. Slut. Cum guzzler. Harlot. Street walker. Lady of the night..." he lists, while counting on his fingers.

"Jeez, Em, just stop!!" I glower at Emmett to stop the tirade and he grins widely at me. I'm both appalled and slightly jealous at his apparent repertoire of synonyms for prostitute. "I just can't get her out of my head. The more I think about her, the more I want to see her again, and we both know that can't happen. She has a...profession...that would get in the way, so to speak." I think my face has turned eight shades of scarlet and I'm not entirely sure why.

"Yeah, she has a 'profession' as you so daintily called it. Why would that prevent you from seeing her again exactly?"

"How could that work? Just ask her to quit her job? Dating a hooker or dating an unemployed chick. These are both such appealing options." I roll my eyes at him and gesture helplessly with my hands.

"But she could be _her_, J. You know, the one you've been looking for. Who gives a fuck what she does for a living?" Although that may be true in Emmett's world, as a doctor, and one who wants to run a hospital at some point, I have to consider these things.

"I don't know, Em." I sigh and shrug slightly. "She's just taken over all my thought processes and I can't even think straight anymore. I'll give it a couple days and try to figure this out."

I lean over to help him lower the weights and we start towards the machines. My phone starts vibrating and I check the caller ID before answering. _Shit, it's the hospital. It's my day off, what the fuck could they want?_

"Yeah, this is Dr. Whitlock." I can't keep the annoyance out of my voice. _Can't I have one day without dealing with them?_

"Um, I'm sorry to bother you Dr. Whitlock, but Dr. Pendergast won't be coming in tonight and we need you to cover for him." _Great. First the little prick gets caught with Tanya and now I have to pick up his fucking shift._ I sigh heavily and rub my face with my hand.

"Sure, sure. When do I need to be in?"

"Around seven, if that's good for you." The voice is meek and I wonder which intern got the short straw and had to make this call.

"Yeah, I'll be there." I close my phone and frown as I turn back to Emmett. He raises his eyebrows at me in question.

"It was the fucking hospital. Apparently, the asshole who was caught with Tanya last night won't be making it in for his shift tonight and I was asked to cover it. Could my life get any more depressing?"

"I suppose, you could be in love with a girl who was completely unavailable." He winks at me and I know he's teasing, but I feel a twinge. Of what? Guilt? Remorse? Who cares at this point, I'm definitely in too deep.

"She might as well be. Regardless of her job, I have no way to contact her unless I stalk her street." I sigh and my shoulders sag as that reality hits me. I realize I _want_ to find her. I need a plan. No, I need to find her. _This plan sucks.  
_  
"Emmett, I have to get going, but I'll call you later." I grab my towel off the bench and go take a quick shower as Emmett finishes his workout.

As I trot out to my car, I try to picture where I dropped her off the night before. _Jesus, has it only been 12 hours?_ I drive past the pizza joint, take a right at the next block, and strain to remember her words of direction. My palms are starting to sweat. I could actually find her. I'm excited, nervous, and nauseous all at the same time. My heart thumps heavily as I turn onto the next block. It's difficult to tell without the rain and darkness, but I'm almost positive this is the right area. I find an empty space along the curb and stop the car. After a couple deep breaths, I open my door and climb out. Once on the sidewalk, I have no clue which building is hers. They all look the fucking same. I groan in frustration and run my hands through my hair as I look one way then the other.

Well, here goes nothin'.

I walk up the stairs in front of me and look at the names by the buzzers. No one with the first name that starts with R. I do the same at the next couple buildings before reality starts creeping up on me. 

_What if she has a roommate and her name isn't on the door? What the hell am I doing? Even if I find the right building, she might not be there or want to see me. God, I need to get out of here. She said it wasn't a good idea to see her again. I should just follow her advice._

I stumble down the stairs, emotionally and physically exhausted. I just need to get back home and think this through. I drove out here without any idea of what I was doing or going to do. When do I ever enter a situation without a plan and a backup plan? She's changing me already. I briefly smirk at that thought, and then climb in the car shaking my head slightly.

By the time I enter my apartment, my plans include not looking for Roxanne and definitely not thinking about her anymore. With this new determination, I make myself a quick lunch and think about her big brown eyes and the look of ecstasy I'm sure I could put on her face with my large cock slipping in and out of her wet pussy.

_Wow, I followed that plan for all of 15 minutes._

I growl at my lack of willpower and because I am now straining hard against my jeans...again. I don't want to acknowledge the large problem in my pants, but the throbbing pain is making all thoughts impossible. I turn on the TV to the Food Network as a distraction and watch some inane show explaining the science behind meringue.

I spend the next several hours cleaning my apartment, catching up on laundry and generally relaxing before my unplanned shift at the hospital. Before I know it, it's six o'clock and I need to eat some dinner and get ready for work. I eat cold pizza while I sit on the couch and try to prepare myself for tonight. The nurses are horrible gossip-mongers as it is, and this juicy story about Tanya will be around for a while.

When I arrive at the hospital, slightly before my shift, I wave to the nurses in the ER on my way to the locker room. As I pass, I try to ignore them, but I can hear them already talking behind me and sigh loudly. This is going to be a long night.

After changing into my scrubs, I stop by the nurses' station to get the chart for my first patient and dive into my night. I try to ignore the glances and whispers and walk calmly over to my patient's curtain. Pulling it aside, I step in and greet the worried mother in front of me trying to calm her screaming child that has a high fever and a cough. After that, I stitch a laceration from a tumble off a bicycle, cast a broken arm, and stabilize an acute appendicitis case until the surgeons take her to the operating room.

I'm leaning against a gurney in the hall outside the ER, taking a break and having a cup of coffee. I grimace while taking another sip of the sludge that most likely has been sitting in the pot since the morning. Suddenly, the doors next to me bang open and a nurse races out scanning the hallway.

"There you are, Dr. Whitlock. We have a walk-in emergency but the patient is still unconscious. Her companion is becoming...a problem."

I hurriedly dump my coffee in the trash and follow the nurse back into the ER. We are greeted by hysterical screaming as we near the triage area.

"Who do I have to fuck around here to get my friend seen by an actual doctor and not one of these driveling shit-for-brains interns?! I know how this works and I want an attending!"

I round the corner and come face to face with a tall strikingly beautiful blond standing protectively in front of a pale form on the bed behind her. Over her shoulder, I can barely glimpse long, dark brown hair fanned on the pillow and torn red satin.

"I'm Dr. Whitlock, the attending on duty tonight. How may I help you, Miss..." I look into her startling blue eyes and all I see is fear and concern for her friend.

"I'm Rose," she snaps at me. "Just fucking help my friend. I think he...I mean, she must have knocked her head on something."

She moves to the side of the bed as I approach the woman lying there. She has a large gash across her hairline at her right temple and blood covering over half her face and running into her hair. Her lip is split and I notice some bruising on her cheekbone and her pale forearms. _Great, defensive wounds._

"So, Rose," I begin, still focusing on the patient in front of me. "What's your friend's name? And who was using her as a punching bag?"

"Her name is Bella." The words are chopped short and she's almost growling through her teeth. "As for what happened, I'm not sure. I found her like this."

For some reason I don't believe her, but right now I have to focus on Bella. I unhook my stethoscope from my neck and lean in to start my exam when a thought occurs to me and I address Rose again.

"So, you don't know how long she's been unconscious either, I'm assuming." She shrugs noncommittally, and I turn to the disapproving nurse behind me. "I'm going to need scrub, alcohol, iodine, lots of gauze, and the smallest suture you can find. But, first, we need to take her for a CT to check for a concussion."

As I'm talking to the nurse, I hear a loud groan behind me and I turn back to Bella. She opens her eyes slowly, wincing slightly.

I'm frozen, panic rising in my throat. My hands are shaking and the blood leaves my face.

Her eyes. The eyes that have been haunting me since last night are staring back at me. My dreams and reality are crashing together and, once again, I don't have a plan or a backup plan. My whole world and all my preconceptions collapse as I fall under her gaze.

************************************

**A/N: Big big thank yous to my beta mhl1115 (hugs and kisses!!) and Project Team Beta. You help me with my horrible comma fear and with making the story flow better.**

**Thanks for reading and please press that little button down there and leave me a little review!!! Reviews are better than naked Jasper in the shower. OK, not really...**

**Also visit me for story discussions and to see the other entries into the Lyrical Melodrama Story contest at (replace (dot) with actual dot): thewriterscoffeeshop(dot)com/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=28&t=75**


	3. King of Pain

**Lyrical Melodrama Story Contest**

**Name of story: Nothing on the Side**

**Pen name: bmango**

**Song story is inspired by: "Roxanne"**

**Artist: The Police**

**Category: Newbie**

**Main Pairing: Jasper/Bella**

**POV: Bella and Jasper** (guest POV: Rosalie)

**To read the rest of the entries, go to the Lyrical Melodrama Story Contest C2 on the website/forum.**

**If you want to see the rules for this contest, go to the website.**

**If you have**** any**** questions about the contest, contact them either via PM or their email:**

**competitions(at)thewriterscoffeeshop(dot)com**

**or go to **

**www(dot)thewriterscoffeeshop(dot)com**

**  
Disclaimer: S Meyer owns all things Twilight. I just wish she would loan Jasper to me for just a little while. I promise, I'll give him back...**

**See you below.**

*******************

I have stood here before inside the pouring rain  
With the world turning circles running round my brain  
I guess I'm always hoping that you'll end this reign  
But it's my destiny to be the king of pain

~"King of Pain" The Police

*******************

BPOV

As we exit the bar, Felix grasps my elbow tightly and leads me to a black sedan waiting at the curb, with a driver holding the rear door open. I wonder briefly what kind of fancy party he's hired me for. Felix greets the driver briefly as he helps me into the back seat and climbs in behind me. Immediately, he pulls me into his side, his left hand fisting around the red satin of my dress as the other inches past my thigh high stockings.

"Oh, you naughty girl. You are such a tease," he mumbles as he leans into my neck to nibble along my ear.

"It's only teasing, baby, if I don't intend to deliver." I turn towards him, sliding my hands down his broad chest inside his jacket to his belt, languidly unhooking the buckle. "Do we have enough time? And do you have the money?"

"Oh, B, we'll make time. And the envelope is in my pocket," Felix pants while encouraging my exploration.

"Well then, relax and enjoy, big boy. Just please don't touch my hair until after the party."

I scoot my ass back and lean forward as I unbutton his pants and lower the zipper while palming his meager erection through the fabric. He lifts his hips slightly as I slip his boxers and pants down enough to free his cock. I lap the pre-cum from the slit and swirl my tongue around the head, earning a moan from Felix. Slipping my hand beneath the base, I gently massage his balls as I suck him into the back of my throat, humming around it as I hollow out my cheeks. I vigorously pump his throbbing erection with my slick hand as I manipulate the head with my tongue. His moans increase and he grips my waist and the door as I feel his muscles tense. _ Thank God, he's a quick one._

"Oh, Beth...I'm..." he growls and stiffens around me as his hot cum shoots into my mouth. I thankfully swallow all of it and lick him clean before tucking his flaccid dick back into his pants. While I buckle his belt, he runs a finger along my jaw and I look up at him through my lashes. He has a satisfied smirk and I relax slightly, knowing I'm doing my job well.

"Beth, you have been a very good girl so far. We're almost to the party, so why don't you get yourself back together and we'll go have a good time."

He pulls a thick envelope from his jacket pocket and I slip it into my clutch purse while smiling up at him. I move back to my side of the car, smooth my dress and hair, and retouch my lipstick.

I'm definitely starting to relax around Felix, but I know I still have to be wary. I have heard rumors about him and none of them are good. In fact, Jess, another of James' girls received a black eye and a busted lip from Felix. She never gave details, but James hasn't stopped Felix from hiring us for the evening, so it might not be that bad. So far, tonight is similar to my other escort experiences: blow job before, look nice, eat dinner, and fuck afterward. But, something keeps tugging at me and won't let me relax completely. Unlike last night, I'm letting my instincts rule tonight. Ignoring them just led to trouble, and I don't need any more trouble.

As the driver pulls up to an extravagant hotel downtown, a bellhop rushes over to open our door and I look around surreptitiously for the red carpet. Felix climbs out first and helps me exit the car. He puts his hand at the small of my back and directs me into the lobby and I notice a welcome sign for the major advertising firms in the city. We continue into a large reception hall with opulent crystal chandeliers dangling from the ceiling and large candelabras on the tables. Intermixed with the patrons in their gowns and tuxedos are impeccably dressed waiters offering champagne and appetizers.

Felix steers us towards the bar as I snatch a glass of champagne from a passing tray. He orders a dry martini and turns to scan over the room. The bartender hands Felix his glass and he leans over my shoulder.

"Beth, tonight I need you to ooze sophistication and class. These are all potential clients or competitors of my advertising firm, so this is a very big night for me. You are here to help me win them over. Do not fucking disappoint me," he growls into my ear.

I shiver with his unspoken threat. _Don't fuck this up, or else._

For the remainder of the night, I obediently follow Felix's lead. I am charming, demure, and proper while I dine and dance with the best of them. Felix is confident and assured, garnering compliments from many men on his latest conquest; me. I smile appreciatively at every inappropriate comment and wonder how many other bought women are here, be they hookers or wives. _Thank fuck I don't have to do this every night._ As the night wears on, my trepidation about Felix wanes and I start to feel comfortable around him. I realize my complete exhaustion as we collect our coats and exit the hotel to our waiting sedan. Once again, Felix assists me into the back seat and I try to picture where we will be going for his finale.

He directs the driver into the alley next to the hotel and I begin to get nervous again and a little pissed off. _Don't I deserve a room, potentially a bed even?_ Apparently not. Felix tips the driver and asks him to spend an hour at the hotel bar. As soon as the car door closes, Felix launches himself at me, pawing my dress and yanking my hair.

"Hold up, honey." I struggle to breathe and push him away from my chest slightly. "We can take this slower."

"No, I need you now, you whore. This is what I paid you for." He yanks my hair again and I can't contain the whimper.

He pushes me against the door and roughly lifts my dress above my hips. He frantically begins unbuckling and unbuttoning to free his erect cock with one hand while simultaneously shoving my thong to the side. His thick fingers rip the small strip of lace and grope through my folds.

"Felix, baby. You need protection. I have a variety-"

"No, _baby_," he interrupts with a sneer, pressing himself closer. "I won't be wearing anything. I paid for you and I'm going to have you."

"Felix, I won't fuck you without a condom." I push myself as far away from him as possible, but he grasps my arms tightly, his fingers digging into my flesh. I flinch but keep my voice as steady as possible. "Cover your dick and we can continue, but until then we're not fucking."

"You bitch! You _will_ do as I say!" He screams, his face turning crimson. He reaches back and places a stinging blow across my cheek. My head snaps back and almost hits the window.

"Fuck you, Felix! Back the fuck off!" I start bringing my left leg between us, preparing to kick him off me. "Either put on the fucking condom or get the fuck off of me!"

He growls into my face, lunging forward and I thrust out with my leg. He grunts and screams, "You fucking bitch!"

I see his fist two seconds before it crashes into my face. My head cracks against the glass next to me and the world abruptly disappears.

**0**0**0**0**

RPOV

I don't fucking trust Felix. And I don't care what James says, he shouldn't trust Felix either.

I follow Bella in a cab to the fucking five star hotel. I watch her suck him off in the backseat. Damn, she's improved her skills in that department. That had to be a time record of some sort.

I keep myself busy outside the hotel, only attracting the bellhop's attention once and he only made me cross the street. I should actually consider this part of town more often as I am making some good cash. Apparently, there are quite a few lonely business men at this hotel.

Eventually, Felix and Bella exit the building and he directs her into the waiting car. _Shit._ I race to the sidewalk edge and yell and wave frantically for a cab. Fortunately, the sedan only pulls around the corner and stops. _Felix is an alley cat?_ The driver leaves the car abruptly and returns to the hotel while Felix and Bella stay in the back seat.

I watch from the opposite side of the busy street as he shoves her against the side door and steam begins to cover the windows. I close my eyes to avoid these images as her hand presses against the back window. This is the reason Bella and I never worked the same corner. In theory, we knew what the other was doing, we just couldn't watch it being done. Twisted for sure, but honest.

My head snaps up as I hear yelling and cursing from the car. _Damn, this is not good. _ I dart across the street, already dialing James and ignorant of the cars honking and swerving to avoid me. I watch helplessly as Felix dumps Bella's limp form out of the car, slamming the door and crawling over the front seat. He starts the car and races down the alley, leaving her in a tangled heap of red satin and pale limbs on the ground.

"Fuck, Bella," I curse under my breath and close my phone. I'm race to her side and notice she hasn't moved at all. Her pulse is slow but strong, but she's bleeding fairly heavily from a gash across the left side of her head. I lift her easily into my arms, almost thankful that she never eats. I stumble onto the sidewalk and a cab pulls up quickly.

"Hospital and fucking step on it!" I holler as I drag Bella into the back seat. The cab driver takes one look at Bella's unresponsive, white face and the blood streaming across her forehead and speeds away from the curb.

I hold Bella tightly to my chest and try to stop the bleeding with my shirt as we race through the dark streets. "Hold on, B. Just hold on."

I fumble with my cell phone and quickly try James again. The phone rings and rings and the bastard doesn't answer. "Fuck this shit! Answer, you twat!" I snap the phone shut and decide to just call after I know more. I need to focus on getting Bella to the hospital and in someone's care.

I instruct the cabbie to pull into the emergency entrance and throw some cash at him as I gather Bella to me. I lift her in my arms and run through the automatic doors and waiting room into the sterile space of the ER. Nurses try to block me as I push past them to lay Bella on a bed.

"My friend is bleeding from her fucking head and I need a goddamn doctor in here right now!" I scream at the bitches in my way. A young gangly boy in a short white labcoat with a stethoscope tries to convince me that he's some sort of doctor. I swear, I could have kids older than this ass-wipe.

"I don't think so, you fucking jackass. Get me a real doctor, one of the attendings!" I yell at the cringing intern and the sniveling nurses. _What the hell?_ "Are you fucking kidding me? Who do I have to fuck around here to get my friend seen by an actual doctor and not one of these driveling shit-for-brains interns?! I know how this works and I want an attending!"

Suddenly, a tall gorgeous man with blond hair and piercing eyes joins the crowd and immediately takes command of the situation. He calmly approaches me as the group surrounding me parts to let him through. _This is the one who can help Bella._

He spreads his hands in a gesture of goodwill and looks me in the eyes. "I'm Dr. Whitlock, the attending on duty tonight. How may I help you, Miss..."

"I'm Rose," I can't keep the stress and irritation out of my voice. Someone needs to fucking start examining Bella. "Just fucking help my friend. I think he...I mean, she must have knocked her head on something."

I move from my protective position in front of Bella and he approaches slowly, eying me warily. He glances over her still form and reaches for his stethoscope. I notice the dark bruises starting to form on her arms and face. _Fuck, James, how could you let this happen?_

"So, Rose, what's your friend's name? And who was using her as a punching bag?"

I almost tell him about Felix. Someone has to stop him, but no one would believe the word of a hooker. Instead, I force the words between my teeth, angry that I have to lie. "Her name is Bella. As for what happened, I'm not sure. I found her like this."

I can see the disbelief in his eyes, but I can't help him or Bella right now. I need to call James and he'll take care of the asshole. Dr. Whitlock finally leans over Bella with his stethoscope in his hand, but pauses briefly. He asks me how long she's been out, and I just shrug at him. I could tell him exactly how much time has passed since her head hit the window, but I'm just not in the fucking mood. Something's not right here and I can't figure it out.

Dr. Whitlock continues barking some orders at the nurse who's just standing there like a dumbass. I'm poised to say something snarky, when I hear a small groan and notice Bella coming around. Before I can reach her, she blinks blearily and winces from the pain. Dr. Whitlock turns back to her, freezing like he's seen a ghost. Her eyes slowly focus on the doctor and, as his face pales, I see raw panic etched on her face.

_Shit, __they fucking know each other._

**0**0**0**0**

BPOV

I can hear loud voices close by and my head throbs painfully with each sound. I want to tell them to shut the hell up, but my mouth is dry and my limbs are leaden and unresponsive. Slowly, the throbbing in my head increases to sharp pains and I start to remember my shot-to-hell evening. Smelling the metallic twinge of blood, my temper flares. _Fucking Felix. Damn it, when am I going to listen to my instincts this week?_

I recognize Rose's voice mixing with a low male voice that strikes a cord deep within me. As that voice draws me from my fog, I open my eyes, blinking in the bright white surrounding me. _She took me to the hospital? Fucking whore! Now, we'll have to call James._

A white-coated doctor is standing with his back to me, his voice smoothing the harshness of my pain. I moan at the pain flashing across my skull and immediately regret the noise, wincing at the increased agony. The doctor turns at my feeble noises, and I hope that I'm still unconscious and this is just a dream, because _he_ can't be here. He just can't. Fact is, that no matter how much I want this to be different, I know that this pain in my body cannot be a dream. I stare in horror as he pales, his eyes darting around my face, trying to find traces of the bedraggled girl he met the day before.

"Roxanne?" he questions, his voice cracking and his storm grey eyes widening.

Rose snorts derisively and rolls her eyes. "Dude, you told him your name was Roxanne? How fucking cliché."

I forgot that she was there while I was focused on this dream turned nightmare in front of me. I turn to glare at Rose, but immediately regret the motion as I shudder with a wave of nausea.

"Oh, shut the fuck up. Like you could do better." I want to sound more bitchy, but my voice is small and weak.

She shrugs her shoulders at me, but doesn't look apologetic. I turn back slowly to the doctor, no, Jasper, as he is still gaping at me. I try to smooth my dress, but I quickly realize it is utterly futile. Suddenly, he composes himself and ushers the nurses and interns out of the small space to run errands for him.

He sits on the edge of the bed and leans in closely, his warm breath washing over me as he sighs. I take a slow, deep breath and close my eyes as his scent overwhelms me. _God, I could get used to that._

"Why didn't you tell me you're a..." My eyes flash open and he swallows thickly before continuing. "A prostitute?" He drops his voice, barely whispering the last word. _Seriously? This is his first question? Fuck._

"In the five minute conversation that we had, our occupations didn't really come up. You didn't tell me you were a doctor!" I think that my fantasy man may have a problem with my chosen profession. This is good, then he won't try anything funny like dating or some shit like that. His life will be simpler if he just walks away now. My life will be simpler. _Who the fuck am I kidding?_

He looks back and forth between Rose and me, seemingly lost for words.

"I just thought you were a nice girl-"

"Damn it, Jasper!" I interrupt. "What does it matter what my job is? It's not who I am, just what I do!"

"But it is part of who you are, Bella," he continues, choosing his words carefully. "I became a doctor to help people, to heal people. You became a hooker to..." he trails off, clearly frustrated.

"To what? To help the sexually frustrated? Jasper, you know nothing of my life and you know nothing about me. Now fucking help me or leave me the fuck alone." I cross my arms over my chest and huff at him. I may be acting like a child, but where does he get off? Judging me without knowing me, without knowing my life.

"I'll clean up your head wound and I want to run a CT scan to check for a concussion." His tone is suddenly crisp and professional. He starts poking around on the tray the nurse brought in, soaking gauze in saline and preparing bandages.

"It's not like my boss provides health care, so how much is this going to set me back?"

"Don't worry, we have funds to help people like you."

"People like me?!" _What the fuck?_ Now I'm pissed. "Forget it. Just clean me up and we're outta here. I don't have the patience or inclination to deal with this shit."

I glance up at Rose who has a smug look on her face. She loves it when I give hell to people who think they're better than us. These self-righteous pricks think that somehow, because they have a fucking degree, they can look down on those less fortunate. In the grand scheme of things, I don't make a difference, but I like to think that I could. That maybe one or two assholes will look at us as people and not just our situation. Obviously, this isn't happening with the good doctor here. He's still gaping like a fish at me.

"You know what, Jasper? I thought _you_ were different. You offered me, a complete stranger, a ride in your warm, dry car when I was standing in the fucking rain. But you are just like all the pricks out there paying me to get in their cars. I mean nothing more to you than that. Come on, Rose, you can clean me up at home." I sit upright quickly, but clutch tightly to Rose as a wave of dizziness almost overcomes me. She gently lowers me back to the bed, her eyes wide and her lips forming an 'o' in realization.

"Wait a second. This is the fuckhot guy in the car?!" She practically yells, sending shooting pain through my head. I press my hand against my head and grimace as I realize how sticky my face is with blood.

"Yes, Rose, this is Jasper. Now that we are all friendly, can we get the fuck out of here?"

"No, Bella, wait. I can't let you leave like this." I turn as Jasper gently grasps my wrist and I again feel the buzz of electricity from his fingers. I feel the hope rise in my chest. Perhaps, he'll see me as a person, or touch me again, or want me like I desperately want him. He releases my wrist when I don't make a move to leave. "At least not until I examine you. Please." His soothing tone and calming presence relax me slightly.

"And then what, Jasper?" I ask, the antagonism slowly leaving my system, but self-preservation taking over. "You finish your exam and I walk back onto the streets. You'll forget about me. This way saves both you and I some time." _And save me some heartache._

"What are you talking about, Bella? I need to do this. I don't care what you do outside this hospital, but once you end up in my ER you are my responsibility. The comment about the funds was rude. I should have said that you don't need to worry about paying for the CT scan, and this _is_ necessary. You were unconscious and now you are dizzy. I will clean your wounds, you will get the scan and then we will discuss whether you should go home or not. Do I make myself clear?"

I blink at him a couple of times and he winks at me. _Did he just get all 'Dad' on me and then wink?_ _ He's flirting with me after insulting me?_ Apparently I'm not the only one who's confused.

I try to stand up and groan as my knees buckle and nausea grips my stomach. Rosie gently catches me and sits me back on the bed, and I close my eyes as the room spins. Leaving seems to not be much of an option right now anyway. I can't get myself out of here on my own, but Rose wouldn't hesitate to spring me if I asked her. My head is pounding though and I'm having trouble focusing. I know I have a concussion and I should have the tests.

"Bella be reasonable. You are in no shape to leave the hospital right now. Please, have the CT."

"Fine, I will stay and have the scan. Honestly, I'm very dizzy with slightly blurred vision and a pounding headache, so I'm fairly certain I do have a concussion."

"Really, doctor? You can diagnose yourself now?" He smiles widely at me as he reaches to dab my forehead, cleaning the blood from my face and assessing the cut.

"I've had several, smart ass. I'm prone to accidents." I wince as he presses the gauze to my head.

"I bet you are," he says with a frown.

Standing by my side, Rose watches the banter with amusement, a wry smile on her face. I glance over at her and she just raises her perfect eyebrows at me. I just purse my lips and she nods knowingly, glancing at her phone. I become anxious thinking about James and what may happen if he comes here. _This is so not going to end well._

"B, I have to go make a call. People will be concerned about you." She exits through the curtain before I can protest. James is going to be pissed.

Jasper continues cleaning my head in silence and I try to focus on the ceiling behind his head, ignoring his soft, welcoming grey eyes and his moist, kissable lips inches from mine. It would be so easy to grab his head and pull him to me. I can almost taste him on my tongue and I lick my lips reflexively. Jasper's eyes dart to my lips and back to my eyes, and I begin to lose myself in their depths.

The nurse bursts through the curtain and Jasper hurriedly straightens. She informs him that I will be taken up for my CT scan in about half an hour. He nods and dismisses her quickly. He continues to dab at my cut gently, taking his time and I barely notice his delicate touches. Suddenly, he takes in a deep breath and clears his throat, seemingly focusing himself.

"So, who did Rose go to call? A friend?"

"Um, no." I decide I'm not going to hide anything from him. He can take me as I am. "She's calling James. He's, uh, our pimp." _Damn, that was still hard to admit._

Jasper swallows slowly and I watch the smooth bob of his Adam's apple, utterly mesmerized. I want to lick his neck and suck on that bump. Even with the pain throbbing through my head, his body possesses me completely. I'm shaken from my fantasies as he continues to question me.

"Will he be worried about you? Does he take care of you?" His brow is creased and his wears a slight frown. _Does he really think I can't take care of myself?_ Well, so far, you don't have the best track record around him. _I know, shut up._

"What are _you_ worried about, Jasper? Yes, James will take care of me, and most likely my _accident_ will also be taken care of. Is that what you want to hear?"

"No, Bella...I mean, I don't know. I have no idea what I want to hear right now." He sounds broken and unsure and, for the first time, he avoids eye contact with me. He stops his gentle cleaning and drops all the gauze back on the tray, continuing in his professional voice, "Well, Bella, looks like you won't need any stitches, but you have a nasty bump. Are there any other injuries that I need to be aware of?"

I stare at him, unsure about his sudden change in demeanor. I look down at my body, trying to assess myself quickly. My head hurts and I have bruises on my arms, but that's all I can see.

"I have some bruises..." I hold up my arms, but he shakes his head slightly.

"I mean, any...sexual injuries." He stares at the floor, clearly uncomfortable. It's almost funny, the doctor uncomfortable talking about sex with a hooker. On the other hand, this is Jasper asking me if I was sexually assaulted.

I sigh and close my eyes. "No, Jasper. He beat the shit out of me because I said 'no', and knocked me unconscious before he could do any other damage. Isn't that enough?" I can feel the tears welling in my eyes as it hits me that this night could have been so much worse.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I had to ask." He edges closer as he gazes intently into my eyes. He shakes his head slightly and stands quickly. "It should be about time for your CT scan. I'll come back to discuss the results when you get back and I'll try to find Rose for you."

He quickly pushes through the curtain and once again I'm stunned by his sudden change in attitude. Rose enters almost immediately. Her face is slightly pale and she bites her lower lip slowly. _Shit, James must be really pissed._

"Talked to James and he's not too happy. He's going to _take care_ of things but he also said I shouldn't leave you here. I think you need to get that scan, though, but I'm not sure we can stay the night."

"Well, Jasper said the CT should be soon, then we can take off." I reassure her.

Soon, an intern enters the curtained area and wheels me to the radiology department. The CT scan is fairly quick but it does give me a minute to breathe and think about how I'm going to get out of this. For once, I'm not sure what I want to get out of. On one hand, I want to leave the hospital to avoid any confrontation between James and Jasper. In fact, to avoid any chance of them ever meeting. On the other hand, I want to stay here and have Jasper take care of me and ignore my cruel reality for just a few hours.

Before long I'm wheeled back to the ER and Rose is waiting by the curtain. She's looking anxious again and eyes me nervously. She follows me and sits on the corner of the bed.

"B, I think we need to leave as soon as possible. James called me again and he's getting really worked up. He wanted to come get you, but I told him I'd get you out."

"I just want to get the results of the scan and then we can be on our merry way, Rose. Promise."

We wait about ten minutes before Jasper stalks through the curtain, a chart in his hand. Glancing at me briefly, he continues reading while Rose and I hold our breaths. If there's no concussion, then leaving will be easy. I don't want to fight Jasper, but no one wants James here tonight. I watch his face as it scrunches in concentration and his brows furrow. _That can't be a good sign._

Jasper clears his throat and begins, "Bella, the CT shows you have a concussion with a small amount of bleeding. At this point, the amount of blood is small enough that it's not causing any problems, but you need to stay here overnight for observation. If the bleeding continues, you will need emergency surgery to stop it or you could die."

_Well, shit._ I glance at Rose nervously and realize one way or another I won't be staying here tonight, and it's to everyone's advantage if I leave now.

"Jasper, I understand what you're saying, but Rose and I have to leave."

"Bella, you could die. I can't let you go. Not tonight."

"I promise, I'll go straight home. If I stay here, or try to, James will come for me and take me anyway. No one wants that."

Suddenly, there's a commotion outside the curtain, nurses yelling and people running past.

"Too late," mumbles Rose.

"What the hell?!" Jasper yells as he rushes through the curtain and races down the hall.

Panicked, Rose helps me as I try to rise to get to James before this escalates. I can hear Jasper arguing with someone down the hall and calling loudly for security. James' voice echoes through the room and I know he's getting closer.

"You will not be taking Ms. Swan with you at this time!"

"Who da fuck're you to tell me what to do with my own girl? She's comin' home now and I'll take care of her!" James roars, coming closer and closer. Rose and I cringe together on the bed, shaking with dread at what may be coming through that curtain.

"She's suffered a concussion with subdural bleeding and needs constant observation overnight. You can't provide that. I can." The steel in Jasper's voice has me on edge. I can't help but think he means more than just being my doctor. Could he want to take care of me? I smile at that thought in spite of my fear.

"She's _my_ girl, doc. I'm takin' her wit me, so back da fuck off!" James' volume increases as a small scuffle ensues. Rose and I listen intently, nervous about the outcome and potential problems for us.

"Get him the fuck out of here and call the police. He won't be allowed back in here tonight," Jasper commands. James yelling fades down the hall and I breathe a little easier. We may be okay for tonight, but we'll have to work harder tomorrow to smooth things over with him.

Rose and I flinch as the curtain is pulled back roughly. Jasper stands in the opening, face flushed, blond hair disheveled and chest heaving. His mouth is set in a grim smile when he finally addresses us.

"You two can stay here tonight. No one will be coming to get you." With that, he strides away.

"Rose?" I whisper as I turn to her, still gripping her tightly. Even in that single word, I can hear my voice shaking with the adrenaline still coursing through my veins. Jasper's actions don't make any sense. _Why protect me?_

"Yeah, B?" she whispers back, her wide eyes never leaving the swinging curtain.

"What the fuck just happened?"

* * *

**A/N: Thanks as always for reading and reviewing! I read every one and (I think) respond to all of them. Big hugs and smooches to my super beta mhl1115 for all her help!! Apparently I'm a comma-phobe... ;)  
**

**Please check out the other entries to the contest in all the categories from the link at the top of the page. You can also access forums there for discussion of these stories.**


	4. Roxanne

**Lyrical Melodrama Story Contest**

**Name of story: Nothing on the Side**

**Pen name: bmango**

**Song story is inspired by: "Roxanne"**

**Artist: The Police**

**Category: Newbie**

**Main Pairing: Jasper/Bella**

**POV: Bella and Jasper**

**To read the rest of the entries, go to the Lyrical Melodrama Story Contest C2 on the website/forum.**

**If you want to see the rules for this contest, go to the website.**

**If you have any questions about the contest, contact them either via PM or their email:**

**competitions(at)thewriterscoffeeshop(dot)com**

**or go to **

**www(dot)thewriterscoofeeshop(dot)com**

A/N: Don't own. Hope to someday have a Jaguar. See you down below.

*****************************  
I loved you since I knew ya  
I wouldn't talk down to ya  
I have to tell you just how I feel  
I won't share you with another boy

"Roxanne" The Police  
*****************************

JPOV

Slouching in the uncomfortable plastic chair, a thin blanket wrapped around my frame, I watch Bella softly snoring in the bed. Her dark hair frames her beautiful face, and she finally seems peaceful, her dark lashes grazing her cheeks. The monitors surrounding her softly beep to the rhythm of her heart and lull me into relaxation. I pull the blanket tighter around me as I shudder at how crazy this night has been.

My night had been fairly routine and I was becoming adept at avoiding the nurses' stares and whispers about Tanya. When Rose came screaming into the ER with an unconscious and bleeding friend, my first thought was for the patient and her well-being. Then Bella opened her eyes, and I almost fell apart. The one woman I didn't want to see, and yet thought about in every waking moment. She appeared as if from a dream, broken, bleeding and beautiful with long brown hair and pale skin. But her eyes, the window to her soul, were exactly as I remembered them, deep brown pools of warmth. She was sitting before me, injured, helpless and scared as hell.

All the words I wanted to tell her were screaming in my head, all the thoughts that kept me up at night and listening to Emmett for advice. Then I opened my mouth and uttered the most ridiculous question: "Why didn't you tell me you're a prostitute?"

I am so stupid. She's right, it shouldn't matter what she does, and, so far, I like who she is. But, it does matter. She's so scared that I don't want to know her because she's a hooker. I have to admit, I do have a problem with that, but only because I'm selfish. I can't share her with anyone. Just thinking about her with another man, makes my jaw clench and my blood boil. I have never felt so much passion for a woman… this insatiable need to be near her, take care of her, protect her.

I had decided that if she wanted to leave the hospital after the CT, I would let her, barring any danger to her. That small bleed in her brain prevented me from letting her go. I couldn't keep her against her will, but I just couldn't form the words to tell her so. She could have died if she left the hospital, and I wouldn't have been able to save her. I still can't completely explain it, but I couldn't let her go if there was a chance that I would never see her again.

In the midst of my attempts to convince her to stay, James arrived in the ER. He was belligerent and wouldn't leave her in the hospital, even though it was clearly the right decision. He couldn't and can't provide the care she needed or needs now. He is not now, and never will be enough for her. Can I be enough?

I sigh, watching the blanket shift slightly as she breathes. I feel like I could sit here forever, reveling in her beauty and just watching her dream quietly. I barely know Bella. How could she affect me so completely? All I'm sure of right now is that she does.

I'm distracted from my thoughts as she rolls gently to her side and mumbles unintelligibly. I shift my chair closer, hoping to catch some of her whispered words.

"James, no..." she whimpers, her plump lips pouting slightly. _Mother fucker. Why is she dreaming of him?_

"No, don't…" she mumbles.

"'Don't' what, my angel?" I whisper, wanting to smooth her hair from her worried brow.

"I want… Jasper..." she finishes with a whisper.

My heart leaps in my chest, and I don't resist the large smile that spreads across my face. _Me. She wants __**me**__._

Now, don't get too far ahead of yourself, there, cowboy. She _is_ dreaming.

I continue to watch her for hours, while the nurses who check on Bella show me raised eyebrows and smirks. At this point I could care less, but I do have a large decision before me.

Not that there are specific rules about who you date in the hospital, but I know how much public opinion sways decisions, and I want to be chief some day. In that position, I would represent the hospital both within the walls and publicly. My image would directly reflect the hospital's image. Do I want to stay with her, want to risk everything for her? What would this mean for me, my life?

Is it realistic for any man to want to date a prostitute? At this point, no. How could any man, in his right mind, share at all? Let alone, share with so many other men? Maybe it's my southern upbringing, but that just doesn't sit well with me. And if Bella can't or won't leave James, then I can't be with her.

As that thought circulates through my brain, a sharp pain in my chest erupts and I can't breathe. There's just an empty hole remaining where Bella has already carved out a piece of my heart.

I grip my hands in my hair and relish in the distracting pain. I slump again in my chair as these thoughts keep circling, and I realize that she already consumes me. She sighs softly in her sleep, and an unbidden smile crosses my lips. I don't think I have the strength to walk away. Maybe... maybe this could work.

A nurse strides in for more tests. She doesn't even glance in my direction, finishes her exam and exits quickly. I look up when Bella stretches and realize I may have to face my decision sooner than I would like.

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BPOV

I wake slowly in the near dark to a nurse prodding me for my vitals. Seriously, do they think people sleep better when being awoken every 2 hours? I think I dreamed through most of these nighttime interruptions, though, because I often imagined Jasper's body slouched in a chair in the dark with his golden curls hanging over his face. He had been haunting my dreams all night. At one point, I had a particularly vivid dream in which James made it through that curtain in the ER and found me huddled on the gurney. He hauled me from the bed and tried to force me to leave, screaming the entire time that I belonged to him. Jasper stood in the way and stopped James. Dream Bella wanted to stay with Jasper forever. In the early dawn, alone in this small room, I couldn't agree more with her.

The nurse finishes her examination and leaves the room quietly. I know I'm not going to sleep any more and I start to think about what I may be facing tomorrow, or later today actually. James is going to be a force to reckon with. He will not be happy he was kept from me, and that I didn't run to him. He is maniacally possessive of his girls, dangerously so. Rose said she would show up as early as possible to get me home so I could meet with James before things got out of control.

I sit up and then stretch slowly, feeling a burn in the muscles of my shoulders and back. I'm sure I have some impressive bruises from Felix's attack last night. My head is throbbing only faintly, and I wonder what kind of drugs are flowing through the IV into my arm. Must be some good stuff.

A slight movement in the corner of the room diverts my attention and I see the tall figure from my dreams slouched in a chair, covered in a blanket. For a second, hope sears through me and I wish it could be true, that Jasper _is_ here. I squint in the dim light filtering in from the hallway, but it does not reveal much of the person's features. I know it's not Rose.

"Wh-who's there?" I tremble when I think about all the possibilities. Please, just a friendly face, that's all I'm asking.

"I'm sorry if I startled you, Bella. It's just me," a smooth masculine voice drifts through the darkness. Jasper.

I smile in spite of myself. He stayed. "Not startled, just surprised. What are you doing here? Do you normally sleep in your patient's room?"

He chuckles quietly. "Um...no. This would be a first." He runs his hand through his hair, seemingly nervous. "I just want to make sure that you're okay. My shift ended and I just...couldn't leave you." He looks up into my face, and I can feel his gaze burn through all my dreams.

I'm stunned. This gorgeous man, the doctor who may have saved my life, couldn't leave me. Me. Bella fucking Swan, the one left behind, kicked out, disowned. I stare back at him, unable to form words.

He stands abruptly, throwing his blanket across the chair. He pulls his hand down his face and crosses his arms in front of him. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'll just be leaving." As he turns to leave, my voice explodes from my chest.

"No, Jasper, wait!" I'm not sure what I'm going to tell him, but I can't let him walk out that door. He still faces away from me, as I watch his shoulders rise and fall with each breath. "Please, stay," I beg. Somehow I don't mind that he knows I need him.

His shoulders slump forward in resignation, but he doesn't turn.

"Bella, I'm not sure what I'm doing here." His voice quavers with emotion and he sighs loudly.

"Me, either. But you can't just walk away from me right now."

He turns back to face me and his eyes are shining. The buzz that hums across my skin when we touch seems to be pulsing between us. He takes a few shaky steps towards the bed where I am lying, and sits hesitantly on the edge. I can no longer stop my fingers from touching him and I reach towards his arm. Wrapping my fingers around his bicep, I sigh as the heat and electricity increases. He closes his eyes while turning to face me. When he opens them, I see the fire alight in his eyes, and he gently places his hand over mine.

"I don't understand what you do to me, Bella. I've never felt this before..."

We continue to hold each other in our awkward position, neither one of us wanting to move and break the moment. He scoots slightly closer to me and I can feel the heat radiating from his skin through my thin hospital gown. I raise my hand to his face, rasping my palm against the stubble on his jaw. He leans into my touch, closing his eyes and sighing.

"Jasper, I'm confused, too. But I know I like this... and I dream of your touch," I end with a whisper. I trace the dark circles under his eyes and notice how tired he seems.

"I feel so comfortable around you, Bella, like I can tell you anything. I'm just not sure I'm ready for this." He turns his sad eyes to me, grabbing my wrist gently. He kisses my palm, his lips lingering over my skin as he stares at me intently. He places my hand back on the bed and shakes his head slightly as he stands.

"I'll return to check on you again before I leave," he speaks to the door. He exits my room abruptly, not waiting for any response, and not even glancing back at me.

I absently rub my hand where his lips just marked my skin while I stare at the door he just practically ran through. This man is thoroughly confusing, but all I can think about is his promise to return. As I recline into the bed, I decide not to dwell on his quick departure, and instead focus on his words. He is confused, but he must feel _something_, just like me. He kissed my hand, a definite first for me. He said he couldn't leave.

With that thought, I can feel my anxiety escalate. My chest constricts around my lungs and I gasp for breath. Everyone leaves. Why am I hoping he's different? The only person I've allowed in my heart is Rose and she had to work long years to get there. I've been turned away by everyone who has claimed to love me, and I can't let myself be sucked into that place again.

I start to shake as memories of how I came to be in this situation tumble through my head.

My parents threw me on the street when I was 16, pregnant and scared out of my mind. The people who were supposed to love me unconditionally, apparently only signed up for virginal Bella. The asshole who knocked me up was a real winner, and actually convinced his parents to send him to boarding school to avoid the whole thing. He also denied he was the father, which left me with no options. I eventually ended up in a women's shelter, 3 months pregnant and starving. One of the women there, Angela, gave me extra food and made sure I had a bed. At the time, I had hopes of giving the baby up for adoption, but in the end, things didn't go as planned.

I woke one morning to excruciating pain and soaked sheets. After screaming in pain, Angela found me covered in blood, writhing in the sheets. A doctor sympathetic to the shelter's mission came, but it was too late. Apparently, I was too weak to carry this child. I couldn't even care for myself and that killed my baby. I cried for days, maybe weeks. I lost everything that day. The emptiness of my womb translated to my every moment and I could barely function without Angela.

The women's shelter closed for a couple months when they ran out of money, and I found myself on the streets again. Angela was taken in by some family and, although she didn't want to leave me, I forced her to go. And just like that, I was alone.

One day, I was standing on a corner, starving, and contemplating robbing the grocery store across the street. Surely, they wouldn't miss a bag of chips. Then a fancy silver Volvo pulled up in front of me, startling me from my anxious thoughts. The window lowered and a middle-aged man leaned towards me, looked me over and said the words that would change my life. "I'll give you twenty-five for a blowjob."

I climbed into the car, sucked his cock and had enough money to sleep in a bed, take a shower and buy food. Best night of my life. The next day, I made 70 bucks. I hated these men and hated using my body this way, but I had food in my belly and a bed waiting for me. It was difficult not to do it. I met Rose one night as she was leaning into a car, arguing with a man over price. I couldn't believe how beautiful she was and wondered what the hell she was doing out here, struggling like me. She sent the man packing while yelling a stream of obscenities after him that would make a trucker proud. I just stared at her, and I'm sure my jaw was gaping.

"What the fuck are you looking at, bitch?" With that, I snap out of whatever trance I was in.

"Just wondering how you plan to live, if you let them drive off, _bitch_." I raise my eyebrows at her and I watch her lips twitch faintly.

"I'm Rose, what's your name?"

"It's Bella. And I'm signing up for your foul language class." I put on my tough face, but I blushed furiously as she approached me and looked me over.

Then she smiled brilliantly at me and hooked her arm through mine. We've been together ever since. The hotel room was even cheaper split with her, and we were able to keep more money for clothes and food. We were actually doing so well, we didn't have to work every night. Then came the run in with Jess.

Rose and I were working a favorite block of ours, making good money for the night, when this nasty makeup-layered whore approached us with hardly any clothing and hair frizzed in every direction. She stalked up to me, only a couple inches taller despite her heels.

"What are you doing here, whore? This is my block!" She screamed in my face, her voice squeaking at the end.

"I don't see your fucking name here," I taunt, looking around at the ground. "In fact, you need to back the fuck off. This is our block tonight."

The hooker pushed me and I tottered backward into Rose's chest. Rose is just under six feet tall without heels, and tonight she had at least four extra inches of shoe. I turned to Rose and smirked at the glare on her face fixed on the slut in front of me. Things just went from bad to worse for this little skank. She backed off immediately, pulling her cell phone from her purse and talking rapidly to whoever answered.

Rose and I were feeling pretty good about ourselves until a dark Suburban with heavily tinted windows pulled up the curb in front of us. Jess's haughty smirk should have given us an idea of what we were getting into. Two burly guys jumped from the back grabbed us and threw us into the giant SUV while we continued to kick and scream. No one on the streets even glanced our direction, let alone thought about helping us. We looked at each other, fear evident on both of our faces.

A lean, lanky man with dirty blonde hair pulled into a messy ponytail turned and grinned at us from the front seat. This was our introduction to James. He offered us 'protection' and a better place to call home than the week-by-week motel. So began the current state of my life.

I sigh as I continue to stare at the ceiling of the small hospital room. Recalling my start in this business, I become very melancholy and realize how much of an ass I've been. How can I contemplate even touching Jasper? He's just so good, and I'm...not. He's like an innocent kid, comparatively, and I can't contaminate him like I have with the rest of my life.

Maybe I'm jaded, but in my world of hookers, pimps, drugs and death, I'm not sure I could be anything else. Do I want to drag Jasper into this? Into my fucked up life?

The door to my room opens and shuts quickly and I blink from the flash of light. A figure quickly approaches my bed with the click-click of heels.

"Bella? Bella?" Rose whispers furtively, looking over her shoulder while shaking my shoulder.

"I'm awake, Rose. Stop shaking me, please." My teeth chatter together as she continues to shake me.

"Bella, we're in some deep shit. I've got to get you out of here now." She turns to me and I see worry pinching her face.

"What the fuck is going on? I can go if I need to, just grab my clothes." I'm actually dreading putting on that red dress again, but I will if Rose says I have to. She hands me a bag and I sigh as I open it. Jeans and a t-shirt. I'm so outta here.

"There's clothes in the bag but we need to go fucking now. James is going fucking ape-shit."

"Hand me some gauze from that pile by the sink. I gotta remove the IV first."

Rose grabs some gauze as I rip the tape off my arm. Pressing the gauze against my skin I remove the IV and throw it to the floor. I pull on my jeans and wait until the last moment to remove the taped leads from my skin. As the monitor's alarms start beeping, I hastily shove my feet in the slippers Rose brought, grab the bags and run for the door.

Rose grabs my arm and directs me quickly towards a staircase at the end of the hall. I can hear the calls of the nurses approaching my room behind us and feel a small pang of guilt. Jasper said he would come back, but I'm running away again.

As Rose and I dash down the stairs, she steadies me with her arm around my waist. We exit from a back service door and I see her ancient Buick waiting for us. She helps me into the passenger seat and tosses the bags into the back seat. She scowls at her car as she climbs into the driver's seat. I grin at her automatic reaction to her car. I know it's her version of car hell, but it's transportation, so she doesn't verbally complain about it.

As we pull away, I look up to the floor I was on and wonder if Jasper was really going to come back to me. I shake my head to clear it. These hopes and fantasies won't get me anywhere but hurt. I know this.

I look over at Rose, her knuckles white against the black of the steering wheel. Her eyes are frantically scanning the street in front and behind us. I nervously glance over my shoulder, wondering why she is so worked up.

"Um, Rose? Why are you so nervous?"

"Jesus, Bella. You have no idea what's been going on while you holed up with Dr. McHotness. James is planning something big, and you are probably the only one that can stop him. He's not listening to anyone. In fact," she tosses me her phone before continuing. "Call him now. Stop this before it goes bad."

I hurriedly dial James. "Going bad" is something that happens around James often. Usually it means another hospital visit, I'm just hoping it's not for any of the girls. _Or Jasper_, I amend.

The phone only rings once before James' gruff voice pierces through my already pounding head.

"What the hell, Rose?! Where the fuck have you been?! I've been-"

"It's me, J," I interrupt before my head explodes from his yelling. " Rose is bringing me home. We should be there very soon."

"Bella!? Oh God, I need your ass here now! I can't believe that mother fucker got you!"

I wonder for a second if he means Felix or Jasper, but decide to avoid the subject all together until I can see his face. James is very easy to read and I know how to calm him.

"Rose is driving as fast as she can, baby. Just be calm and we'll be there soon."

I hear a large exhale on the other end and hope James is settling down. "Yeah, yeah. Just come straight here or, I swear, I'm going to go outta my fucking mind."

"Soon." I hear the connection end before I can continue, and I scowl at the phone.

"James is in rare form. Did he go after Felix? Why is he so worked up?"

"You know he's always been after you, B. I don't know about Felix. James is ruthless and crazy, but Felix has powerful friends. I'm taking you straight to James so we can settle this and keep him contained."

"Yeah, I hope so." I'm filled with dread as I think of how this could go. How could I even consider leaving James if he acts this way when I'm away for one night? How can I escape him? Why would I want to involve Jasper in my life?

_Mostly because no matter what, or who I'm thinking about, I'm also thinking about how Jasper would relate. I'm already trying to fit him into my impossible life. _

Eventually, we pull up to James' apartment building. There are two heavily muscled men sitting on the steps who stand as we pull up to the curb.

"Morning, girls," one growls at us. "James is waiting for you upstairs."

"Thanks, Tony," Rose answers with a wink. _Wow, the girl never stops working_. Although, I note with a smirk, the guy is totally her type: big, muscled teddy bear.

We ascend the stairs to the third floor and are greeted by more of James' guards loitering in the halls. One of them opens the apartment door and ushers us inside.

"James is in the living room," he grunts as he shuts the door behind us.

Rose and I exchange nervous glances and walk slowly towards the soft music playing around the corner. Loud, obnoxious rap music indicates a good mood. Soft music is bad. James is brooding. _Fuck._

We turn the corner and find James sitting on the low couch with his feet propped on the coffee table, dozens of empty beer bottles surrounding him.

"James, we're here."

At my words, he jumps from the couch and stumbles towards me. He wraps his arms around my shoulders and leans his weight into me. His heady breath smells like stale beer and he drawls into my ear.

"Bella…why did you leave me?"

"I didn't leave, J. I'm right here. Felix hit me and I needed to go to the hospital." His nails dig into my arms at the mention of last night's events.

"Fucking Felix. He's never gettin' another girl in my town. And that fucking doctor. Who the fuck does he think he is? Stopping me?! I should teach him a fucking lesson!" James growls and his face turns red as he swings from sad to angry in 2.2 seconds.

"James, calm down, sweetie. It was Felix that hurt me. The doctor helped me, might have saved my life." I stroke his cheek and he seems to calm at my touch.

"Yeah, Felix caused this." He pauses as if considering this new angle. "How did this happen?"

I take a deep breath, considering on how to answer this question. I decide to go for simple and the truth. I release James and back up a step so I can look him in the eyes.

"He wouldn't put on a condom and I told him 'no'. He smacked me a couple times and I think I hit my head on the car window. I woke up in the hospital."

"I watched the whole thing. After he knocked her out, he dumped her on the street like trash and drove away. Didn't even fucking care if he killed her." Rose clenches her teeth as she half growls through her words.

James turns and kicks the table, knocking bottles everywhere.

"Fucking hell! I don't give a shit who this fucker's friends are. He's gonna to meet somma mine." James yells a command suddenly, and two of the burly guys in the hall are instantly in the small space.

"Find Felix," he growls at them. "Bring him here. I need him alive, but not necessarily in one piece."

_Holy shit! What did I get myself into?_ The two thugs half-salute James and quickly leave to fulfill his orders.

"Uh, James, I think Rose and I should go. I'm very tired and need my rest." I barely suppress a yawn as he turns back to me, surprise written on his face.

"What are you talking about, B? You're staying here with me. I'll send Tony to get your stuff later. I need to watch you, so you'll have to be here."

I frown. This is not going as planned. I don't stop him from sending guys after Felix and now he wants me to move in. _At least, he's not going after Jasper._

"James, no. You're just upset and I'll be fine. I'll call you every hour if you want, but I like my place. I like having my privacy and time to myself. Rose can stay with me for a couple days," I offer, hoping to assuage his fears.

"Bella, I don't like it, you living on your own. I should've never agreed to it. You too, Rose. I think you both should move back."

I can hear Rose move closer and clear her throat.

"If you make us move back, J, we're fucking outta here. I dunno what we'll do, but living here is not my future."

James glares at Rose, but knows that she's not a pushover like me. She won't be bullied or guilted into staying here, and when she says something, she never backs down. James eventually shakes his head and I know we've come through this relatively unscathed.

"Okay, okay. You can keep your apartments, but I'm still sending Tony with you to make sure it's safe."

We readily agree and I shoot a quick thankful smile towards Rose and she winks at me. Little she-devil, I knew she was bluffing.

We quickly kiss James goodbye and head back to the car. Tony pulls up in his ridiculously small compact car and follows us to my apartment. We unload the bags and then wave to Tony, who honks before pulling away.

Trudging up the stairs, I realize how incredibly exhausted I am. Rose directs me to my door, through the apartment and to my bed. I flop on top of the comforter as she strips my jeans from me and tucks me in. She leans in and kisses my forehead before quietly leaving the room and shutting the door.

I listen to her moving around the apartment, and eventually the faint sounds of the TV float through my door. I drift off slowly, imagining Jasper's blond hair and the ghost of his lips on my palm.

* * *

E/N: Hello from the lovely land of Australia!! I want to thank my beta, mhl115 (if you haven't read The Picnic Table, you should), who is amazing and trying to work around both our hectic schedules. I promise any grammar or formatting mistakes in here are all mine…

Only one chapter left in this contest! Hope you are enjoying the ride!


	5. Next to You

**Lyrical Melodrama Story Contest**

**Name of story: Nothing on the Side**

**Pen name: bmango**

**Song story is inspired by: "Roxanne"**

**Artist: The Police**

**Category: Newbie**

**Main Pairing: Jasper/Bella**

**POV: Bella and Jasper**

**To read the rest of the entries, go to the Lyrical Melodrama Story Contest C2 on the website/forum.**

**If you want to see the rules for this contest, go to the website.**

**If you have any questions about the contest, contact them either via PM or their email:**

**competitions(at)thewriterscoffeeshop(dot)com**

**or go to **

**www(dot)thewriterscoffeeshop(dot)com**

Disclaimer: The Twilight saga belongs to the lovely S. Meyer. I am the owner of a fancy new Australian outback hat.

**************************  
What can I do?  
All I want is to get next to you

"Next to You' ~The Police  
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JPOV

I walk, no sprint, out of Bella's room to roam the halls aimlessly, lost and unaware of my surroundings. Her vulnerability still pulls on me, calling me back no matter what distance is between us.

While sitting on her bed, I could feel myself giving in, consequences be damned. Both of us were confessing our attraction and confusion, and I finally felt free. But I almost went too far.

_Innocent kiss, my ass._

The moment my lips touched her skin, I was fucking lost. I won't ever recover from this. No matter how far I run, I can see her chocolate eyes begging me to stay.

I become aware of my surroundings and find myself in an empty waiting area, throwing my body into one of the hard plastic chairs. With my elbows on my knees, my hands grip my hair, and I stare at the worn carpet trying to collect my thoughts. Perhaps this woman has done unspeakable things, things I would rather not indulge my imagination with. But, she's still a woman, one that I want to know better; one that I need to be closer to. This tangled mess within my heart, or maybe just my head, is a swirling maelstrom of nervousness, elation, excitement, and a small portion of hesitation. Although, the latter is becoming less and less every moment I spend thinking about her or being near her.

I glance at my watch, 4:00 am. Bella will be here until at least 8:00 am with the doctors finishing rounds before discharges are finalized. I have enough time.

I race to my car, texting Emmett frantically. I need advice desperately. If I'm going to do this, I'll do it the right way. And make my momma proud.

Emmett finally responds after my fourth text, groggy and pissed.

"What the fuck, J? It's what? 4:30 in the fucking morning! I've been in bed for a total of two hours, this better be fucking good."

"Sorry, Em. I just don't have much time."

Something in my voice must have gotten his attention because his next words are coherent and short.

"What's wrong, Jazz? You okay?"

"I'm..." The word 'fine' isn't quite right. 'Confused' or 'infatuated' will draw more attention than I want. "Well, I'm looking for advice... about a girl."

"Same girl, J? Or have you moved on from the hooker?"

I cringe at the word, but continue, "Same one. She's in my ICU as we speak. I fucked things up and I need to do something nice for her. Any suggestions?"

"Flowers always seem to work for me. May be fucking cliché, but chicks always fall for that shit. Although, I've never tried to impress a hooker."

I scrub my face with my hands. _Impress a hooker. What am I trying to do?_ No, she's a woman, a beautiful woman, who deserves everything. The least I can do is get her some fucking flowers.

I thank Em profusely and promise him breakfast or lunch or some kind of large meal at a much later time, like later when the sun is up. After hanging up, I remember that it's the middle of the night and no florist will be open. After driving around aimlessly for an hour, looking vainly into dark windows, I turn towards home, a plan solidifying in my mind.

I arrive at my apartment shortly and sprint up the steps, suddenly feeling like I'm running out of time. I shower, shave, and change into jeans and a white button-down shirt, looking and feeling like a brand new man. A man with convictions. A man with a plan.

Refreshed and invigorated from the shower and the prospects of my new plan, I climb the stairs to the roof and my meager garden. There I select one of the dark pink stargazer lilies, wrapping the stem carefully in wet paper towels. As I drive back to the hospital, I glance at the lily sitting on the passenger seat, imagining Bella's face when I greet her with it in a few short minutes. Before I know it, I'm pulling back into the hospital parking garage, the sunlight glinting in my mirrors. I park quickly. I push the button for the elevator, but turn towards the stairs after two seconds. I can't wait to see her face again so I take them two at a time. This entrance will also allow me to avoid the ever-gossiping nurses.

I pause with my hand on the door handle to her room, catching my breath and collecting my thoughts. I rest my forehead briefly against the door, take one more deep breath and open it. The large smile on my face quickly fades as I scan the empty room. It's barely 6:30am, where could she be? I'm suddenly afraid as scenarios play themselves out in my head: James took her; she had another bleed and was rushed to surgery; she ran away from me. I shiver as each possibility fills me with dread. My heart rate increases and I feel short of breath, anxiety clutching at my chest.

Before I have a full-out panic attack, a woman clears her throat behind me. I turn to see Angela; a petite, young nurse that keeps to herself but always has a friendly smile and a helping hand. She enters the room with a shy smile in my direction, seemingly very interested in the bed linens.

"She checked out of here about 5:30 with that blonde friend of hers," she whispers to me. "And by checked out, I mean she left the same way you just came in." She chuckles and shakes her head slightly. "You two are quite the pair, you know."

Hope blossoms in my chest. Two scenarios, surgery or James, have been proven incorrect. Which just leaves...

"Do you know where she went?"

"No." She smiles at me again and hands me a folder on her way out the door. "But, perhaps, this will be helpful."

I open the folder and discover Bella's record. Taped to the top sheet is a note that reads, "Incorrect address provided by patient. Address confirmed as 363 Fifth St, #7; provided by PD."

I smile at Angela's perceptiveness and quietly hand it back to her as I pass her desk. I'm not sure why Angela has decided to help me, but I'll have to make this up to her.

"I hope you find what you are looking for, Doctor," she calls after me.

I wave and continue to the elevator, my heart lighter. Once again, I have time. I know where to find her now. The address is only a block or so from where I dropped her off that rainy night. _Christ! Was it only two days ago?_

I drive carefully to the other side of town, worried that I will do something stupid out of sheer exhaustion and excitement. It takes me longer than usual, but I arrive outside her apartment in one piece. I pull up to the curb, forcing myself to relax. Recognizing the opening chords of an older Police song on the radio, I chuckle at the irony. Roxanne, indeed. I listen to the rest of the song, and realize how true the words are. I need Bella in my life somehow, in whatever capacity she will allow, but I won't share her with other men.

The first part of my plan will be to get to know her and discover if this immediate attraction and energy between us is more than skin deep. This will require leaving the car.

Gathering my thoughts, courage, and the lily from the seat, I open the car door and slowly make my way to the steps. I shake my head.

What the hell is wrong with me? She's up there, so close and I'm taking my time? I feel a wide smile split my face and I again find myself taking stairs two at a time. I pause briefly outside the door marked '#7,' then knock and wait. I can hear the faint noises of a TV in the apartment and steps approaching the door. It opens a crack with the chain pulled taught across the opening and I see blonde hair and piercing blue eyes.

"What the fuck are you doing here, doc? You are only going to cause trouble. You know that, right?"

"Rose, hi. Um... yes." Her intense stare is unnerving and I swallow thickly trying to form coherent sentences and answer her questions intelligently. "I need to see her, Rose, to talk to her." I hold the lily up to the crack as a peace offering.

Rose rolls her eyes and sighs while shutting the door in my face. I back to the stairs in defeat, but then hear the chain unlatching and the door reopening.

"Come in, doc. She's resting but she would kill me if I let her sleep through this."

I stand in a daze, unable to convince my feet to move. Rose almost seems..._nice_.

"Didn't you fucking hear me? Get your ass in here!"

_Ah, that's more like it._

I step quickly through the door into a short hallway leading to a small living room. The room is divided by a small couch and chair facing a muted television and a small bookcase stuffed with books and a few framed pictures. A tiny kitchen is to my left, separated from the living room by a counter peninsula with a couple bar stools under it. I lay the lily down gently on the counter and glance around, a little lost.

Rose gestures at me to sit on the couch and heads down a small hallway on the right towards a closed door, but turns suddenly, eyes wide.

"Wait a second. How the fuck did you find us, dickhead? Did you follow us?" Her voice grows louder as she stalks towards me.

I back into a wall with my hands raised to fend her off if need be. "I got the address from the hospital..."

"Bullshit! I didn't give them this address!"

"The hospital always verifies addresses for billing purposes and had tracked down the correct address through Bella's name. Possibly shady, but I won't deny that it worked." I shrug and Rose eyes me suspiciously, but backs up a couple of steps.

"Okay, doctor boy," she begins, poking her manicured nail into my chest to emphasize her point. "Bella trusts you, although I'm not sure why, so I won't kick you out now. But, I will be watching you. No more shady business." She turns and struts down the hallway again.

It's a couple seconds before I move from my place against the wall, rubbing my hand on the now tender spot on my breastbone. Rose isn't much shorter than me and I have no doubt that she could, and would, honor the threat she just made. I chuckle quietly as I realize she didn't swear through that entire speech, possibly a first that I've heard.

Rose disappears through the door at the end of the hallway and soon I hear soft female voices talking behind it. I take this opportunity to look around Bella's apartment, trying not to snoop or be "shady."

The walls and shelves have a few photographs, mostly of Bella and Rose. One photo has a young couple holding a baby, smiling at each other over the little girl. I wonder if they are Bella's parents and where they are. Rose had listed herself as Bella's emergency contact. Perhaps, they are dead then. That is the only reality I'm willing to accept right now. No parent would willingly let his or her child live like this.

The pictures of her and Rose are fairly recent and seem to be mostly around town. The two laughing by the fountain in the city square or in the farmer's market. One large photo features a delighted Bella posing while surrounded by boxes on the floor of this apartment. In all the pictures, Bella's smile is a ray of pure sunshine.

Her bookshelves contain stacks and stacks of books in all sizes. All genres seem to be represented but there's a definite leaning towards romance and poetry. I'm surprised when I see a few of my favorite history novels and Palahniuk mixed with Austen and Poe. _She can't have read all of these. Could she?_

The hairs on my arms rise and I feel a tingle through my body. I send up a silent prayer that this electricity never fades as I turn to find Bella standing behind me, slightly rumpled, and blinking slowly. Suddenly, I feel horrible for waking her, especially as I was the one who ordered her bedrest.

She stifles a yawn with her hand. "Didn't expect to see you again so soon. Find anything you like?"

I stare at her, unsure what she's referring to, but very much liking what I'm seeing right now. A blush creeps up her cheeks and she ducks her head slightly. If I thought she was gorgeous before, that blush just pushed the limits of beauty. I don't know how I ever thought I would be able to resist her.

"I meant, in the books, Jasper. Do you see any books you like?"

I turn back towards the shelves, slightly embarrassed myself at my obvious ogling of her. "Um...well. I guess, I'm just surprised at the variety. Have you read them all?"

"Yes, actually. If it's on my shelf, I have read it. The pile next to my bed is another story, but I'm making it through them."

"Did you ever study literature?"

I know as soon as the words are out of my mouth that this is the wrong thing to ask. Her brows furrow and she frowns slightly. She seems to catch herself and in the next second she has a smile on her face again.

"Uh, no. Never really got around to school. I was busy, ya know." Her smile fades as she talks and I feel like a complete ass. _Great, fucked up again._

We both stare at each other for a few heartbeats, before she turns her head again, hiding her face behind her mahogany hair. I want to reach forward and sweep it away, but still my hand before the gesture frightens her. I know that we are both in uncharted territory, and I need to take things slow.

"Jasper, why don't we sit down? What brings you here anyway?" She backs up and sits on the couch and I opt to take the seat next to her, feeling the warmth between our legs.

"Well, I went back to your room to find you and you weren't there anymore. So, I found your address with a little help and here I am." I stand to retrieve the lily. "And this made me think of you."

I hand the lily to her and watch her face light up, a bright smile curving her red lips.

"A stargazer lily? Why am I surprised? Of course, you would bring me the perfect lily," she mumbles, her words trailing off into nothingness.

"You like it? It's from my roof garden."

"And you grow them?" She stares at me incredulously and I look at my feet.

"Uh, yes?" _Why does she make me so nervous?_ I'm typically a take charge kind of guy, the one making decisions in stressful situations. In front of Bella, I lose all composure and become a scared teenage boy again.

"I'm going to put this in some water and change into real clothes. Do you feel like breakfast?" She stands and walks into the kitchen, pulling a tall slender vase from a shelf.

"Sure, I could eat. I mean, unless you need to sleep." Then, I remember that she shouldn't even be standing and walking around. The girl has a concussion and I'm not acting like her doctor right now by dragging her out to breakfast. "Actually, should you be up and about? Maybe I should go-"

"Stop it, Jasper. If I wanted you to leave, I would ask you to. I'm not a shy girl. We're going out because I want to and no little bump on the head will stop me." She pauses and looks down the hall. " Hold that thought, sugar, I need to check on Rose." She sets the vase on the counter and walks into the bedroom shutting the door behind her.

Shit, I had totally forgotten about Rose. This is so not going as planned. So far, no sweeping her off her feet, no swooning in my arms. _What kind of plan is this?_

Seconds later, Bella emerges from the bedroom in jeans, a tight pink t-shirt and black chucks. She grabs a light jacket from the closet by the door and gestures that she's ready to go. As she's pulling on her jacket, she sways unsteadily on her feet and I rush to catch her before she falls. My arms wrap around her waist and I pull her close. The sudden amplification of the energy between us nearly makes my knees weak. _Not exactly the swooning I was looking for._

"You're not going anywhere, darlin', but over to that couch." I help her walk to the couch and reluctantly release her waist and arm as she settles on the cushions. "Okay, now tell me what to pick up for you at the coffee shop and I'll be right back."

"Fine, I'll stay here on one condition."

"What's that?"

"When you say you're coming back, you promise you'll come back."

"Done. I promise I will return with the steaming hot non-caffeinated beverage and pastry of your choice."

"Excellent. Then I'll take a decaf Irish breakfast tea and a raspberry Danish."

"What about Rose?"

"What about her? She needs her beauty sleep. She'll be out for a few hours and won't miss the Danishes," she reassures me.

With that, I race to the 24-hour coffee shop on the corner, which is just starting to get busy with the morning crowd. I order two teas and Danishes and try not to pace and glare at the barista taking her time with the espresso order ahead of me. I swear, is no one in a hurry today?

Finally, she calls my name, I grab the bags and the mugs and practically run back to Bella's apartment. As I'm striding down the hall, Rose exits the apartment, looking tousled and sleepy.

"She's all yours, lover boy. Don't forget what I said."

"I promise not to hurt her, Rose."

"Physical pain she can deal with, doc. Just don't fuck this up."

"Believe me, I'm trying not to."

She gives me one last glare and brushes past me on her way to the elevator. I enter the apartment quickly and see Bella still on the couch and so I bring our small breakfast over to the coffee table in front of her.

As I hand her a cup of tea, our hands brush each other. She jerks her hand back, but I grasp for it with my other hand, keeping the contact between us. She blushes a lovely shade, pulls her hand back and tries to hide her face in her hair.

"Do I embarrass you, Bella?"

"No, it's not really embarrassment. I'm just not used to this kind of attention. First a flower and now breakfast. It's a little overwhelming right now."

"Do you want me to go?" _Please say no. Please say no._

"No, this is great. I just…don't know how to react. Forgive me."

"Forgive you? There's nothing to forgive, darlin'." I twine my fingers with hers and I'm amazed again at the softness of her hands and the zing of electricity between us.

"Jasper, listen. I don't want to cause you trouble. I'm already in deep enough with James. If he saw us together…" She releases my hand and she trails off.

"You would have trouble if I held your hand?" She nods. "If we're seen together too much?" She nods again. "Tell me, Bella, do you want to see me?"

She looks at the ceiling, then down at our clasped hands, squeezing my hand tightly. "I do, Jasper, I really do. It's just...complicated."

"It's not complicated. Just quit. I could take-"

"Don't fucking say you'll take care of me. Don't even think that. Just believe me when I say it's complicated. Let's just eat our breakfast and get to know a bit about each other and not talk about complications right now. Okay?"

I take a deep breath. She didn't say she would leave James, but she didn't say she wouldn't. I have to trust that she knows what she's talking about. Trusting women has always gotten me into trouble, but I don't have much choice in this situation.

"Okay, Bella. Let's eat." I leave the rest unsaid. I'm not sure I can concede that I won't think about taking care of her. It's all I want to do.

Long minutes pass as we sip our teas and nibble on the Danishes. I can't help but stare at her, but when she glances at me, we both look quickly away. The easy banter that we have enjoyed in the past has morphed into anxiety and awkwardness.

"I…," we both start at the same time.

"You first." I gesture for her to continue.

"I'm sorry, Jasper. I shouldn't have been short with you. I'm just not sure how this is going to work, and I can't see anything but problems." She looks at her hands slowly shredding a napkin in her lap. I grab her hands, rubbing the backs gently with my thumbs until she lifts her eyes to mine.

"Bella, I know this won't be easy. I know we're the most unlikely people to try a friendship or relationship, but I'd like to try. Can we deny this attraction between us? I don't want to anymore."

She gazes at our entwined hands and then glances back up at me, a shy smile on her face.

"I think...I think I'd like that, too."

* * *

A/N: I know it's short but this is the last chapter of the contest. Please, please, please go vote for your favorite, even if it's not mine. Thank you all who have given me love and reviews for this story!!!!

This story will continue after the contest is closed (and I return from Australia). If I do not reply to your reviews, I promise I read them all and I will write back when I return from holiday.

Big, huge-mongous thank yous and much love to my beta **mhl115**. Love you babe! Thanks for putting up with me while I'm on vacation half-way around the world. I swear, any mistakes are all me and my crazy editing post-beta…I think there's probably a law against that.


	6. Burn for You

Disclaimer: Not mine. Enjoy and see you below!

***********************  
You and I are lovers  
When night time folds around our bed  
In peace we sleep entwined  
And your love flows through me  
Though an ocean soothes my head  
I burn for you, I burn for you

~Burn For You, The Police

* * *

**BPOV**

I wake slowly to shaking and a faint whispered "Bella."

"Ugh, Rose, go away. Can't a girl get a little sleep?" I roll over and try to ignore her figure hovering over me.

"The doc's here. Says he wants to see you, but I can send him away." She jerks her thumb in the direction of the living room, and I realize she means here as in my apartment.

Suddenly, I'm wide awake and my pulse is racing. I sit up quickly and almost knock my head against Rose's. "Wait! Who's here?"

"Your doctor. Remember him, sex god with a stethoscope, who rescues girls in the rain? Do you want me to make him leave? He's going to be nothing but fucking trouble, you know." She sits at the edge of my bed, waiting for my answer.

I know Rose is right. I know it. I just can't accept it right now. I've been dreaming about him constantly since I met him two days ago and I have to talk to him again. I absently rub my palm with my fingers, feeling the ghost of his lips there.

"Rose, can you stay in here for a few minutes? I'll tell him to leave."

She flops onto the bed with a large sigh and I walk into the living room full of doubt and uncertainty. I know what we said to each other in that small hospital room. We need each other. But, out here in the real world, there's much more to consider. How can we be together?

Jasper is standing with his back to me facing the bookcase, his long fingers tracing along the bindings. He has showered and changed since last I saw him and his jeans are sitting low on his hips. I lick my lips in anticipation, imagining how he might taste.

_Whoa, where did that come from? Bella Swan, actually feeling lust?_

He turns towards me suddenly and I blurt out the first nonsense in my head. "Didn't expect to see you again so soon. Find something you like?"

He stares at me and I feel the reflexive heat in my cheeks, unable to control my body's responses to him. I remind him that he was staring at my books and we talk briefly about the literary genius that I try to surround myself with. I like talking to Jasper, especially about my passions. He mentions school and my heart drops as I'm reminded of the large number of reasons this man won't want me. Perhaps his body wants me, but what it comes down to is I'm an uneducated, penniless whore. Really, not a lot going for me in the girl-to-take-home-to-mother category.

We sit on the couch until he hands me the most beautiful lily I have ever seen. My mother used to grow lilies in our garden and, for a moment, I'm transported to happy days in the sunshine, helping her with watering her flowers. He mentions that he grows the lilies himself and I almost gasp as the pain of reality catches up with me. I have to quickly excuse myself to mask my emotional state. This dear, sweet man has no idea what he's getting himself into.

I quickly change into jeans and a t-shirt, ignoring Rosalie's pleas for me to not make this mistake and Jasper's pleas to go back to bed. We almost get out the door before I fall into Jasper's arms, completely overcome with dizziness. I relish in the contact for a minute not quite hearing or comprehending his insistence that I stay on the couch while he grabs breakfast. My heart speeds as I realize he'll be leaving me again and last time he didn't return. Well, I suppose, he did, but I still only agree to stay put after he promises to return.

As soon as the door closes behind him, Rose rushes out of the bedroom and verbally accosts me.

"Seriously? You are letting him stay here? What the hell are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that he may be the best thing that's ever happened to me, and maybe I can enjoy it for a day."

"B, you're going to break his fucking heart."

"Yeah. Maybe." _I know I'll be breaking mine._

Rose helps me to the bathroom so I can brush my teeth and she slowly brushes the tangles from my hair. I look up at her stern face and I can't help but worry.

"What else can I do, Rose? What would you do?"

"If I met the man of my dreams? A man I could love?"

I nod, tears starting to build in my eyes.

"Either make him leave or leave myself. Love isn't forever and what will you do when he leaves in a few months? After you've told James to go fuck himself? You'll be back on the streets with no one to turn to and nowhere to go. Is it worth the risk?"

In my head, I'm screaming, "Yes! Yes, it's worth that risk and everything I have!" I hang my head, realizing I have one chance, one day of bliss and then I have to let him go. He would leave me, just like the others. Promises of a new future, one of love and happiness, would never come true. Reality in the form of James would knock on his door and he would be gone.

"No, you're right, it's not worth it." Even I hear the stark defeat in my voice. "But today, Rose, today I will be happy. He and I can have one day."

"You be careful. This is not something to play with."

"I promise to be careful." I stand and give her a hug, holding her tightly as her arms encircle me. I can see the tears in her eyes, too, as we pull away from each other.

"I'm going to leave before he gets back. Call me later?"

I nod and she exits the bathroom to gather her things from the bedroom. I sit on the couch as she puts on her shoes and heads for the door.

"B, I'm not going to say I approve, but I do understand." I look at the seriousness in her eyes, and I know she's known this pain. She opens the door and I can hear her talking to someone in the hall and I smile when I realize it must be Jasper.

_He came back!_ I'm so overwhelmed by the things I should say and the things I want to do, but, at this very moment, I'm just happy that he came back to me.

He joins me on the couch with cups of steaming hot tea and raspberry Danishes. As he hands me my cup, our hands brush and I blush again furiously. I haven't blushed this much since I was seven.

"Do I embarrass you, Bella?" Jasper's soft words wash over me. I almost snort at the ridiculousness of his statement. _A hooker embarrassed? Please._

"No, it's not really embarrassment. I'm just not used to this kind of attention. First a flower and now breakfast. It's a little overwhelming right now." Who am I kidding? I haven't had this much attention ever. Even my parents, when they could stand the sight of me, never gave me presents for no reason, or touched me...

"Do you want me to go?" Startled by his question, I gaze into his eyes. He seems to be imploring me, for what I do not know.

"No, this is great. I just..." _Just what Bella?_ I'm just an emotional retard who sells her body for sex because no one I care about will touch me. _Oh yeah, that._ "Don't know how to react. Forgive me."

"Forgive you? There's nothing to forgive, darlin'." He grasps my hand, and I shiver as the Jasper-buzz zings through me once more. I have to stop this now or we both won't be able to let go.

"Jasper, listen. I don't want to cause you trouble. I'm already in deep enough with James. If he saw us together…" I force myself to release his hand and my body immediately yearns for his touch again. My mind and heart are not far behind.

He reaches towards me again and pauses. His face steels as he opens his mouth. "You would have trouble if I held your hand? If we're seen together too much?" I nod to affirm his questions. "Tell me, Bella, do you want to see me?"

I can't look into his eyes any more. They will see the truth, he will know that I want nothing more but to erase this world and fall into his embrace. I tell him of the complications but he doesn't believe me. He thinks he can take care of me. This is what Rose warned me about. I can't let him take care of me because if he leaves me, or tires of me, or James runs him off, I will be much worse off than if I stop this now. I must stop this before I get too deep, but I don't want to hurt him. I just need to eat my breakfast and think of a way to escape with minimal damage.

But, then he says he wants to try. He wants to be my friend or possibly more. I can't deny the attraction either and trying isn't necessarily a bad thing. I can hear Rose in the back of my head screaming obscenities and hating the next words that come out of my mouth. How dare I hope for this?

I smile at him and he smiles back, a slow, lop-sided, beautiful smile. "I think...I think I'd like that, too." His smile broadens. "But we have to get some things clear." His mouth instantly falls into a frown. _This could be more difficult than I thought._

~0~0~0~0~

**JPOV **

At first I'm beyond elated that she wants to try a relationship with me, but then she qualifies it. I can see her walls rebuilding as she speaks and my heart sinks.

"We'll see how today goes, Jasper. I've been given some time off while I heal, so I know I won't be bothered to work for a little while."

My hands and jaw clench tight, at the mention of her job. She seems to sense my unease and traces her fingers along my knuckles.

She continues softly while rubbing my hands, "Whether you like it or not, I am a hooker. I won't change because you say you want to try, and I won't risk you for that either."

I raise my palm to her mouth to stop her talking. _Doesn't she understand? I would risk everything for her._

"Bella, I..." _How do I put this so she doesn't run away screaming?_ "I don't want to just try. I want to hold you forever. I want to feel your lips against mine every day. And, most of all, I don't want to share you with anyone."

Tears fill her eyes and she blinks rapidly, but several spill down her cheeks. I brush my thumb along her jaw to wipe them away and she grasps my hand in hers. She presses her full lips to the palm of my hand tenderly, and I don't miss the gesture, but I need more than gestures. This need overwhelms all rational thought and I pull her into my lap, pausing with my lips centimeters from hers.

"Tell me to stop, Bella." I beg. "If you don't say it, I won't be able to do it on my own."

"Please. Don't stop."

I lower my lips to hers gently, although my body is shaking with the control necessary to go slow and savor every sensation. Our lips mold together slowly, burning heat searing across our skin. I feel her tongue sweep across my lip and open my mouth slightly to taste her. Our tongues touch tentatively and slowly explore each other's mouths, tasting the bliss of this union. She whimpers into my mouth and I pull back, noticing that her eyes are closed and tears are coursing down her cheeks.

"Baby, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"No, no, not at all. I've just...never been kissed like that," she explains among sniffles. "I haven't been kissed in years, actually. It's so much more than I ever imagined it could be."

I sigh and pull her back to me, holding her close and placing small kisses over her cheeks, eyes, jaw, neck, everywhere I can reach. I need her to know how precious she is, that she deserves this. That her life can change and we can be together. We can be _happy_ together.

"Bella, my darlin'..." I begin, but Bella quiets me by placing her lips gently on mine again.

"Please, Jasper. Don't stop." Those words repeated are my undoing.

Our mouths move together slowly, lips tugging, tongues tangling, electricity zinging between us. Our arms are tightly wrapped around each other, trying to pull our bodies closer. I lose myself in the feel of her lips and her warmth surrounding me. We lean together onto the cushions and our kissing slows to small touches on skin. I kiss Bella's temples and eyelids as she tries to stifle a yawn.

"Bella, darlin', I should get you back to bed. You haven't had near enough sleep for the night you had."

She protests weakly but only wraps her arm around my shoulders as I lift and carry her into the bedroom. I gently lay her on the bed and pull the sheets and comforter up to her chin. I turn to find a place to sit while she sleeps but I feel a strong grip on my wrist.

"Uh uh, mister," she says blearily. "You aren't going anywhere this time. Please stay with me."

I consider for a minute and realize my body is utterly exhausted and sleep is pulling at me. Climbing in next to her, on top of the comforter, she starts to laugh.

"Jasper, honestly. Take off your belt and jeans and get under the covers. I promise I won't bite." She grins coyly. "This time," she adds.

I smirk at her and quickly remove my jeans and shirt and slide under the sheet with her in my boxers. She hums appreciatively as I pull her back into my chest so I can keep her warm and enveloped in my arms. Her head is nestled near my shoulder and I can feel her warm breath on my bicep. Soon, her breathing slows as she drifts off to sleep.

I lay there for a long time just relishing in the feel of her skin on mine, at her pulse beating beneath my fingers wrapped around her small frame. I nuzzle into her hair and breathe in the strong freesia scent, this time not covered by cheap cologne or the tang of blood.

Memories from last night when she arrived in the ER so pale and broken flood into my mind. I know she didn't fall, that some fucker probably beat her. I want to ask her for the truth, but I also know that the truth would not be pretty. And I might want to go break someone's head. I sigh, because even though I often won't like it, I want to know everything about her. How did she get here? Where is her family? Hell, what's her favorite color? And what did she think of Fight Club the movie versus the book? I just need to know her. That is the absolute truth.

A shudder runs down my spine as I realize I haven't felt this strongly about anything in my life. Not medicine. Not my own family. Just her.

I hug her body to mine and she wiggles slightly in my arms, warmth and goodness. I drift into dreamless sleep, a small smile on my face.

I'm startled awake by Bella thrashing and yelling unintelligible things in her sleep. I sit up as I pull her into my lap. My arms are still holding her close and I whisper in her ear, trying to calm her down. Eventually she stops struggling and collapses in a sobbing heap, her mahogany locks falling over her face.

"Shh, Bella. It's okay, darlin'." I continue to console her as I smooth her hair back from her face, just wanting to see her eyes. "What's wrong, baby? Did you have a nightmare?"

She nods her head but continues to gasp and sniffle, unable to form words at the moment. I wait silently as I hug her close and rock us back and forth, hoping to provide some measure of comfort. She begins to mumble under her breath and I lean closer to pick up the words.

"It was just a dream. It was just a dream..." She closes her eyes and leans into my neck as we continue to rock slowly.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

She looks at me with fear-widened eyes. "It was horrible, Jasper. James came here and threatened you, threatened me. Then there was so much blood, so much blood." Her tears flow hot down her cheeks and down my chest as she collapses against me again.

"It's okay, baby. It was a dream. Dreams can't hurt us."

"Dreams may not be able to hurt you, Jasper, but James sure as hell can. Maybe this was my subconscious trying to warn us."

"Stop it, Bella. This guy is not going to scare me off. I already dealt with him in the hospital and I will deal with him again if I have to."

"In the hospital, you had security guards. Here, he would kill you."

I shake my head and begin to protest, but she cuts me off.

"I'm serious, Jasper. I've seen him when he's angry, and I won't chance you being hurt if you get in his way."

"Bella, I'm serious, too. I'm not going anywhere without you. James won't stop me. No one will stop us from being together."

"Don't you understand, Jasper? I won't have you dragged into this when it could mean your life. James is not one to piss off. I will not have you fight for me. I'm not worth it." She bursts into tears again and starts to turn away from me.

I'm taken aback by the statement and I don't know even how to retort. _Not worth it?_ This creature has obviously been through hell and I'm not sure that she's back from it yet. She's strong and confident mixed with sweetness, insecurity and doubt. I have not met a more enthralling and infuriating mixture before.

"What do you mean 'not worth it'? I'm not entirely sure that's your decision to make." I squeeze her once to emphasize my point.

She looks up at me forlornly and shakes her head. "Jasper, you don't know what you're talking about. I've done really bad things. I've seen really bad things. All the people that have loved me have been hurt by me and end up leaving me, hating me. I'm not a good person and you really should be running in the other direction. I couldn't handle it if you got hurt because of me or you hated me."

"Wait, wait, back up, darlin'. What about these people who loved you? Rose loves you and she's definitely got your back." I chuckle lightly remembering our conversations this morning, but stop quickly as the look on Bella's face hasn't changed.

"Rose is the only one. Everyone else is gone. My parents, my family, even... Just everyone."

I didn't miss the pause after mentioning her family and the defeat in her voice. The fact that her family abandoned her is something I can't understand. My family would fight for the people they love, and I am no different. This may not be love that I feel for Bella, but it's strong whatever the fuck it is. I would fight for her.

I _will _fight for her.

I grasp her hands and wait until she raises her face to look into my eyes. I want her to know that I'm deadly sincere.

"Bella, I won't pretend that I know what you have lived through. I don't know your story, although I do hope you'll share it with me some day, but I will gladly fight for you. Whatever it takes to prove this to you, so you will believe me without a doubt, I will do. So, tell me, Bella. How can I show that I care?"

"If you really care about me and don't want to hurt me, walk away now. This will only end in blood and tears."

I sigh and run my hand through my hair. I can tell that she is worried about James's reaction to us being together, but since I want her to quit anyway, I can't think it will be that bad. I decide that we both might need a little space to think and I know Emmett is dying to know how things went.

I quickly glance at the alarm clock. It reads 4:09. Shit, we've slept the whole day.

"Okay, Bella, I'll leave you to think, but I'll be back here in a second if you want me to." I quickly grab a pen and paper on her nightstand and write my cell number on it. "This is my cell and I always have it with me. Call me any time."

She nods quickly and I feel a pang through my chest as a look of relief crosses her face. I pull on my jeans and shirt and stand to leave.

"Thanks, Jasper. I know this is the right thing. You'll see." Her voice is very small and sounds like she's trying to convince someone, maybe herself.

"I don't think so, Bella, but I will do as you wish." _For now._

I walk into the living room, gathering the discarded napkins and cold drinks, dumping them in the sink before putting the trash in the bin. I put on my shoes and jacket and let myself out of the apartment. Standing on the other side of the door, I take a deep breath. I'm slightly disappointed that she didn't call after me, or rush into my arms. I snort at my foolishness. Bella has obviously been hurt by many people, repeatedly, and one declaration from me won't change her mind. Remembering that Emmett should be at the bar by this time of day, I text him to warn him I'm stopping by and run down the stairs to the street.

Arriving at the bar minutes later, I choose a seat on the end to avoid the majority of the patrons. Emmett spots me as I enter and waves while he's talking to another customer. I glance over the beer list, although it never changes and I could have recited it from memory.

Emmett eventually walks over to me and I order a lager. When he sets the glass in front of me, I take a deep drink, avoiding the inevitable questions for a moment of hoppy bliss. When I lower my glass, Emmett's eyebrows are raised with his gaze is fixed on me.

"Not that it's really that early, but is is for you. And I love the company, but why are you here and drinking at four in the afternoon on a Sunday?" He towels off his hands and leans onto the bar, his large forearms resting on the surface.

"Well," I begin, running a hand through my hair. With all that's happened in the last few hours, I'm not entirely sure where to begin. "Uh, I just came from Bella's place."

"The hooker?" I glare at him but he just shrugs and continues. "How'd that go?"

"I'm not entirely sure. It seemed to be going well. I really thought we wanted the same things. And we kissed." I smile and touch my lips, remembering the taste of her.

"And?" Emmett wiggles his eyebrows at me and I chuckle and shake my head.

"And we fell asleep together."

"Fell asleep? Not slept together?" I glare at him again. He raises his hands as if to ward off my stare. "Okay, okay. Geesh. Did you even make it to second base?"

"Uh, no. We kissed and then she was tired so we took a nap in her bed. But, then she had a nightmare and got really freaked out and told me to leave. So, now I'm confused and I'm here. What sage advice do you have now, oh wise one?"

"Things were good?" I nod. "And then she had a nightmare and things were bad?" I nod again. "Did anything else happen?"

"She said that she dreamt of a lot of blood. Mostly she just talked about how she didn't deserve me. Oh, and how her pimp was going to run me off."

"Run you off? Or make sure you never came back again?"

"She said he was dangerous, but people don't really do that, do they? That's just ridiculous that he would try to kill me. Isn't it?"

"Dude, I have to pour a couple drinks, but I'll be back in a second. Believe me, I do not want to miss a moment of this. This is the best story ever!"

I watch Emmett pouring beers and mixing drinks for a few minutes trying to organize my thoughts. I honestly thought Bella had been exaggerating. I mean, come on. No one would seriously try to kill me for dating her or trying to get her to quit. Still, there's no denying the fear I saw in her eyes. I hope I made the right choice by putting the ball in her court. Now it's up to her to contact me.

My thoughts are interrupted by Emmett bounding back with excitement in his eyes.

"Okay, bro, sorry about that. Where were we? Right, you were trying to convince me that a pimp isn't dangerous when someone is getting between him and his girls and I was about to tell you that you should take it easy. I don't know who her pimp is, but there are some guys around here who wouldn't hesitate to fuck your shit up."

"His name is James," I sigh into my beer.

"Really? I know that dude and he falls into that 'won't hesitate' category. Actually, he's got a couple girls that come in here pretty regular to wait for their 'dates'." Emmett actually uses air quotes and I try not to laugh. "One chick's a fucking blond knock-out with a sailor mouth. She won't give me the time of day, though I never tire of trying."

Well, that fits the description of someone I know. "You know Rose?"

"Yeah. Maybe she could help you. She works for James, maybe she knows your girl."

"Actually, they're best friends. And Rose has-"

"Wait a second. Your Bella is "B?" Holy fuck! This changes everything!"

"What changes? She said she doesn't want me and that I'll be better off without her. I don't know how to convince her that she's wrong." I shake my head while looking at my hands, really fucking hoping that my blurred vision isn't actual tears, because Emmett would never let me live that shit down.

"No, Jasper, if this is B we're talking about, I understand this situation so much more. Man, she must've freaked over the flowers. She never thinks she deserves anything good from life. She's had a lot of shit thrown at her and she's got no one except Rose."

"Yeah, I gathered that much. So, you think I should just wait for her now? What if she doesn't call me?" I frown as I think of that possibility. That can't happen, I won't allow her to shut me out completely.

"Just give her a few days to process. I'm sure she'll come around. And, if not, Rose comes in here fairly regularly and I'll put in a good word for you." He reaches over the bar and claps one large paw on my shoulder. "Don't worry, man, it'll all work out."

I nod silently and he wanders down the bar to tend to his customers. I finish the rest of my beer in silence, contemplating my next move. Maybe Emmett's right. I should give her a few days to call me. If I don't hear from her, I'll go back to her apartment or try to find Rose. Thankfully, I know Bella won't be out on the street for at least that long, needing time to recover from her injuries. Just thinking about her back out on the street makes my blood boil, and I clench my fists to relieve some of the tension.

I need to get out of here and think. I throw a twenty on the bar, knowing I just gave Emmett a huge tip, but the going rate for listening to my whining is probably more than that. I walk back to my car and drive the short distance to my apartment. I watch a little television, eat dinner and go to bed early as I have a twelve-hour shift the next day. My last thoughts before drifting off are of Bella's big brown eyes, begging me to understand.

I wake the next morning to my alarm clock and immediately check my phone for missed calls. Nothing.

Thank God my day is mostly uneventful, unlike most Mondays. It's continuously busy with two multiperson traumas filling the ER, but nothing my team couldn't handle. I return home too exhausted to even contemplate cooking. I order takeout and check my phone at regular and frequent intervals. Nothing.

The next two days pass similarly and I start to bury myself in my work, although I can't help but check my phone. Always nothing.

By Thursday morning, I'm fairly certain I will go crazy. It's my day off from work, and I won't have the distraction of the ER. After busying myself with laundry and cleaning all morning, around noon I've run out of things to occupy my mind. I'm sitting on my couch, staring at my phone and debating about just walking to Bella's apartment.

Then my phone rings. Unknown number.

My heart starts working overtime as I take a deep breath and answer. "Hello?"

.

.

* * *

A/N: Sorry this has been so long coming, but I have had MAJOR writer's block for this story. Fortunately for everyone, I am now unblocked and ready to finish this. This isn't going to be a terribly long story, maybe another 4-5 chapters. So stick with me, we're almost there.

Big thanks to my beta, mhl1115. As always, you help make things flow and give me the encouragement to continue. Hug and kisses.


	7. Bring on the Night

**Disclaimer: The lovely and talented Ms. Meyer owns all things Twilight. Thanks for reading!** See you below... (I give up trying to fix FF re-editing...sorry)

*********************************  
The future is but a question mark  
Hangs above my head there in the dark  
Can't see for the brightness  
Is staring me blind  
God bid yesterday goodbye

"Bring on the Night" ~ The Police

* * *

**BPOV**

I watch Jasper walk out my bedroom door. I hear him moving around in the living room as my heart is tearing in two. I want to call him back, but my voice is stuck in my throat. My words won't leave my mouth. _Please, Jasper. Don't leave me. I don't know what I'm saying._

My sensible side takes this opportunity to remind me why I told him to leave. James. The man who would hurt the ones I love. _Wait! What? Love?_

Love is impossible for me. Who could love me? The one who destroys everything, the one who makes others miserable, the one disowned by her own flesh and blood. I sell myself for other people's pleasure. My body belongs to another man, one who is very possessive of his property. I am nothing.

I hear the apartment door close and I collapse in on myself, trying unsuccessfully to fight the tears coursing down my face.

Oh Jasper! If only you could understand how desperately I want you to come back to me. How desperately I want to be wanted, I want your words to be true. How desperately I want the same things, to have you in return.

How did I get to this point? My life has meant nothing to anyone, just a paycheck for James, a receptacle for hundreds of men. What does Jasper see in me, that no one else, including me, can see? He must be delusional or blind. Although, doctor's aren't typically delusional. Arrogant, yes. Delusional, not so much.

Perhaps he has a save-the-world complex and he wants to save me. I know the truth, I'm not worth saving. He should save someone with fixable wounds, with purpose in her life. My scars are deep and will never heal. My life ended when I couldn't save my baby, and I lost my purpose when I sold my body for money.

I realize I'm sobbing uncontrollably and making a large wet mess of my t-shirt and sheets. I pull myself together and wipe my face with my shirt. Breathing slowly and deeply, I start to relax and take in my surroundings. The sun is starting to set and the room is steeped in shadows. I notice a small sheet of paper on the bedside table with a number and Jasper's name on it. The writing blurs as the tears again fill my vision. Jesus, this man is trying my resolve. I need reinforcements.

I quickly text Rose.

**Doc's gone. Need tequila. ~B**

Her response is just as quick. She must have been waiting for this.  
**  
Uh oh. Didn't go well? Fuck. Be there soon. ~R**

I smile when I realize she thinks _he_ fucked up. That _he_ is the reason I need the tequila to drown my sorrows. But it's just my same stupid life and my same stupid heart making me a blubbering idiot.

If I'm going to be drinking tequila, I had better put on some clothes. Bad things can happen with tequila, and it helps to have a head start with clothing. I grab a fresh shirt and jeans from my closet and quickly change while walking into the bathroom. My face is red and splotchy and I sigh as I splash some cold water over my eyes, hoping to look slightly presentable. I brush my teeth and hair, feeling more normal by the minute. Throwing my hair into a loose ponytail, I hear a knock at the door and Rose's voice calling down the hall.

"Bella? Hey! I brought your fucking tequila. That asshole better not have hurt you or I'll have his fucking balls. You hear me?"

"I hear ya', Rose," I yell back as I walk out to the living room.

Rose stands in front of the kitchen, long legs encased in thigh-high black leather boots, a small red miniskirt barely covering her, and a tight black tanktop accentuating her large breasts that are almost spilling out the top. She has her arms spread wide, one hand holding tequila, the other a bag of limes. _I love this girl._

"Jesus, Rose. Where have you been hanging out?"

"It's been a good day, Bella. I had five boys before noon and I wasn't even trying. This outfit is going to make me a fucking superstar." She smirks before tossing the limes at me and turning back to the kitchen to get shot glasses and a knife. Yeah, we're all class like that.

"With legs like those, I'm not even sure you need the boots."

She sits next to me on the couch, setting the bottle, glasses and knife on the coffee table before unzipping and removing the ridiculous boots. I giggle imagining myself in them, and the epic face plant that would result.

"They accentuate what I've already got. And most of the guys were much quicker with them on. And you know what that means."

"Less time, more dime. Yeah, I know." I sigh. This is just what I need. Rose is already pulling me back into my normal world, out of fantasy land where Jasper and I have our happily ever after.

"So," Rose begins, looking at me expectantly. "How'd it go?" She grabs the bottle and starts pouring as I cut the limes.

"Hold on just a second. I'm going to need a couple before I start blubbering my nonsense."

We each take a couple shots, grimacing at the burn and sucking on the limes to quench it. Ahh, tequila, my long lost friend. It burns so good.

"Okay, B. One more for the road and then spill." We clink shot glasses and down the amber liquid.

Shaking my head slightly from the lime, I set down the glass and slide back on the couch. Rose and I face each other in mirror positions, one leg tucked under and arm across the back of the couch.

"So? Doctor boy?"

"Um...yeah, well. He brought me breakfast..."

"I saw that, B. And I told him to not fucking break you or I would break him. How'd that go?"

"Well, we talked." She motions impatiently at me to hurry up with the story. "And we kissed." I can feel the blush spreading over my cheeks and I put my hands on my face to hide it.

"Seriously?" Rose pulls my hands from my face. "You're fucking blushing? Since when do you blush, especially over a kiss?"

"I don't know. Just since I met Jasper, I think."

"Well, he definitely has your panties in a twist. You haven't been thinking right since then either."

She pats my hand as I sigh, realizing that it's true. He's infiltrated my whole life. I was content before he showed up. I have an apartment, and Rose, and a job I don't hate. What more could a girl ask for?

"After the kiss, then what? You know, nice girls don't have sex on the first date." She wiggles her eyebrows at me and we both dissolve into hysterics.

"Well, we all know I'm not a nice girl." I manage to retort through my giggles.

"Okay, so after the sex, what happened?"

I'm immediately serious as I realize she just assumes that we would have sex. Because sex is nothing. "We didn't have sex, Rose. Just kissing and then we took a nap."

"And I thought I had heard all the euphemisms out there. That's a new one. 'Took a nap,' as if you could just sleep with him." She snorts, shaking her head, and begins to laugh, until she looks up at me.

I'm slightly appalled that she can't believe we just slept together, but I do have sex with random strangers for money. I would have the same incredulity if she said the same to me. "No, really. We just took a nap. We woke up around four when I had a nightmare, and I made him leave."

"You kicked him out? Why would you do that?"

"What do you mean, Rose? He can't be with me. Why would I torture myself like that? You said yourself he would never stay and I shouldn't believe he would."

"I know what I said, but I've been thinking more about this, B. He could be your ticket out of here. You could stop this, stop living like this. Why would you throw that away?"

"You know why." I shot her a dark look. _She doesn't remember the last time?_

"I know you're scared, but Jasper isn't _him_. I don't think he'd run at the first hint of trouble."

"But I would want him to run. I won't anyone put in danger because of me. And we both know James is danger."

"James is a lot of talk, but I don't think he'd actually hurt you or Jasper. You just have to tell him you're done. If you think Jasper is worth it, and I think you do, you should go talk to James."

"I don't know, Rose. You've seen James lately. He's becoming more possessive with each client I see. I don't even want to think about what happened to Felix."

"Yeah, I know. But James loses girls every year and doesn't even blink. It'll be fine." She gives me a half-hearted smile and I know that she doesn't even truly believe it.

"What about you, Rose? I can't leave you."

"You can leave me and you will. I won't have you stay in this life for me. Maybe I'll quit, too. I could get a job at a bar or something."

"Emmett sure has a thing for you. I bet you he'd give you a job." I wink at her and she shoves my shoulder.

"Are you kidding me? That guy hasn't said two words to me. But man, I could look at him all day. Who needs words?"

We both laugh, relieving some of the tension, but we quickly settle down, eying the tequila.

"We both need another shot and then we'll watch a movie or something," Rose suggests. I lean forward to cut more lime wedges and we each down a shot.

My toes and fingers start to tingle and I know the liquor is working its magic. Soon I will drift off to sleep with no dreams or nightmares and I can ignore everything until tomorrow. I flick on the TV and we settle in to watch some 80's movie with John Cusack. He's kind of hot in a nerdy, teenage way. We giggle and drink and generally forget about life for a while. This is why I love Rose. She makes my life feel normal, makes _me_ feel normal. Like we're just two college girls hanging out and watching movies.

We're curled up together on the couch, trying to decide what to watch next when Rose's phone beeps. "That's probably James, I need to get back to work."

I sigh and sit up, pleasantly buzzing and eager to go to bed.

"S'alright, Rosie. I'm fine." My words are slurred, but I'm fairly certain that Rose understands. I look blearily up at her and she laughs.

"Bella, you can not handle tequila. Here, let me get you to bed."

I let her half carry me to bed and pull her in for a tight hug, leaning into her tall frame. "Rosie, I love you. You're the best."

"I love you, too, B. And I'll get you some aspirin for that terrible hangover you're gonna have."

I lay down and hear her rustling around the room and turning off the lights.

"Night, B. I'll stop by tomorrow for breakfast," she says as she walks down the hallway.

"Night, Rose. Be safe," I call after her, sleep dragging me down.

"Always am," she responds. I hear the front door close and lock, and everything else fades to black.

~0~0~

The next morning, the sunlight is streaming in the window and I groan as I try to pull the covers over my eyes. The blood is pounding in my head and my stomach is rolling at the same rhythm. _Ugh, no more tequila on an empty stomach._

After several minutes of coaxing, my stomach decides not to empty itself and I make my way cautiously to the bathroom. Standing in the shower, the hot water melting away my pain and nausea, I think about yesterday with Jasper. The morning was heaven, pure heaven. I haven't been so excited or nervous or turned on in a very long time. And Jasper was perfect.

_Even when you kicked him out._

I feel the tears form unbidden when I remember his face, the hope fading from his eyes, as I told him to leave. My heart ripping and shredding in the process.

I don't understand how I have such a strong attachment to this man. I have known him for four days. Four days is nothing.

_You trusted Rose after four minutes. Four days is a lifetime._

Oh, God, I'm finally insane. I'm arguing with myself.

I huff and exit the shower, toweling off and putting on clean pajamas. I don't plan to leave the apartment, so I don't feel the need to really get dressed. I laze around, catching up on some reading and eating ice cream out of the container, generally feeling sorry for myself. Around noon, Rose calls and says she just woke up and will be over soon with some food.

She arrives shortly with hot meatball subs which we devour in record time, the only sounds are the moans of us enjoying the meal. When we're done and we've cleaned everything up, we go to the living room to relax.

"Well, B, now that you're sober, can we chat?"

"Don't you have somewhere to be? Some money to make?"

"You know I have today off. Where do I have to be?"

"You have the day off? Wait. What day is it?"

"It's Monday. Are you sure you should be up and about? Haven't hit your head again?"

"Fuck you, whore. Just because I don't know what day of the week it is, doesn't mean you can make fun of me."

"Sure, it does." She smiles at me, glad that I'm being feisty again. "That's what friends are for. And for kicking your ass, too."

"Why are you going to kick my ass, again?"

"Because you are moping and it's just wrong."

"Why is it wrong? I kicked him out. I told him to leave and he left. I think I can feel sad for a day or so."

"No, I don't think you can. You need to get over this or go get him. There are no other options."

"But he left me. He's gone." I can tell I'm edging onto whiny, and Rose is going to smack me soon.

"Oh, just shut up. Will you listen to yourself? 'He left me. I'm so helpless.'" she mocks, in a sing-song voice. "Grow up, B. He left because you asked him to. He left you his number in case you change your mind. You have every opportunity to get him back, and believe me he wants you back." I move to argue with her but she just clamps her hand over my mouth. "No, B. I won't let you interrupt me with your silly protests. That boy loves you. I'm not sure how or why, honestly, but he does. You pushed him away. So, either get over him and stop feeling sorry for yourself for your own actions, or go get him back. It's as simple as that."

"I'm not sure it's so simple, but I'll think about it. And I promise to not be mopey for the rest of the day."

"Great! Now what should we do?" Rose smiles brilliantly at me, and I know she's done with her rant.

We decide to get out my Wii and we play MarioKart and Super Mario Bros until the sun begins to fade. We order Chinese take-out and watch Simpson's reruns while we wait.

The delivery guy shows up a short while later and we eat while watching TV and making small talk. We make no mention of Jasper or James or my life choices haunting me. Eventually I must have dozed off, because next thing I know the room is dark and Rose is trying to lift me off the couch.

"Mmph. Rose, what's going on?"

"Just trying to get you to bed, silly girl."

I allow her to help me to bed and we both strip and climb under the covers. I'm glad Rose is here tonight. I'm not sure I want to be alone right now.

"Rose?"

"Hmmm?" Her voice is muffled by the comforter pulled over her head.

"I'm glad you're here," I mumble into my pillow.

"Me too, B."

I fall quickly into a dreamless sleep.

The morning sun slanting across my face wakes me, and I roll over and face Rose who's snoring softly. Behind her, I see the small piece of paper on the table, Jasper's number taunting me.

I flop onto my back, remembering his perfect face, perfect lips, perfect everything. Why would I mar that perfection by dragging him into my life? My world of darkness and heartache and pain. He will find out the truth of my parents' loathing, their abandonment, my shame, my loss, and all the depraved acts that I have performed willingly for money, for a _better_ life. How could he ever look at me again after he knew the truth? I hope for nothing.

A quiet sob escapes my lips and Rose's eyes open slowly. She pulls me into her as tears course across my face, pooling on the pillow.

"Oh, Sweetie. You can't keep torturing yourself. It will ruin you," she murmurs, while running her hand over my back soothingly.

"But, what if I choose Jasper and he leaves me? What if he doesn't love me enough?"

"You can't let the 'what if's run your life. What if you don't choose Jasper and it's the biggest mistake of your life? What if you regret that decision forever? Are those worse choices?"

"I don't know, Rose. I just don't know."

"I know you don't, Sweetie. And I will support you and help you with whatever choice you make." She glances at the clock quickly. "Ah, shit it's almost ten." She turns back to me and smiles encouragingly. "Want me to come back later? It'll be late. I have to work tonight."

I cringe when I think about returning to my job soon. It's never really bothered me before, but I feel different. Jasper makes me feel worth more. Rose stands and quickly gathers her clothes.

"Why don't I just talk to you tomorrow, Rosie? I'm just going to relax and catch up on some reading." I gesture to the large pile of books next to my bed and she chuckles.

"You and your happily ever afters. I'm sorry to be leaving so quickly, but I'll call you later," she calls over her shoulder on the way to the bathroom.

"Sounds good."

I hear the bathroom door close and the water run as she makes herself presentable. A short time later, Rose emerges fully dressed and ready to leave. Returning to the bedroom, as my lazy ass has yet to move, she sits beside me on the bed and wraps me in her arms.

"It'll work out, B. I know it will."

"You know, Rose, that actually makes me feel better."

"Actually? Like I'm never encouraging?"

"Not really."

Rose smacks my arm and grins at me, earning a loud "Ow!" from me.

"You totally deserved that, bitch. I won't be happy anymore. From now on, only fucking pissy bitch."

I giggle a little and hug her again. "Thanks, Rose."

"Anytime, B."

She stands and grabs her purse on the way out the door. I hear the front door close and flop back onto the pillows, willing my mind to stop racing.

I sigh and roll out of bed, deciding to get on with my day. I take a long shower, relishing the hot water streaming over my body. When my fingers begin to wrinkle, I turn off the water and step out. After drying myself, I wrap my over-sized robe around me and walk back to the bedroom.

If I'm going to relax and read today, I'm going to do this the right way. Selecting several books from the pile on the floor, I drop them quickly onto the coffee table and head into the kitchen. I brew a cup of tea and toast a bagel, bringing those to the couch as well. I snuggle under a blanket, grab a book and sip my tea. Slowly, I start to relax, the tension of the last few days seeping out of me.

I close the book I'm reading when my stomach growls and I wonder what time it is. The room is significantly darkened and I reach behind me to switch on the light. The clock on the wall reads 6:45.

Holy shit! I spent the whole day here in my little fantasy world!  
_  
Well, that's what you wanted isn't it?_

I ignore the snarky voice in my head as I pull the blanket off and trudge to the kitchen. I rummage through the pantry and refrigerator, deciding I had the ingredients to make pasta with garlic sauce. Comfort food it is.

After dinner, I watch a couple hours of TV, but decide to go to bed early. Laying down and staring at the ceiling, the last thoughts through my head are of Jasper. I'm no closer to a decision, but this day for myself has made my head clearer. It's like a mental reset button and I feel refreshed and renewed. I drift to sleep, visions of blonde hair and gray eyes swimming through my dreams.

I wake abruptly to Rose's ringtone screaming from my cell phone. I scramble for the phone on my bedside table, knocking it onto the floor.

"Shit!" I grab the phone and answer a little breathlessly.

"What the fuck are you doing, B? Is Jasper over? I don't want to interrupt."

"No, he's not here, Rose. You woke me up," I huff at her, indignant about her accusation.

"Jesus fuck, Bella. It's almost noon. You've been sleeping all day?"

"No, I'm up. I'm up," I reassure her as I sit up in bed and rub my eyes. "How'd last night go?"

"Same shit, different night. You know."

I did know. That also meant she didn't get any big money.

"Anyway, I was calling to let you know I'm coming over with lunch. What d'ya want?"

With that, my stomach growls loudly. "Whatever you bring is fine with me. I haven't eaten anything in forever."

"Okay, be there soon then." She hangs up and I sigh. _What would I do without Rose?_

By the time I'm brushing my teeth and hair, Rose knocks at the door. I race to the door, but she's already walking in, having used her own key.

"Sorry, I was in the bathroom," I explain, a little breathless.

"S'alright. That's why I have a key, so I don't have to wait for your slow ass." She chuckles at me and hands me a bag with sandwiches and chips as she removes her shoes and jacket.

"Thanks for bringing over lunch, Rose. I'm not sure I have much left here to eat."

"Not a problem. Plus, we need to talk." She looks seriously into my eyes and suddenly I'm a little afraid.

I never liked that phrase from Rose. It always meant bad news.

"Okay, well let's eat and we can talk." I smile at her, trying to dispel my feelings of dread.

We sit in the bar stools at the kitchen counter and I nibble at the hoagie she brought.

I take a deep breath, unable to contain my anxiety any longer.

"Shit, Rose, you're seriously freaking me the fuck out. Spit it out already."

"Jesus, Bella. Calm the fuck down, it's not that bad. It's just...I ran into Newton last night."

I choke on my sandwich and Rose whacks me on the back until I can breathe again.

"Dude, you have to warn a girl when you're going to do that."

"Sorry, B. I just thought you should know he was back in town."

"Wait, you saw Mike? Alive? James told me that he 'took care of him' and that Mike wouldn't be coming back."

Mike was the first regular who wanted me to quit hooking and be his girlfriend. At the time, I was fairly new to the business and believed him when he said he loved me. I told James I was quitting to be with Mike and James became livid. He locked me in his apartment and said he would go after Mike. I couldn't stop him. I never saw Mike again and I thought James had killed him.

"Yeah, well James lied. He may have threatened a little, but there was definitely no killing. He told Mike to leave you alone or things could be worse."

"All this time, I thought James killed him," I muse. Tears springing to my eyes.

"No, Bella. Mike does not deserve tears. James told him to fuck off and he did. He didn't even try for you, didn't fight at all."

"What are you trying to say, Rose?"

"When I saw Mike yesterday, he tried to hire me, like nothing had ever happened between him and you. He knew who I was, and wasn't even afraid to be seen with me, the little prick. So, I told him off for leaving and not trying for you. And you know what he said?"

I stare at her wide-eyed, shaking my head slightly.

"He said 'No real man will ever want a whore. You are all used trash.'" She takes a deep breath through gritted teeth and continues with a growl. "So, I punched him in the nuts."

I gasp and my hand covers my mouth, half at his words and half at Rose's response. _How could he say that? _ Mike once told me he loved me and would never leave me. The pain of this realization arcs through me and I stifle a sob. She reaches over and squeezes my arm.

"Bella, I know this is hard to hear, but he never wanted you. He wanted sex he didn't have to pay for. He is not worth your tears."

"He said he loved me," I try to explain. I'm rocked to my core when I think of Jasper, who has not declared his love. I was considering leaving James for Jasper, and he would leave me just the same. I should just accept that I will be alone.

The tears are flowing freely down my cheeks and Rose leans over and grasps my face in her hands, pulling my gaze to her.

"Ah, Bella. I know what you're thinking and you are wrong. Mike was always a sleaze, and I always said so. Jasper is _nothing_ like Mike. I think he may be the real deal."

"'May be' might not be good enough any more," I mumble, trying to break her intense gaze.

"Did you love Mike?"

"No," I sigh. I may have been willing to leave James with Mike with promises of love and a better life, but I never loved him.

"Do you love Jasper?" she questions, still staring intently into my eyes.

"What?!" I back up involuntarily, shocked by her question.

"Do you love Jasper?" She enunciates each word clearly, like speaking to a child.

"Uh, I don't know. I mean, I like...hell, I'm not sure."

Rose laughs and releases my face. I open and close my mouth, flexing my jaw newly freed from her grasp.

"Well, I think you need to figure that part out first, and then you will have your answers."

"I didn't know philosopher-Rose was coming to visit," I joke, trying to lighten the mood.

"Well, you never know what you're going to get when you open the door. It's part of the mystery that is me." I laugh with her and we finish our sandwiches.

"Bella, I can't stay tonight. I have a client at four and need to get ready."

"Of course, Rose. I'm sorry you girls are all busier because I'm not working."

"Whatever. You'd do the same for us. Oh, and you should call James. I think he has plans for you this weekend."

I shudder thinking about that phone call and decide I should do it tonight so he didn't get too pissed off.

"Sure thing, Rose. I'll call him tonight."

"Excellent. Anyway, don't be mopey. Think through your options, but please, follow your heart."

"I will. Don't worry, I will."

I walk Rose to the door and she gives me a tight hug before leaving.

"I love you, B. And I will help you with whatever you decide."

"I love you, too, Rosie. And I know you will."

"Talk to you soon, whore," she calls over her shoulder while walking down the stairs. I shake my head and shut the door.

I clean up my apartment and read a little, biding my time until I need to call James. I wait until six to make sure he'll be awake. He answers on the first ring.

"Bella?"

"Yeah, hi James. How's it going?"

"Fucking great now! Haven't heard from ya, but that bitch Rose said you been sleepin' a bunch, so I let it go. I was worried, ya know, wonderin' if I needed to come over."

"No, no, James. I'm good." _Shit, I couldn't have him come here. _ "Just needed some time to rest and heal, but I'm feeling much better."

"Right. Oh, I've a job for ya' Saturday. Guy's a repeat. Some fancy shit. I'll have details Friday and I'll call ya'."

"Sounds good, J. When did you want me back out at night?"

"Next Monday, yeah? But, let me know how Saturday goes."

"Okay."

"Gotta go, B. Call me tomorrow."

"Alright. Talk to you then," I respond, but he's already hung up. _Fucking ass._

So, Saturday is my first job since Felix. I should be ecstatic that James gave me a week off. Jess barely got 2 days, and she had more stitches than me. I just can't bring myself to be happy about going back to work, to letting another man touch me after Jasper.

_So, what are you going to do about it, Bella? _ Let Jasper go? Ask him what his intentions are?

What are my intentions? Do I love him? Do I want to be loved?

I don't know much, but the answer to the latter is easy. Of course, I want to be loved.

I can imagine a life with Jasper. The house with the white picket fence. I could go to school, perhaps become an English teacher. I could become someone respectable, worthy of having a doctor as a husband.

_Husband? Where did that come from? _

I had never thought of marriage for me before. Not even when I was pregnant. I was never that foolish that anyone would want me that way.

Jasper has changed all my preconceptions of myself. When I'm with him, I feel like I could accomplish something, be somebody, like I could matter.

I felt like this once, when I was a teenager, when all my dreams weren't broken. I remember my dreams of going to college, getting a degree, perhaps teaching at the university. I also had dreams of a family, introducing a boy to my parents, their beaming smiles accepting my love into the family.

When I got pregnant and my parents shoved me out of their lives, my dreams were trampled under their feet as they tossed me onto the streets. I made one small mistake and didn't conform to their expectations, and they washed their hands of me. I was an embarrassment, something they couldn't explain to their country club friends.

But now, today, I have hope again. Jasper has brought me hope. And love.

I smile.  
_  
I love him. I really do._

I yawn widely and look around at the surrounding darkness. I've been sitting and thinking in the bar stool for hours and my muscles are stiff and sore. My head is throbbing and I'm suddenly exhausted. I need to readjust my internal clock, or I'll never make it through a night of work.

I fall into bed and am asleep before my head hits the pillow.

I wake and it's still dark out, but I am calm.

I have decided. I will call Jasper today.

I wait until noon and nervously dial his number. It takes three tries, but I finally get the number correct. I listen to the ring in my ear, worrying my lip with my teeth. Then I hear his rough voice, and all my fears melt away.

"Hello?"

"Jasper?"

"Bella? Is that you? Oh, thank God."

I giggle. "Yes, it's me. Uh, I'd like to see you if that's okay."

"That's more than okay. When do you want to meet?"

"How about dinner? I need to get out of my apartment." I sniff myself, suddenly wary that I'm not very fresh.

"That sounds great. I'll come get you. Around five?"

I chuckle. "Isn't five a little early for dinner?" I hear him inhale to reply, but I quickly interrupt. "You know what? Five is great. I can't wait to see you either."

He laughs, too. "It's that obvious, is it?"

"Yeah, but I like it," I admit. I'm sure my face is a brilliant shade of red as I blush furiously.

"Bella, I can almost hear your blush."

"Yeah, well. I'm still not used to this."

"I hope you will be someday, Sweetness. I really do."

I can feel tears spring to my eyes. Does he even know how sweet he is?

I clear my throat and change the subject. "Right. Well, five then?"

"Sure. I'll see you then."

"See you." I hang up reluctantly, smiling at the phone as his number fades from the display.

My first date with Jasper. _I hope I don't fuck this up._

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* * *

**A/N:** Bet you didn't expect this so soon...well, me neither!

I just want to say that my beta, mhl1115, is the fuck-awesomest. I swear. Sent her this on Saturday, back to me on Sunday. If you appreciate this as much as I do, you should send her some love... And, embarrassingly, I have lost the ability to distinguish "their" and "there", but she has me all straightened out. I've never gotten all those silly comma rules correct. Any mistakes in here are all me editing post-beta. Bad bad bmango...

I've got this story all planned to 11 chapters, so not much longer now... Thanks for sticking with me, my loyal few... Reviews = my happiness!! Love you all! Mango, out.


	8. Walking on the Moon

**Disclaimer: The lovely and talented Ms. Meyer owns all things Twilight. Thanks for reading!** **See you below...**

* * *

Some may say  
I'm wishing my days away.  
No way.  
And if it's the price I pay.  
Some say  
Tomorrow's another day.  
You'll stay.  
I may as well play

"Walking on the Moon" ~The Police

* * *

**JPOV**

At ten to five, I'm pacing outside Bella's apartment building, debating about just knocking on her door early. I'm both giddy as a school girl and a fucking nervous wreck and I can't believe it's been four days since I've seen her; since I left my heart on a small piece of paper in her room.

Four fucking long days.

My nerves were raw with worry that she wouldn't call me, but she did. And, honestly, she seemed pretty excited to talk to me, and to see me.

I can't take the waiting any longer and I sprint up the steps two at a time to her apartment door. I pause for a second catching my breath before knocking.

I hear a loud crash from behind the door and Bella cursing before the door flies open and she's standing before me, breathless and blushing and the absolute most beautiful creature I have ever seen. My breath catches in my throat at the sight of her, and I close the distance between us quickly, gathering her in my arms.

Our mouths are centimeters apart and I feel her warm breath caressing my lips. I search her eyes for any hesitance, and in that moment, she pulls me to her, kissing me until I feel light headed. Her fingers wind into my hair and she tugs slightly, making me groan and tilt my head to deepen the kiss.

_Jesus, I've missed her._

Eventually, I pull back from her and she's smiling brilliantly at me.

"Well, cowboy, if that's the way you're going to greet me, we're definitely doing this more often."

I chuckle and wholeheartedly agree. "Really, Bella, I would be happy if that was the majority of what we did together." I wiggle my eyebrows at her, making her laugh and throw her head back.

She playfully smacks me on the arm. "Hmmm. Where did my gentleman go? Not that I really mind."

"Oh, he's still around here somewhere. Do you want me to get him?"

"No, no Jasper. Really, that was wonderful, but now I'm going to expect that more often."

"I'll see what I can arrange."

We break our embrace and she hands me her coat. I finally take a look at her and she's wearing a black dress that fits like a second skin, ending a couple inches above her knee. I have seen most of her body before, but to think that she dressed up for me, made an effort for me, makes my heart beat faster.

Could it be that we're on the same page? Does she want me too?

_Whoa, Jasper. Slow down, take a breath. Let's see what tonight brings, shall we?  
_  
I take a deep breath, calming my inner anxiety and hopes. Bella turns and I help slide her coat onto her shoulders. When she turns back to me, I offer her my arm.

"Shall we, Bella?"

She giggles before slipping her hand into the crook of my elbow. "We shall, Jasper."

We exit her building and walk the two blocks to this amazing Italian restaurant that I've tried a few times. The sauces are all homemade and the bread is always warm from the oven.

When we enter the restaurant, Bella smiles up at me. "This is one of my favorite spots to eat in the neighborhood. They have amazing desserts."

"I've never saved enough room for dessert."

"Well, then this will be a new experience for you." She smiles again as we follow the hostess to a booth in the back.

I assist Bella with removing her coat and hang it next to mine, before sliding onto the bench next to her.

She grins as she grabs my hand and drags it into her lap. I awkwardly open a menu one handed as Bella grabs the other half with her free hand.

"This is alright, isn't it?" she questions.

"More than alright, darlin'. This is perfect." _Jesus, when did I turn into such a pansy? This is getting a little ridiculous._ I roll my eyes at myself and Bella giggles a little.

"Are you always this sappy, Jasper? Or is it just around me?"

"Honestly, just around you. Most of the time, I am a regular all-American guy that likes beer and pizza and football. Then I talk to you, and I become this romantic dork."

"Well, if we're being honest, I really like romantic dorks. Especially, those with a southern accent."

"Darlin', if it's southern you want, it's southern you'll get," I drawl at her, emphasizing my normal slight twang.

Bella laughs loudly, covering her mouth with her free hand, while squeezing mine with the other. I love to make her laugh.

Our waiter comes by and I order a glass of red wine and the lasagna while Bella orders a glass of white wine and the chicken alfredo. He quickly returns with our drinks and I lift my glass to Bella.

"What should we toast to?"

She pauses, biting her lip for a second, before her face becomes serious. "To rescuing girls from the rain."

"To rescuing girls," I repeat, smiling back at her.

As our glasses clink together, I hope that the sentiment comes true, that I can rescue her from this life, from her darkness.

Our waiter delivers our food shortly and I sense her need to lighten the mood. We eat while I regale her with stories from the ER. She asks dozens of questions about my work and the cases I have seen. She tells me about the books she's been reading recently and we banter about favorite authors and genres.

"Ugh, I am totally stuffed," she huffs, pushing her empty plate away from her.

"Me, too. I guess, we won't be getting dessert this time."

"Well then, next time, we'll split a dinner to save room."

"Next time," I agree and smile broadly at her. _Next time._ We stand and I help her with her coat again. She blushes and ducks her head, but I lift her face with a finger under her chin. I kiss her gently and gaze into her chocolate eyes.

"How do you feel about a walk in the park?" I continue, not wanting the night to end.

"That sounds wonderful," she sighs. "Lead away, my shining knight."

"I don't think I'm the only one who's a romantic dork, darlin'."

"Oh, I never said I wasn't a romantic." She winks at me as she walks away, calling over her shoulder, "I just enjoy teasing you."

I hurry to catch up with her, slipping my arm around her waist. She smiles up at me as we walk out of the restaurant and down the block to the city park.

We stroll through the park, enjoying the waning light of the setting sun. I bask in the cool breeze on my face and Bella's warm hand in mine. We sit together on a bench along the path, overlooking the river. Bella glances nervously at me, while swinging her legs.

"Jasper," she begins, but pauses. I look up at her face and her eyes are wide with anxiety.

"What is it, love?"

"I just... I just was wondering if you were enjoying yourself." She mumbles the end, looking up at me nervously.

I smile widely. _Silly girl, worried about me._ "Definitely. You?"

"Yes. It's just weird, ya know?"

"How is it weird?" I frown, thinking she may find me weird, but I couldn't think of anything odd that I had done tonight.

"Well, I haven't been on a date since I was sixteen, not a real date anyway. And I don't know what I'm supposed to do."

"I think we're _supposed_ to eat dinner and get to know one another better. We've already done step one, so how about step two?" I squeeze her hand reassuringly.

"Okay. Um, you go first though." It's blatantly obvious that she's nervous about talking about herself.

I readily agree and begin talking about my childhood, growing up in Texas, and watching my dad in the rodeos. I grew up on a ranch and my dad taught me to break and ride horses and drive cattle. He never really understood why I didn't want to stay and raise cattle, but I've always felt this need to help people and medicine is my path to do that.

"What about you, Bella?"

"What about me?"

"What was your childhood like? Any horses?" I tease, leaning briefly into her shoulder with mine.

"Not really. My childhood was spent sequestered on my parents' estate, and I was mostly raised by my nanny. I remember that Mom and Dad liked to watch polo games, so I got to see the horses there, but I've never ridden one. They wouldn't let me do that."

My curiosity is burning through me. _Are her parents dead? Why does she talk about them in the past tense?_

"Where are your parents, your family?"

"I don't know where my parents are. I haven't seen them since I was sixteen. And I'm an only child. I've always been alone." She trails off and I can see tears forming in her eyes.

_Oh, Bella, what happened to you?_

I gather her into my arms and hold her tightly against my chest, placing small kisses on her cheeks and tasting the saltiness of her tears. She buries her head into me and sniffles quietly while I rock her gently.

"I'm sorry, darlin'. I shouldn't have been so pushy. I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's okay. Honestly, there's nothing about my childhood that's happy. I barely saw my parents before I was twelve and then they threw me out when I was a teenager. I lived in shelters and on the street until James picked me up. I've been his for quite a while now and my parents never even looked for me."

I growl thinking of these people abandoning my sweet girl, basically forcing her into this life of prostitution. "Why, Bella? Why would your parents do that?"

"I got pregnant and the boy wasn't from the right family with the right background. What self-respecting Swan would be married at sixteen? Or pregnant? It would have been a huge scandal. Teenage runaway? Not as much." She shrugs.

I stare at her in horror. Her parents kicked her out because of the possible social implications? She was just a scared pregnant teenager with no where to go.

"What did you do?"

"I lived on the streets for a couple months, but eventually found space in a women's shelter. I was so weak and starving at that point that I...I..." She breaks down in tears again, but these are mournful sobs that shake her whole body and instantly soak through my shirt.

"Shh. It's okay, Bella. I'm here. Nothing can hurt you. You don't have to talk about it. I'll tell you some rodeo stories and we can forget about this conversation." My chest cracks with each heaving sob, my heart breaking in two. Her life would have been so different if her parents hadn't kicked her out. I wish I had found her earlier and protected her from all this pain.

"No, Jasper," she hiccups between sniffles. "I really want to tell you. This is how I came to be here, and he's a big part of who I am."

"He? The father?" _She has another man in her life? Why didn't I see this coming?__ Of course, she is too good to be true._

I can feel my panic start to rise. _Just calm down, man.__ Breathe. __"__He__"__ could mean anyone, right? _

"Jake? God, no. I meant my son."

"Your son? You have a child?" Every one of her statements just left me with more questions. _W__here's her son now?__ Does she still see him?_ My head is spinning.

"No, I miscarried shortly after coming to the shelter. I was too weak to carry him, too malnourished. He was so small and perfect." She smiles through her tears, her eyes shining as she stares into my eyes.

"I'm sure he was." I lean over and kiss her tenderly on the forehead, trying to convey my feelings to her.

We sit holding each other for a long time in silence, watching the sun completely set over the water. A stiff breeze swirls around us and Bella shivers against me. I stand slowly and stretch, pulling her up with me. We need to do something fun, more first-date-like.

"Come on. I think my belly has emptied enough to go get some dessert now. What d'ya say?"

"I say, bring on the tiramisu!"

We walk to a nearby diner, and order a couple coffees to warm up and a slice of warm apple pie ala mode to share. I smile a bit when she offers to split the dessert, and remind her that this is _very_ date-like. She blushes that lovely shade of pink, and I lift her hand from the table to kiss the palm.

The waitress soon arrives with our coffees and dessert and she practically skewers me with her fork in her excitement for the pie.

"Sorry," she mumbles with a hand over her mouth, trying to spare me the sight of the giant bite of pie she just inhaled.

"S'alright. I completely understand. There's nothing better than warm apple pie." I take a small bite and have to stifle a moan as the warm tart gooey-ness and cold sweet creaminess mix on my tongue. There aren't many better things in life than this.

Bella scoops another forkful and aims it toward my mouth. "Come on, open up. I want to hear that sound of bliss again."

I smile and wrap my lips around her fork. My eyes almost roll back into my head at the scrumptuous dessert. I let it melt in my mouth and swallow a bit reluctantly.

"Man, Bella. We have to come here again."

She giggles and I look up at her curiously.

"What's so funny?"

She blushes and looks down at the table. "You're planning a next time," she mumbles without meeting my eyes. I reach over and grab her hand again, willing her to look up.

"Of course, I am. When I said I wanted to try something with you, it definitely wasn't just Italian food. I want everything, Bella. Everything, everywhere and every time."

After dessert, we walk the short blocks to the bar Emmett works at for a drink before I take her home. When we enter, he's in his typical spot, leaning against the bar, chatting to the customers.

We take seats at the end of the bar, and I wave when he looks up. His eyes widen and his jaw drops. Bella giggles at his reaction and it spurs him into action.

He races over to greet us, shaking my hand enthusiastically and giving Bella a half-hug over the bar. While he embraces her, he raises his eyebrows at me over her head.

I mouth "what?" at him and he smiles broadly. My answering smile is just as large. Bella just does that to me.

"So, what brings you two into my humble establishment tonight?"

Bella giggles and I shake my head at Emmett's antics. I decide to play along and see how long he can keep it up.

"Well, my dear Emmett. We were enjoying the pleasant evening and stopped in for some libations."

Emmett looks at me like I'm speaking Latin.

Bella leans towards him and whispers loudly, "We'd like drinks, Em."

His face brightens immediately. "Sure thing, B. What can I get ya?"

"I'll take my usual. Jasper?"

"Get me whatever IPA you have on tap."

"Alright. One seven and seven, one IPA coming right up."

He spins on his heel and busies himself making the drinks. He stops mid-pour from the Seagram's seven bottle and stares at something behind us. I turn to see a luscious blonde with legs that for for miles entering the bar.

Bella turns as well. "Rose! What are you doing here?"

"Got a date tonight and he's meeting me here," she begins excitedly before noticing me next to Bella.

"Of course," Bella continues. "You remember Jasper?"

I nod at her, and she appraises me with cool eyes.

"How could I forget?" she sneers at me.

I nod at her and try to smile through my apprehension. "It's nice to see you again, Rose."

"Whatever." She dismisses me and returns her attention to Bella.

Bella smiles at me reassuringly before looking back at Rose. "Who's the date with?"

"You remember Eric?" Bella nods, and she continues, "Well, he called and wanted to see me again. Repeats are always a good thing."

Emmett returns with our drinks and also a glass of white wine for Rose. She lifts the glass to her lips and smiles at Emmett.

"Thanks, Em. You know how to treat a lady right."

Emmett looks at his shoes and I swear his ears pinked slightly. "Thanks, Rose," he mumbles at his chest.

"You're incredibly welcome, hot stuff." Rose trails a finger down his bicep and Emmett's head jerks up to watch her touch him.

"Rose, you shouldn't tease like that," Bella admonishes her.

"Why not, B? He likes it." She glares briefly at Bella before smiling brilliantly at Emmett. "You don't mind, do you Em?"

"Not really," he responds, returning to mumbling with his head down.

"See? Emmett likes me."

"No one ever questioned that, Rose. I'm just saying, take it easy on the boy."

"Okay, okay, B. Jeez! So what have you two been up to tonight?" She winks at us, and I'm immediately suspicious at her change in demeanor.

"Well, we went to dinner, had a walk through the park and then Jasper and I shared a piece of apple pie."

"That sounds... nice, actually." She smiles wistfully then directs her attention to me. "You're better at this than I thought."

"Uh, thanks Rose. I think."

She laughs and we continue the light banter, Emmett occasionally having to excuse himself to handle a customer.

Emmett is recalling a story about a drunk singing "Like a Virgin" the previous night, when the door to the bar opens and Rose glances back briefly before downing the rest of her wine and patting him on the arm. "Thanks, babe. Put it on my tab?"

"Aw, Rose. You know I'll never charge you."

"I know, sugar," she quietly responds, giving him a weak smile before turning to the thin, dark-haired man approaching the bar.

"Eric! I'm so glad to see you!" She jumps from the stool and jumps into the man's arms. He's bookish and cleancut, not the type you would expect paying for a date.

"Y-y-you t-t-too, Rose. R-ready to go?"

I take that back. Nervous stutters are not good for first impressions.

"You bet I am, cuteness." She places a small peck on his cheek and waves at us before leading him out of the bar.

"She's going to be the death of me." Emmett is still watching the door that Rose disappeared through, a sadness in his eyes.

"Emmett, it's not that bad. Eric is completely harmless, believe me." I'm certain that Bella is trying to be comforting, but comfort is not what I'm feeling now. Red hot anger burns through my veins.

"You mean you've gone on dates with him before?" I practically growl at her. _Calm, Jasper. Stay calm._

"Well, yeah. We all have. He's good for dinner and dancing."

"I thought you said you hadn't been on a date with anyone in ages." I can't keep the hurt and anger out of my voice.

"Listen, Jasper. I certainly don't count dates when the man pays for me and I have no choice in the matter."

"You've always had a choice," I yell back at her.

"Well, if the choices are go on a date with Eric or starve, then I guess I pick the date," she growls back at me and I see her hackles raising.

"Dude, you need to back off." Emmett's calm voice and steady hand on my shoulder penetrate through the haze of my anger.

I sigh and let the tension leave me.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I just have a hard time imagining your life before me. I can't bear the thought of you being with another man."

"Well, it's not the easiest thing for me to do either. And you two are absolutely hopeless. Jasper's ready to fight every guy I've ever talked to. And you, Em, are just waiting for Rose to choose you."

"It's not that easy, B. You know it's not," Emmett argues. I nod my head, because I gotta have a brother's back. Plus, I mostly agree.

"It's never easy. My past is not going to change because it's difficult for Jasper. Rose is not going to quit unless you show her something better. You both need to change what you can and accept what you can't."

I swear, my girl could be a philosopher. _My girl..._

I grab her hands to guarantee her focus is entirely on me. "Bella, I promise, I will try. I know that I'm not comfortable with your past, but I want to try now. I want you now."

Bella's deep chocolate eyes search mine before the tears start to pool in her lashes. I try to put all my need and desire into my stare, willing her to accept my words as truth.

"Jasper...," she whispers.

Emmett clears his throat. "Uh, it was good to see you two. I have to...um, yeah, go over there."

Bella and I chuckle at his awkward escape, but I understand why he would be uncomfortable. The laughter effectively interrupts the moment between us and I think it's time to end the night before I do something I regret.

"Come on, Bella. Let me walk you home."

I throw a twenty on the bar and help Bella into her coat again. I reach for her hand, which she takes quickly while smiling up at me. Her hand is small in mine, and I revel in the warmth that travels up my arm and settles in my chest.

It's amazing to me that in the short time that I have known Bella, the instantaneous feelings of desire and attraction have morphed into friendship, protectiveness and... Dare I even think it? I think I could be falling in love with this beautiful, daring, smart, strong, caring woman.

We walk slowly back to her apartment, wrapped in each others arms. I know I have to let her go, even if it's just for the night. Eventually, we arrive at her door and I look down into her luminescent eyes, willing all the answers to be there.

She unlocks the door but doesn't open it, instead turning back toward me. I pull her back into my arms, inhaling and memorizing her sweet scent in preparation for our time apart.

She glances down and a delicate pink spreads across her cheeks. I chuckle to think of this girl embarrassed by anything. I cup my hand softly against her cheek and lift her face gently.

"What is it, sweet girl?"

She looks away again, and I can no longer resist. I lower my mouth to hers and press a small, soft kiss on her full lips.

She lifts her hands into my hair, gripping tightly and pulling my lips back to hers. Her mouth hungrily nibbles and sucks on my lips and I eagerly reciprocate, wrapping my arms around her and lifting her towards me. She coils her legs around my waist, and her dress raises tauntingly while her heat presses into the growing bulge in my jeans. We crash backwards against the wall of the hallway, mouths never parting. I kiss along her jaw and neck, eliciting sweet mewls and whimpers from her throat.

She suddenly tugs on my hair, bringing my mouth to hers and panting onto my swollen lips.

"I know that good girls only kiss on the first date; but this isn't really a first date, and I'm not really a good girl."

I pause, unsure of what to do next, although mauling her in the hallway isn't my idea of a good idea.

"Jasper, do you want to come in?" She looks at me shyly, and I wonder what is going through her mind.

"Yes, I would love to come in."

She leans over to open the door and I carry her in my arms, her legs still wrapped firmly around me, over the threshold. She kicks the door shut and turns the deadbolt with her foot.

"Now, where were we?" she purrs into my ear.

.

.

.

.

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* * *

**A/N: Hello all! ****Hope you enjoyed their reunion. Big thanks to my beta mhl1115! I couldn't do this without you, bb, and I'm glad you're feeling better. **

**So, are we happy that they went on a date? Excited to see where this leads? Anyone worried??? Only a few chapters left with these two… and I'd love to hear what you are thinking. Thanks for reading!!**


	9. Message in a Bottle

**Disclaimer: Not mine. I do have a jar of Nutella. See you below.**

** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **  
Only hope can keep me together  
Love can mend your life but  
Love can break your heart

"Message in a Bottle" ~ The Police  
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

* * *

**BPOV  
**  
My legs and arms are still wrapped tightly around Jasper's waist as I lock the door with my foot.

"Now where were we?" I breathe into his ear.

Suddenly, he turns my back against the wall, pressing me into it and grinding his pelvis into mine. I gasp and groan, unable to stop the noises erupting from my throat. My head tilts back against the wall as his mouth licks and nibbles along my neck and collarbones.

"Jesus, Bella. You taste..." He moves his lips to my ear. "Incredible."

I fist my hands into his hair, pulling his mouth to mine. "I need to taste you, too." Our lips meet and the heat between us intensifies. I have never been kissed like this. I feel overpowered by lust and need and want coupled with comfort and friendship and...love.

It's true and, after this night, undeniable. I am in love with Jasper Whitlock, and I finally feel free.

Tomorrow I will call James and tell him that I am done. I am done being his whore and living this life. My body, my heart, and my life belong to Jasper and I don't want to spend another day denying him or myself.

We continue kissing, our tongues tangling and hands grasping each other tightly, desperately. It's almost as if we are worried about letting the other go, like it is all a dream that will slip through our fingers if we loosen our grips.

I slowly unhook my legs from around his waist and he looks into my eyes questioningly as my feet touch the ground. I smile seductively up at him and he visibly relaxes.

"Don't worry; I'm not going anywhere. It's just that we have all night, and I don't want you to get too tired too soon."

I turn to walk down the hall to my bedroom, but he pulls me back against his chest, growling in my ear. "Bella, you don't have to worry about my strength waning. I just worry about wearing you out."

I pull on him, tugging him with me, drawing us closer and closer to my bed. "Come on, big stud. You better not be all talk."

No sooner are the words out of my mouth before he sweeps me into his arms and strides into the bedroom before tossing me onto the bed. I bounce a couple times, trying to stifle my giggles.

My laughter catches in my throat as I look back toward Jasper. He crouches, looking like a panther hunting his prey, and circles the bed, growling occasionally. I feel my wetness seeping into my lace boy shorts with each low growl emanating from his chest.

I crawl across the bed on my knees, following him with my eyes and the slight tilt of my head. He rounds the corner of the bed and pounces, tackling me from the side and rolling me into his arms. We come to rest with him on top and he quickly pins my arms to the bed, a wicked grin on his face. "Do I look like all show to you?" he snarls at me, leaning in to nip at my jaw and neck.

"Uh...n-no?" I answer, surprised at my hesitancy and the incredible turn on it is to be dominated by Jasper, completely helpless in his grasp.

I gasp as he runs his tongue down my neck and over my collarbones. He releases my arms and tugs at the straps of my dress, pushing them down my shoulders and following them with his mouth.

"Jasper, why don't you just take it off?"

He glances up at me. "Bella, I'm taking this slow, and I'm going to enjoy uncovering, and touching, and tasting each and every inch of you." His words are punctuated by small kisses descending my arm to my wrist. He slowly takes each of my fingers into his mouth, sucking slightly and running his tongue along my fingertips.

I shudder with the sensations his mouth brings me and I almost explode with need as I imagine him going slowly. I may have fucked thousands of times, but no one has _ever_ taken his time with me. Even Jake, my first, was a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am kind of guy.

I moan as he moves across me, continuing his trail of warm wet kisses down my other arm. The heat from his mouth and his body is too much and I squirm beneath him, rubbing my thighs together for friction. I want more. I _need_ more.

I cannot hold back the groans and hisses as he continues kissing down my torso, his hot breath pulsing through the material of my dress. He kisses my breasts, ribs, stomach, hips, while his hands grasp and kneed the flesh over my hips and legs. The building tension is almost too much for me, and I think I may climax without him even touching me.

Eventually, his caressing and teasing hands grab the bottom hem of my dress and raise it, inch by excruciating inch, up my legs. His lips follow, kissing every millimeter of exposed skin, tonguing and nipping at my thighs.

"Ung! Jasper! Holy hell!" My thoughts are no more coherent than my words as I revel in the feel of his mouth and hands on me.

He continues to push the fabric over my thighs, my stomach and lifts me to gently remove it from my shoulders. He straightens the dress, and stands, placing it on the bedside table. I lay on the bed on my back, propped up on my elbows, watching him as he turns back to the bed.

He slowly unbuttons his shirt and shrugs it off his shoulders as he toes off his shoes. My fingers twitch, wanting to be the ones touching him and undressing him. He removes his white undershirt and crawls back across the bed to me, leaving his pants on.

My breathing speeds as he approaches and reverently grazes his fingers over my now exposed flesh, his eyes tracking their movements. I watch his face, noticing his mouth open and close, his tongue dart out to lick his lips, his breath becoming faster and faster.

"Please, Jasper," I whisper and he looks into my eyes, startled from his revelry.

"Please what, my Bella?"

"Touch me. I need you," I pant.

"Don't worry, my Bella. You will have me." He leans forward then, and his mouth presses against mine.

My hands immediately twist into his silken golden locks and I turn his head to deepen the kiss. His tongue, and his taste, God! They send fireworks through my body, rapidly growing sparks driven by his touch. This is the most intense sexual experience I have ever had and he hasn't even taken off his pants yet. I groan into his mouth when I think of how much more there will be, how fierce and explosive this night will be.

He answers by palming my breast in one hand while teasing my nipple with the other. I run my hands down his back, lightly scratching him with my fingernails. He bucks his hips into mine when I roughly squeeze his ass. He pauses in his kisses, looking into my eyes and placing his hand gently against my cheek.

"Bella, I want to go slow, to do this right."

"I know, sweetheart, but everything_ is_ right. Don't you see?" I wrap my arms around his neck, trying to bring him close again.

He brushes the hair from my forehead and places a tender kiss on my forehead.

"Yes, Bella. Everything is right."

I crash my lips into his, pulling his bottom lip into my mouth. He moans and slides his hands into my hair. As we continue to suck and bite and lick at each other's mouths, I move my hands between us to unfasten his pants. My nimble fingers make quick work of the button and zipper and I push them and his boxers down with my feet until they are wrapped around his ankles.

I flip us over, straddling his lap, slowly grinding myself into his erection. The only thing separating us now is a single piece of thin material. My head falls back at the exquisite feel of his hard cock rubbing my swollen clit.

"God, Bella! I can feel how wet you are! You need to stop that or I won't last very long."

I stop moving briefly to reach behind me and unclasp my bra. Letting the material fall from my arms, I am momentarily embarrassed. No man has seen me completely naked and I am only wearing a scrap of lace at this point. I start to cover my chest with my arms, hugging myself.

Jasper sits up, grasping my arms gently and moving them back to my sides. He traces my breasts with his fingertips before dipping his head and softly kissing my hardening peaks.

"Beautiful," he murmurs against my skin.

I feel tears start to prick my eyes and I take a ragged deep breath.

Jasper immediately looks up and his eyes widen with concern. "What is it Bella? Do you not want to do this? We can stop any time you want."

I place my finger on his lips to stop his words. "I want this, I do. More than anything. It's just... You are so perfect. What did I do to deserve you?" I pause as I feel a tear escape my eyelashes and trickle down my cheek.

Jasper kisses away my tears, holding me close. "Deserve me? Bella you are an amazing creature. I wonder daily what I did right in my life to bring you into it. I only wish I had better ways to show you how beautiful and perfect _you_ are."

"Jasper, you're already doing it. I-I..." I stop myself before I tell him the truth, the depth of my feelings. It's too soon and I don't want to ruin this moment. "I want you."

"I want you, too, my dear, sweet Bella."

I lean into his touch as our kissing increases in pace and intensity. He lies back onto the bed, pulling me with him. I slide my boy briefs down my legs and then we are both together, with nothing between us.

I slowly kiss and lick a path down his neck, over his defined pecs, smoothing my hands over his abdominal muscles. His cock twitches below me and I grin at the effect I have on him. I slowly wrap my hand around him and I hear a hiss at his intake of breath. Sliding further down his legs, I position my mouth over his glistening head. I lean down and lick the pre-cum from the tip, amazed at the flavor of him on my tongue. I feel my wetness extending down my thighs now that I'm naked. Getting turned on by giving a blowjob is definitely a new sensation. Usually it's a good way to earn thirty bucks.

Turning my attention back to the prize in front of me, I lick Jasper's erection from base to tip and swirl my tongue around the head. My right hand is firmly grasping his length and pumping slowly while the left pulls slightly on his sac.

He moans and fists his hands in the sheets. "Jesus, holy fuck!" he screams as he tosses his head from side to side.

I smile before I take his entire length into my mouth, sucking hard as I move back towards his head.

"My God! I never knew it could be like this..." he pants, his legs tensing beneath me.

Suddenly, he sits up and stops my motions by placing his hands on my face, lifting my lips to his.

"I need you now," he breathes against my lips.

"Then take me," I moan, feeling his rigid length against my wet heat. I reach over to the table and grab a condom from the drawer.

I quickly open the package with my teeth and slide the latex over his straining cock.

He wraps his arms around my waist and flips me onto my back. He positions himself between my legs, sliding his erection along my pulsing clit.

"Jasper, please."

"I could never deny you anything, my Bella."

I feel him push into me, sliding easily until his hips hit my pelvis. He pauses, his eyes shut tight, breathing heavily.

Gently stroking his face, I urge his eyes open.

"Look at me, Jasper," I coax.

He gazes into my eyes and slowly begins to shift his hips against mine. I place my feet flat on the bed, lifting my ass slightly and allowing him deeper penetration. With every thrust, his pelvis grinds my clit while his cock hits deep inside of me. I continue to move with him and our pace increases, our cries and moans echoing within the room.

I feel my orgasm building, the coil tightening in my stomach, the raw energy and heat threatening to overflow. It does not escape me that this may be my first orgasm with a man I won't have to fake, and that revelation just fuels the fire in me and I moan loudly.

Never ceasing his movements, Jasper leans onto one forearm, sliding the other between us. His fingers lightly graze my bundle of nerves and, already, I'm shaking in my need.

"Bella, I'm so close. I need you to come with me."

"Harder, Jasper."

He pounds deeper and faster into me as his fingers circle my clit repeatedly. Heat suddenly courses through me and I feel myself clenching around him, a loud moan escaping my lips, the ecstasy overpowering all of my senses.

"Oh, I can feel you everywhere," Jasper moans. He thrusts twice more before he stops, shouting obscenities as I feel him pulsing, his back arching away from me with the power of his orgasm.

He collapses on to me, holding his body weight on his forearms. Gradually we slow our breathing, continuing to kiss each other sweetly and tenderly. He pulls out of me eventually, rapidly removing the condom and knotting it before throwing it into the trashcan by the bed. He returns to my side and we curl around each other, arms and legs entwined.

Jasper's lips move slowly over my forehead, kissing my brow and I lift my lips to kiss his jaw.

"Bella, that was amazing," he sighs against my skin.

I nod in agreement. "I've never felt like this before," I whisper, fearing that if I speak too loudly, the moment will be broken.

"Like what, darlin'?" He snuggles closer, nuzzling into my neck.

I pause, because I'm not entirely sure how to put the sensations in my head and body into words. "Happy, immensely happy. And satisfied." _That doesn't even come close. Gah! Why do words fail me now?_

Jasper chuckles lightly into my hair. "Well, I'm glad to hear it. And that I could help you with that."

I shove him gently but he just holds me tighter against his chest. I could get used to this. I feel myself relaxing against him, sleep pulling me under, but I need to know the answer to one more question.

"Jasper?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you going to stay with me?" I know he may interpret that to mean tonight, but I'm really hoping for so much more. I look up at his face, his eyes drooping but a small smile on his lips.

"Yes, Bella. There's no where in the world I'd rather be," he trails off, his eyes closing completely.

"Good."

I close my eyes as well and drift off to sleep, safe and secure in his arms.

I wake suddenly in a panic with the bed empty and cold. I race out of my room, still completely naked to find James sitting in my living room. There's something off about the situation, but I can't put my finger on it.

"Jesus, James! You scared the piss out of me! What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Did you forget this is my apartment, B? That I allow you to live here?" His face seems uglier than normal, his hair greasier.

"No, of course not. Sorry."

"Well, you seemed to have forgotten a few things. Luckily, I found that boy here this morning and took care of him."

I feel my body turn cold and my heart catch in my throat. In my head I'm panicking, although I know I need to remain calm. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I killed him and now you will _always_ be mine."

"No! Not Jasper! I love him!" James laughs maniacally and his eyes flash a brilliant red. I continue to wail and scream curses at James and my love for Jasper.

"Bella? Bella?"

I hear a far-off sweet voice that sounds remarkably like Jasper and an unseen force is shaking me.

Slowly, I begin to be aware of my surroundings. It's dark and I'm sitting up in bed. Jasper's beautiful grey eyes are full of concern as he runs his hands through my hair.

_Thank God, it was a dream._

"It's alright, sweetness. It was just a dream. Shh, you're okay now."

He pulls me into his chest and I realize there are tears streaming down my cheeks.

"Do you want to tell me about it?"

I feel more than hear the rumble of his words in his chest. I shake my head and nuzzle closer.

"Must've been some nightmare. You were screaming at the end."

My heart rate accelerates again. I know that I talk in my sleep, and I don't want Jasper to discover my feelings for him through my night time rantings.

"Did I say anything?" I sniffle into his chest, unable to look up in fear of what I might see.

"Nothing intelligible, really."

"Oh, okay." _I must seem like such a freak._

"Let's lay down and go back to sleep."

We snuggle together again, this time he lays on his back and I rest my head on his shoulder. He curls his arms around me and squeezes me once more before relaxing. His breathing evens out quickly and his warmth eventually lulls me back to sleep again.

I wake this time to Jasper's cell phone beeping. He groans and reaches over to shut it off.

"I'm sorry, sweetness, but I have to work today and I have to get going."

"What time is it?" I mutter sleepily as I yawn and roll over toward him. He stands to put on his pants but leans back to kiss me on the lips.

"Way too early for sane people to be up. You should go back to sleep," he mumbles against my lips.

"I'll sleep when you're gone." I reach up and pull his head toward me, deepening the kiss. His hands slide into my hair, and we both groan as our tongues touch and I feel my arousal increasing.

Jasper pulls back with a sigh, his hands still kneading my scalp. "As much as want to stay and continue this, I really have to go."

I pout and he chuckles at me. "Okay, you can go, but you have to come back."

"I only have a ten-hour shift today, so I'll be done by six. Want me to bring over some take-out?"

I smile broadly and nod. "Mmmm... How about Thai?"

"Thai it is. I'll be over by seven." He leans over and gives me another small kiss, this time avoiding my reach.

"I'm still sad you have to go," I grumble at his back as he pulls on his shirt and heads for the door.

He turns to me just as he's about to leave. "Believe me, Bella, I am too. I'll see you soon."

"See you," I respond sadly, watching him leave me again. 

_No, Bella, don't think like that. He'll be back tonight. You know he will._

I hear the front door close and I fall back into the bed, covering myself with the duvet and falling quickly back into a dreamless sleep.

I wake with a groan as my phone next to my bed rings with James's ringtone. I push ignore because it is way too early to be talking to him and that nightmare is still too fresh in my memory. I roll over, slowly stretching my deliciously sore limbs. I smile as I think about why I'm achy in all the right places.

_I could get used to that kind of workout. At least the sun's up now._

I roll over and decide I need a nice hot shower to loosen up. I gather my clothes for the day and head into the bathroom. Turning on the spray, I wait for it to warm before stepping in. The hot water cascades over my sore muscles, and I can feel the heat and massaging action of the water working it's magic.

I imagine the water is Jasper's fingers and I honestly can't wait until we can do all the domestic things together: showering, eating and sleeping together, even watching stupid movies and ordering take-out. I've only dreamed about this type of relationship and now it could be a reality. _And to be with someone I love? Fucking icing on the cake.  
_  
Just one small, tiny, little detail to take care of.

James.

As soon as I'm out of the shower, I need to call James. I will tell him it's over and he'll have no more power over me. I'll need to call Rose and find out if I can crash at her place for a few days, because he will most likely kick me out of my apartment quickly.

I just know I need to do this now, no procrastinating, just waiting and hoping that this will work out on its own. I won't be able to move on to my new life with Jasper if I don't do this. And I really just want to be with him, every second of every day.

I notice my skin starting to wrinkle, so I turn off the water and wrap myself in a giant fluffy towel. I get dressed and pull my hair back into a messy bun. I have no plans to leave the apartment, and I don't feel like making much of an effort.

Walking back into my bedroom, my phone is blinking that I have messages.

James. Seven missed calls and two messages.

_Damn. What the hell is up with him?_

I grab my phone and sit on the bed, trying to decide the best way to break the news to him. I have a feeling he won't take this well, but I can handle his yelling, especially on the phone. I take a deep breath and push the send button.

It doesn't even ring before I hear "Where the fuck are you?" in a gruff voice.

"Um...sitting on my bed in my apartment. Hi to you, too."

"Don't be all fuckin' coy wit' me, bitch. What the fuck happened last night? Goin' to dinner? Takin' a guy home wit' ya'?!"

_Shit, shit, shit. This is not going as planned. Wait. Was he following me?_

"Yeah, I'm actually calling to talk to you about that."

"Workin' so soon, B? Didn't you tell me you needed time off? And then I find out your workin' on the side. I told ya' before, nothin' on the side!"

"Jasper's not a client. He's my-"

"You fuckin' betta not say boyfriend," he growls into the phone. "I won't _let_ you, bitch. Do you fucking hear me?"

_He won't let me?_

"I hear ya'. But I'm calling to say I'm quitting, so you don't need to worry about that anymore. I'll be out of my apartment today."

I look down as my phone beeps. The asshole hung up on me.

_How fucking mature! Really, I've been nothing but a great girl for him, and this is my thanks? What the hell!_ When he calls back, I'm not holding anything back.

A loud pounding on my door interrupts my internal tirade against James. _What the fuck?_

"I know you're in there, you fuckin' bitch! You're not leaving me!" James screams through the door.

_Oh, fuck no._ I grab my phone and dial Jasper's cell, but it goes straight to voicemail. _Shit! _ I dial Rose next.

"Please pick up. Please pick up," I chant as her phone rings. I get her voicemail and curse.

After the beep, I start talking as fast as I can. James's pounding and cursing has only increased and I curl up against the headboard, trying to be as small as possible, wishing I had some sort of escape route.

"Rose, it's me. I told James I was going to quit and he didn't take it well. He's at my door trying to pound his way through and I'm scared. I'm really fucking scared."

The pounding and yelling suddenly cease. I move the phone briefly away from my ear so I can listen more closely and I only hear silence. "Never mind, it's okay, Rose. I think he's given up. I'll just give him some time to cool-"

I scream as my phone is yanked from my hand and I'm pulled onto the floor by my hair.

"Did you forget I've got keys to all my apartments?" he growls into my ear, grabbing my arm in his other hand. I whimper as he continues to pull me across the floor, dragging me to the front door. My flailing arm and legs knock over a small table in the hall and one of the bar stools in the kitchen, but James does not slow. I can feel the carpet rubbing my skin raw on my back and my shoulder screams in pain.

He pauses next to the front door and indicates I should stand. My legs are like jelly and I can't get them under me fast enough, so he kicks me in the side. I double over as the pain rips through me, and I wonder if anyone will save me.

"Get up bitch! Unless you _want_ me to drag you down the stairs."

I scramble to my feet as fast as possible and he immediately twists my arm behind my back, preventing my escape. I arch my back as the pain in my elbow and shoulder become excruciating.

"Don't say a fucking word or I'll snap your arm," he sneers into my ear as he increases the pressure slightly.

I whimper in response and he chuckles. "Good girl."

We descend the steps slowly, James always in control and directly behind me. James's large black SUV is parked in the middle of the street and he roughly shoves me into the back seat into the lap of an enormous man.

"Hold her and don't let her go," James instructs as he hops into the driver's seat. "She's mine but she's forgotten her place."

James drives like a maniac back to his place throwing me repeatedly against my silent large captor. He squeals to a stop at the curb and immediately races around the car, flinging open my door and grabbing me by the hair again. I try to keep standing, but fall repeatedly on the sidewalk and steps leading up to his building, bloodying my elbows and knees. The normal posse of hoodlums that grace his steps are missing and I stare at the empty steps, trepidation in my heart. I may be in more danger than I realize.

After being yanked up the stairs by James, he shoves me through the door of his apartment and I collapse on the floor. He grabs a chair and sets me roughly in it, grabbing some fabric from who knows where to tie my arms to it. He paces in front of me, growling in my direction ever so often and muttering to himself.

I've never seen James so worked up and I'm really fucking scared that Rose won't get my message, but I'm also really fucking scared that she'll show up here.

"Please, James," I beg as tears start blurring my vision. "I won't go anywhere. I'm here. You don't have to do this."

I shriek again as he pulls back my head by my hair. He spits as he yells in my face, "Shut the fuck up. Bitch, I'm gonna show you who's the boss of ya'. And if your cowboy shows up, I'll deal wit' 'im, too."

He shoves me and I fall backwards, still tied to the chair. I feel the panic start to rise in me as James starts pacing again. At some point, he's picked up a gun and he waves it around his head while muttering about none of his bitches leaving him.

I send a little prayer to anyone who's listening, "Please keep all those that I love safe and far from here. Please don't let Rose or Jasper do anything stupid and get hurt because of me."

I feel a tear trickle down my cheek and into my hair. I can take any beating James can give me, but losing Jasper would kill me.

.

.

.

.

* * *

**A/N: As always, big hugs and smooches to my beta, mhl1115 - love you, bb!! Also, mega-big thank you to my real life sister, who read this because I was nervous and held my hand for posting this. Next chapter is already written and sent to Mere. I will post next Saturday provided everything goes as planned. Thank you all for reading! Show me some love!**

**I've also started posting my entries for the Twi25 challenge. I'm trying something different - canon, and Victoria. Check it out and let me know what you think! Thanks!**


	10. Every Breath You Take

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Twilight. Fair warning, you may want your big girl panties. *Runs and hides***

** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **  
Oh, can't you see  
You belong to me  
How my poor heart aches  
With every step you take  
Every move you make  
Every vow you break  
Every smile you fake, every claim you stake  
I'll be watching you  
Every move you make, every step you take  
I'll be watching you

"Every Breath You Take" ~The Police  
** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **

* * *

**JPOV**

I finish my shift at six and notice a missed call from Bella followed by several from Emmett, but there are no messages from either one.

_What the hell?_

I dial Bella first to let her know I'll be on my way after I pick up our Thai food, but my call goes straight to voicemail. I leave a short message and decide to try Emmett as well.

Emmett answers, completely out of breath, before the first ring is finished.

"Damn it, Jasper. Where the fuck are you?" His voice is strained and anxious and I hear a female voice in the background getting louder.

"I just got off my shift. What's wrong?"

"Just come over to the bar now. We need you."

"Who's 'we', and why do you need me? I'm supposed to have dinner with Bella," I pause and glance at my watch. "Um, like right now, and we can come over after that." I've had a really long day and I just want to relax and be with Bella. _Why is he trying to ruin my night?_

"No, you need to come here before you do anything." There's a deep sigh on the other end of the phone, and I can picture him running his hand through his hair.

"Just spit it out, Emmett! What the fuck is going on!" I know I'm yelling, but what little patience I had is now gone.

"It's about Bella."

My hearts stops in my chest, waiting to beat again after I hear the answer to my next question.

"What about her?" I whisper, barely able to move sound past the lump in my throat. I hear another sigh, and I wish I could crawl through the phone to beat the fucking answer out of him.

"She's missing, J. Rose thinks James took her."

Rage surges through me when I think of that animal's paws on my Bella. I can't stop the growl that escapes my throat, and I begin jogging to my car. Emmett's still talking but I can no longer focus on him, so I interrupt. "I'll be there as soon as possible."

I snap my phone shut, making it to my car in record time. I peel out of the parking lot and race to Emmett's bar, barely shutting the car off before I'm out the door and jogging down the sidewalk to the brightly lit door. Upon entering, I notice the bar is completely empty except for Emmett and Rose sitting on stools at the far end. He's got his arm around her shoulders while tears run down her face and she punches her fist into her hand.

"Where the fuck is Bella?!" Their heads both snap up as I bellow across the room.

"Hey dude! You got here fast!" He smiles up at me like he's proud that I was speeding.

I can't handle small talk right now and the incredulous look Rose is giving him says it all. "Fuck that, Em. Answer the fucking question!"

Rose speaks up this time, glaring at Emmett who snaps his mouth shut. "I was on a job that lasted 'til about four today, so I didn't get her message until then. She called in a panic because James was pounding on her door, then she said it was okay because he left." She buries her face in her hands, and I can barely hear her shaking voice as she continues. "And then the screams started. I went to her apartment as soon as I got the message and it's a mess, furniture turned over. I think he may have dragged her out."

My vision clouds with anger as I picture her tiny body being dragged by this man. "I swear I will end him if he's harmed her."

"What are you going to do, Jasper?" Rose challenges me, her voice rising. "He actually _has_ guns and thugs. _He's_ actually killed people. What can _you_ do?"

I'm ready to fight my way in there, guns blazing, but she's right, I don't actually have any guns. So, I think of the next best choice. "Well, then we should call the police."

Rose snorts. "The police in this town don't give a fuck about her, or me, or any hookers for that matter. They're _not _going to come to rescue a prostitute from her pimp."

My frustration grows because I know she speaks the truth. My body is in fight or flight mode, and I can feel the adrenal coursing through my veins. I have this overwhelming need to rescue her, protect her. Then, we can run away and be together, free of James and everything standing between us; just me and the girl I love.

I pace, trying to think of a solution, channeling my energy into something useful. This is what I'm good at. I make plans and protocols for life or death situations. I can do this.

_That's it!_

I turn to face Emmett and Rose. "Okay. I think I have a plan. Rose, do you know where James lives?" She nods. "And this is most likely where he took Bella?"

"I would think so. It's his lair, as he calls it, and where all his goons hang out."

"How easy is it to get to?"

"Well, it's just an apartment, but he owns the whole building. He'll be up on the third floor."

"Do you think you can get in there, Rose?"

"No!" Emmett interrupts, standing and waving his arms across his body as if to negate the words. "I won't let her go in there. That guy's a fucking psycho! Who knows what he'd do to her?"

"You won't let me, huh? Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do?" Rose stands and glares at Emmett and I swear he shrinks just a little under her gaze.

"I'm just a guy..." He takes a deep breath, stealing himself, before looking directly into her eyes. "Just a guy who's completely head over heels for you. I can't just watch you walk into danger like that."

Rose face softens immediately and her hand gently cups Emmett's cheek. "Aww, baby. Why didn't you say anything earlier?"

"Are you kidding me? You could have anything and everything," he explains while gesturing at her body. "Why would you go for me, a nothing bartender?"

"Oh, Em. I can't have anything, and I would definitely go for a bartender." She leans in closer, kissing him chastely on his cheek. "Especially one who looks like he just stepped out of my wet dream."

Emmett's jaw drops and he suddenly wraps his arms around her, pulling her close and kissing her deeply.

I clear my throat, but they are oblivious, like there's nothing in the world but them. "Um, guys," I start, but they don't pause. "Guys!"

Rose suddenly backs away from Emmett and straightens her dress, while Emmett looks sheepishly at his shoes.

"I mean, I'm glad you're...whatever you are now, but can we get back to the planning."

"Yeah, sorry dude. That mouth of hers just does that to me. I can't help it."

He sits in the closest bar stool and pulls Rose into his lap who giggles and bats him away. I wonder briefly what the hell we think we're doing. It sounds like a bad joke. _A doctor, a bartender and a prostitute walk into a pimp's apartment..._

"Well, I hope you got that out of your system. Now let's get serious."

Rose stands and matches my pacing while Emmett watches us walk back and forth from his perch on the stool.

"I can get in there, no problem," Rose offers. "Nobody would stop me. I'm there all the time, dropping packages off or turning in money from the girls."

"Does he ever have customers stop by there? For girls? Or drugs?"

"Sure, all the time." She shrugs and then looks us both up and down. "Girls would be more believable for you two. You aren't dirty enough for the drugs he sells."

"Okay, girls then. We'll show up soon after and pretend to be customers. Once we get in the door, you distract James, we'll grab Bella and then we'll all get the hell out of there."

"Good plan to get in and get the girl, except for all the guys with guns blocking your way out." Rose rolls her eyes, and flops down in a chair.

"Right." I run my hands through my hair in frustration. _Damn those fucking bastards and their guns. Why do the bad guys always have guns?_

"Actually, they're not the only ones with guns. I have one." Emmett smiles at me like we won the lottery and I'm pissed he didn't mention this before.

"Are you kidding me with this shit?!" I stalk over to his reclined body, leaning into his face. "When were you going to bring this up?"

He stands up and glares down at me and I back up a couple steps. I forgot how fucking huge he is.

"You and Rose were doing all the planning, but I was going to say something. I got it for bar security, but really I just leave it in the safe. I'll go get it then we better get going."

Emmett heads to the back room to retrieve his gun and I take a moment to catch my breath. I notice Rose glaring at me and I just can't hold in my frustrations any longer.

"What, Rose? What the fuck did I do now?"

"Well, first off you have no reason to be yelling at anyone, least of all Emmett. That guy would do anything for you, including walk into a pimp's place with a gun to try to get your girl back."

I sigh and rub my hands on my face, realizing that I've probably been a bit of a shit. "Yeah."

"So, when he gets back, apologize. Then we'll go get your Bella."

_My Bella. That's what all this madness is for._

Emmett walks swiftly back into the bar with his keys in his hand and nods his head at us. Rose nudges me with her foot and I turn to glare at her, but soften my expression as she nods her head at Emmett.

"Hey listen, Em. I'm sorry I got in your face, man."

"S'alright. I was thinking, if that were Rose in there, I wouldn't have formed a plan, just busted my way in there. And that kind of approach wouldn't do anyone any good right now."

"Well, I'm glad you're on my side." I clap him on the back and he smiles back at me.

"No worries, man. We're both just a couple of love-sick fools."

We leave quickly, locking the bar on the way out and crowd into Emmett's Jeep, Rose and Emmett in the front with me in the back. We ride in silence except for occasional instructions from Rose and soon we're parking at the curb behind a monstrous black SUV.

"That's James' truck," Rose points at the SUV. "He's here." She glances out the window at the building. "Huh, that's odd."

"What's odd?"

"There's usually a few guys sitting out on the porch at all times and there's no one here. What is he planning?"

We exit the Jeep and stare up at the lights emanating from the third floor windows.

"Well, someone's home," I whisper. "Let's get this show on the road."

We walk up the steps and enter the building, following Rose up the stairs to the third floor. Rose pauses at the door to the apartment, hand poised to knock.

"I still don't like it, Rosie. You shouldn't go in there alone." Emmett pleads, whispering in the empty, dark hall.

"Sugar, I've dealt with much worse than James in my life. I'll be fine. And you'll be right here if I need you. No worries." She smiles and pats him on the cheek.

"Well, at least give me a kiss for luck."

She leans over and places a small kiss on his lips, smiling when they part.

"Let's do this. For Bella," she says, moving back to her spot in front of the door.

Rose knocks loudly and assuredly and we hear muffled shouts and James cursing. Suddenly, the apartment is quiet and footsteps approach the door from the other side. Emmett and I quickly duck down the hallway so we can't be seen.

"Who's there?" a gruff male voice calls through the door.

"It's me, Rose. I got the cash from last night."

"Anyone wit' ya?"

"Nah, it's just me. And where the fuck are all your guys?"

We hear the deadbolt slide and the door crack open. From our hiding place, I can see a head of dirty blond hair, tangled and unruly peek into the hall. He looks up and down the hallway and we cringe into the shadows to avoid his gaze.

"They're takin' care of some bis'ness."

He wraps his arm around Rose's waist, ushering her inside and quickly shuts the door behind them. I don't hear the deadbolt relock as we sneak back to our positions by the door.

We hear James muffled voice and then Rose yelling back. A second female voice joins in, and I immediately recognize it as Bella's.

"Bella," I whisper, laying my hand on the door. "She's in there, Em."

"We'll get her back, bro." He lays his hand on my shoulder, and I feel his calm resolve flow into me.

"I can't lose her, not now. I love her."

"I know, man. Just let Rosie do her thing, and we'll go in and get her out."

A loud smack echoes through the door and a single shout from Rose followed by thunderous cursing from James.

"He did _not_ just hit Rose!" Emmett backs from the door, his face twisted in fury.

"Oh no! Hold up, Em. Don't do anything stupid. Remember the plan."

"Fuck the plan!" Emmett lunges at the door with his shoulder and the frame cracks with the pressure. He backs up again and, with a running start, knocks the door off its hinges.

We burst into the living room and see Rose on the floor with a reddening cheek. With James' attention directed at the door, she's trying desperately to untie Bella from a chair. James is staring at us in confusion with a gun held slack in his hand at his side. Emmett and I immediately duck behind the half-wall leading into the kitchen as he raises the gun and fires a couple rounds at the door.

"No!" Bella screams, causing James to turn his attention back to her. "Please, please don't hurt them!"

I peek around the corner and lock eyes with Bella from my position on the floor. I can't see James but she darts her eyes to the left, so I assume he is still in the room. Rose sits next to Bella, continuing to stealthily untie the ropes now that James' attention is focused on them again.

Tears start to form in Bella's eyes. "I'm so sorry," she mouths and I shake my head at her. The silly girl has nothing to be sorry for.

"Oh, is this your precious Jasper come to save you?" he sneers at Bella, and I can see his gun and hand approaching her head. "Come out, come out, _cowboy_. Come save your slut!" James taunts us, coming completely back into view.

I duck back toward the kitchen, my back to the wall, and clench my teeth but try to stay calm. "Just let her go, she's done nothing."

"Nothing? _Nothing?!_ She's tryin' to run off with the pretty doctor! And she's mine, cowboy. I won't let you take 'er."

"Be reasonable, James. You can't keep her against her will."

"Reasonable? You're tryin' to steal 'er from me. I tell you, she's mine," he finishes with a growl.

Bella gasps and I risk exposure by looking around the corner again. I see that Rose has completely untied her, but now James has her by the hair, the point of the gun aimed at her temple.

"James, baby, please. You don't want to do this," Rose begs.

"Rose, _baby_," he sneers. "Shut the fuck up!" He points the gun at the floor and fires a shot, making both Rose and Bella jump and whimper. In the distance, I hear sirens getting closer, but this is escalating quickly.

He leans in to Bella, brushing her hair from her face and kissing her briefly. She struggles and tries to push him away. He backs away slightly, laughing. His laughter ends abruptly and he stumbles a step as Bella smacks him across the face with her open hand.

"You fuckin' bitch! If that's the way you want to play, then fuck you." His hand flies and her head snaps back from the force of the blow. "Don't worry, B. Your _boyfriend_ will soon join you in hell!"

He steps back and raises the gun to point at her head. I quickly scramble from my hiding place before I have a chance to think. I launch myself at Bella, knocking her from the chair and turning her body away from the blast just as the gun goes off. A searing white pain pierces through my chest and I fall heavily on top of Bella. Behind me, I hear Emmett yelling for James to drop the gun and Rose screaming.

Under me, Bella begins to stir and I roll to my side as I put my arm protectively around her. She sobs into my chest and wraps her arms tightly around me. I grimace slightly at the increased pressure, but relax as I breathe in the scent of her hair and feel her warm breath on my cheek.

"Oh my God, Jasper. I was so scared he was going to kill someone. I've never seen him like that."

"I know, sweetheart, I know. Don't worry, it's all over now." Breathing is becoming more difficult and I can barely force the words passed my lips.

"Jasper? What's wrong?" Her beautiful brown eyes search my face for answers and I try to smile back at her, but my energy is gone.

"Nothing. Now that you are safe." I want to reach up to cup her face, but my hand won't follow my command anymore. I can feel the warmth slipping from my body with each moment that passes, each beat of my heart.

Bella releases her hold on me, sits up slightly and reaches toward my face. She stares at her hand and frowns with confusion, then her eyes widen in fear.

"Jasper, there's blood, so much blood. It's all over...my hands," she murmurs. Then reality hits her and she shouts over my shoulder, "Rose! Emmett! I think Jasper's been shot!"

"Shit," Rose swears and I hear her approaching from behind me although I can't move my head any longer. The sirens sound like they are just outside the building now and there are flashes of red and blue on the wall that start to blur together.

Rose helps Bella flip me onto my back and Bella's bottom lip trembles as she looks down at my chest. Her hands flutter in the space between us as tears leave course tracks down her cheeks. I smile up at her trying to reassure her.

"Bella, press your hands here." Rose guides Bella's hands to my side and I grunt with the pain as she pushes into my chest.

Bella's worried face fills my field of vision. "It's fine, right? You're going to be fine."

I look into Rose's tight face and she turns as police officers storm into the room. My eyes are so heavy and I'm having trouble keeping them open.

"No, no, Jasper, you can't leave me. You promised you would never leave me." The panic in Bella's voice brings me back from the edge.

"I'm not going anywhere. Don't worry, my darlin'."

Bella looks up past me for a minute, nods her head and turns back to my, smiling through her tears. "Jasper, honey, the police say there's an ambulance on its way. It's almost here. You have to hold on. For me, baby, hold on for me."

I think I nod my head but my mind is somehow disconnected from my body and I'm not sure where I am. I try to focus on Bella's deep brown eyes, pale skin, how it feels to kiss her full lips, how her hair is silky soft and slips through my fingers effortlessly, how I never want to leave her side.

I feel myself surrounded by more people and Bella's warm presence fades. I feel her grasp my hand as I'm lifted onto a gurney and wheeled into the hallway. She lets go as we descend the stairs, but she's back at my side when I'm placed in the ambulance.

An EMT rattles off my vitals on the radio, and I know I'm dying. Those numbers don't lie. I need to tell Bella something. I need her.

I look at her beautiful face, trying to etch it onto my soul. I squeeze her hand and she leans closer. My eyes close of their own volition, but her heavenly face still floats in my vision. She is safe. She is alive. I saved her.

"No! Jasper, hold on! I love you! Didn't you hear me? I love you! You can't leave me!" Her sweet pleas break my heart and I try to force my words out.  
_  
I know, sweet girl. I love you, too._

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**A/N: One chapter left and I will post it as soon as possible. And for anyone who thinks "Every Breath You Take" is romantic, I'm sorry to say it's always been creepy-stalker song to me.**

**I know that this seems like a horrible place to end this chapter, and you may not like me very much right now, but the last and final chapter will be posted this weekend, Sunday at the latest. Promise. And I have big hugs for anyone who may need them...**

**Big thanks to my beta, mhl1115, we've almost made it through this, bb. And an extra special hug for my SIL who preread this bitch for me.**


	11. Bed's Too Big Without You

**Disclaimer: Any recognizable characters are not mine. Here it is, the final planned chapter. Sad panda. As always, see you below.**

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** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** ** **  
Since that day when you'd gone  
Just had to carry on  
I get through the day, but late at night  
Made love to my pillow, but it didn't feel right

Every day just the same  
Old rules for the same old game  
All I gained was heartache  
All I made was one mistake

"Bed's Too Big Without You" ~ The Police

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BPOV**

_3 months later_

We inch along the deserted street, even the car is reluctant to visit our destination. Eventually, the cemetery comes into view, and I glance at Rose in the driver's seat as tears blur my vision. She squeezes my hand and I thank God she offered to drive me here, I couldn't have done this alone. She parks next to the large gate and we exit the car together. I pause next to the gate, the reality of this moment settling on me like lead weights. I feel her hand slip around my shoulder and her warmth presses into my side.

"You sure you want to do this? You don't have to today, ya' know."

"Yes, I do. I've waited too long," I mumble, looking at the ground as I feel tears slip down my cheeks. You would think, after all this time, that I would have no more tears.

I lean against Rose, my rock and strength over all these years, and we slowly walk through the graveyard.

"We're here, B," Rose whispers. I look up to find the simple gravestone marking his final resting spot, dark against the light dusting of early fall snow. I kneel on the cold ground and I can feel the wetness seeping through my jeans, but nothing physical can bother me now. The emotions tearing through my chest are burning a path of hot searing pain, fresh as the day I lost him. I've been avoiding visiting for too long now, and it's time to confront my past. Rose kneels next to me and I lean against her a little while she gently rubs my back. Taking comfort in her strength, I start my confession.

"Hey there, my love," I begin. "I know it's been a while, but I'm here now. With everything happening lately, I just needed to talk to you. I'm not sure how to do this or where to begin, so I guess I'll try to start at the beginning." Rose hugs my shoulder in encouragement and I take a deep breath to continue. She brushes her hair from her face, and her new diamond ring catches the light, throwing hundreds of rainbows around us. I half smile, remembering all the changes and happiness in our lives and all the pain that we have endured to get here.

"So much has happened since I last spoke to you. You have to know, you were my first true love, and I still love you with all of my heart. I don't live a day without thinking about you and how my life would have been different with you in it. You changed my life in the small time we had together, and have given me strength I didn't know I had. I wouldn't be the person before you today if you had never existed. You should know that I'm happy now, almost as happy as when I had you." I pause, the grief of his loss overwhelming me. Rose continues her slow circles on my back and when I can breathe again, I continue.

"My old, uh, employer is in jail and will be for a long time. He was charged with just about every felony possible, so he won't be seeing freedom hopefully ever." I take a deep breath to clear my head and stop the images from that horrible night. His trial was swift and painful but thankfully over.

"I have a real job now, well, it's just a waitressing job, but I'm making honest money." I actually smile at this, my first _real_ job that's legal. "I've also signed up for night classes this semester at the community college. So far, I'm only taking prereq's for the university, but I love my English literature class. I'm hoping some day I can be a teacher, surrounding myself with children that are eager to learn and live." This dream that I've held in my heart for so many years, may become a reality. I choke again on my sobs, so many dreams I thought I had lost forever are now becoming possible again.

Just one more part of my life to tell him about, the most difficult and happiest. "I want you to know that I've found love again and he's absolutely wonderful. He saved me from the darkness I was trapped in. I think you'd like him; he would have loved you. I invited him to come meet you today and he should be here soon."

As if on cue, I feel a calming presence behind me and a hand on my shoulder. I look up through my tears to see his concerned, blurry face as I grab his hand and he pulls me gently to my feet. His arms wrap tightly around me and he places a small kiss on my forehead. Rose stands and walks slowly away, giving us our space.

"I'm here, love," he whispers reassuringly into my hair, kissing the top of my head.

I pull away slightly and try to smile at him, but I can feel the tears slipping down my cheeks again.

"I'm so glad you decided to come today." I put a hand on his cheek, gazing into his eyes full of love for me.

"It's important to you, and I wouldn't miss it for anything." He leans down to leave a small chaste kiss on my lips and I sigh into his mouth, calm immediately radiating through me.

I smile and turn us so that he's facing the gravestone as well, his arm still wrapped around my shoulders and mine around his waist. I'm not sure what I'm doing, so I just cut to the chase. "This is the man I've been telling you about. The second love of my life." I gesture at the cold stone in the ground. "Edward, I want you to meet Jasper. Jasper, this is my Edward."

He smiles at me and hugs me tightly again before releasing me to address my past. Slightly tipping his hat, he greets the cold ground, "It's very nice to meet you, Edward." He smiles slightly and continues in a soft voice, "Your mom talks about you often and loved you very much."

Watching Jasper address my son's gravestone with sincerity and passion and reverence makes my heart ache with all the possibilities before us. All those possibilities that were almost taken from us by James. I burst into tears again and Jasper's strong arms encircle me, supporting me unwaveringly as always.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

I mumble into his chest, unable to put into words the feelings in my heart.

"Shh, shh. It's okay. I'm here. Everything will be okay."

"Everything already _is_ okay. You are so perfect and....and I'm just so scared because I-I want everything w-with you and there's...always something, or someone, in our way and I just want to be together. Why can't we be together?" I look up into his deep grey eyes, those eyes that have always seemed to penetrate into the deep reaches of my soul.

"We can, Bella, and we are. What's upsetting you so much?" He grips my arms tightly, worry creasing his brow.

"I don't know..." I sob against his chest as he pulls me in tightly again.

"Is it Rose and Emmett? Their engagement?"

"No. Yes. I'm so happy for them, for knowing what they want and not waiting. But..." I trail off, not knowing how to complete that thought.

"They're just so sickly sweet it's nauseating?" Jasper is smirking at me and I'm amazed that he took the words straight from my head. "It's okay to admit it, they are. It's ridiculous. Now that they've acknowledged their feelings, they're like teenagers, always going at it, no matter who's around or where they are."

"Oh, I know! I walked in on them yesterday, both naked and going at it like rabbits on the kitchen counter! I've seen more of Emmett than I've ever wanted." I shake my head and look up at Jasper. He's blushing and muttering to himself and I look up at him in confusion.

"Uh, Jasper? What's up?"

"Well, this isn't really the place that I thought I'd be asking this, but it may help your problem." He pauses and shuffles his feet, his nervousness rubbing off on me.

"You need to spit out whatever you're going to say or I might just go insane."

He chuckles and looks steadfastly into my eyes. "Bella Swan, will you do me the honor of..." He pauses and I gasp, wondering if I'm ready for this, if we're ready for this. "Uh, moving in with me?"

I breathe easily again. "Damn it, Jasper! I thought you were going to ask me something else! Of course, I'll move in with you. Thank God! I don't think I could take much more of Emmett's ass."

He lets out the breath he was holding and kisses me sweetly. "I really don't want you to look at his ass either, honestly."

I giggle and relax into his arms.

Rose walks back toward us, rubbing her hands together. "Are you two ready to head back? It's getting freaking cold out here!"

"Sure," I answer. "I just need to say goodbye to Edward and then I think I'll ride with Jasper if that's okay."

"Great!" she responds, her whole face lighting up. "I can drop by the bar then and see Emmett." She wiggles her eyebrows at me and I hear Jasper groan.

They walk away together and I turn back to Edward's grave. "So, now you've met Jasper. I love him and he makes me happy. He's changed everything in my life for the better. I've never felt safer in my entire life than I do in his arms. I'm finally healing and he has everything to do with that. I promise I will be back soon. I love you, always." I kiss my fingers and place them gently on the top of the cold stone, pausing for a second to remember my baby boy.

Sighing, I turn and walk slowly back toward the cars, slipping under Jasper's arm and stopping them in midconversation, apparently about Emmett's ass again.

"Oh, speaking of that, Jasper asked me to move in with him and I said yes." I cringe, waiting for Rose's reaction, which I'm sure will be exuberant and physical. I'm not disappointed.

Rose reaches over to squeeze my arm and slap Jasper on the back. "About fucking time, you two! Now I can finally move in with Emmett. I was wondering how much exhibitionist sex we were going to have before you wanted to move out!" She laughs loudly at my obvious outrage before she leans in conspiratorially. "Although, honestly, I think Emmett might actually just like it that way."

"Well, when I'm at Jasper's, remember to call ahead before you come over. I don't want anyone to see his ass but me." Rose and I laugh as Jasper blushes and ducks his head. Rose and I will never be shy about sex or our bodies, and it's sometimes fun to push Jasper's buttons.

I give Rose a tight hug, thanking her for all she's done for me. I climb into Jasper's car, and watch as the cemetary fades from view. My past may be painful but it's in the past, my future is sitting next to me and I need to focus on him now. I turn back to Jasper, noticing he's watching me warily.

"You okay, Bells?"

"With you, I'm more than okay."

He smirks at me and I reach across and grab his hand, holding it tightly the whole ride back to his apartment.

_Our_ apartment.

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**A/N: Well, there you have it, they **_**do**_** have there happily ever after. Is it what you pictured? What you wanted for them? Too abrupt? Just right? Want more? I have nothing planned, but bribes are always welcomed if you're dying to know what's next or have an idea for an outtake. I want to focus on ENP and my Twi25 challenge piece for a little while, but I do love these characters…**

**Major thanks for all the support, comma correction and hand holding from my beta, mhl1115 and my sister. This has been a real challenge and I loved every minute.**

**If you liked this story, please leave me a little love. Thank you all for reading and I have loved all the reviews!! Visit my other stories or you can see what nonsense is going on in my daily life on twitter: bmango77. Hopefully, see you all around!!**


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